in need of motivation

until last week things were going good for nofap. i had almost hit a 2 week streak, and i was being very productively and alive, filling every day with many meaningfull activities. then one night i went out with my friends. we got drunk and some guy showed me a instagram profile of a girl with not so much clothing on. and even though i had felt almost no urge during my 2 week streak, this image just immediately spawned the urge inside me. as i was with my friends i could kind of forget about the image, because i had distraction. but on my way home, my drunk brain got so excited about the prospect of being able to watch porn, that i inmediately made the choice in my head that i would allow myself ''just this one time'' to PMO, because it would feel so great doing drunk. i PMO''d and it was as usual a very depressing event. it felt only great when i saw the first P pictures i looked at. then i started watching P videos and inmediately i felt regret and disgust, but i still kept looking because i couldnt get my eyes off it. after a while i PMO'd. the next day i PMO'd as well, because i had the feeling that i ''didn't enjoy it enough last night' and that i had to make up for that. then the 2 days after that i pmod as well. after that i didn't pmo for 2 days, but now last night i mo'd. what really upsets me is the reason why i mo'd last night. the reason is that i was having a really hard time falling asleep. i fell asleep first at 10 in the evening, with quite much effort , then randomly woke up during 1 o clock, after which i again had to do much effort in orde to fall asleep. then i fking woke up again because for some reason my laptop decided that it was a good idea to start making noises. when i woke up then i also felt that i was out of air, i have a disease in my nose which makes breathing quite hard from time to time, and it really hit me then. as i lied down to attempt for the third time to fall asleep i got the feeling that it wasn't going to work, or maybe only after an hour or something. i had already spent so much time trying to fall asleep that i didnt want to go through the whole cycle again, but i felt like shit because i was out of air and being extremely tired. for some reason MO'ing helps with my breathing problem, and it also helps to make me fall asleep. so i mo'd. now i am really frustrated because every night i can just randomly wake up and be out of air, and then ruin my streak. its really a problem i don't have any control of, and the thought that it can always just happen quite demotivates me, so that is why i wrote this post. a big thanks to the people who took time to read this long (and quite messy i admit) post!