Is edging good for PE?

Discussion in 'Porn-Induced Sexual Dysfunctions' started by Ghost79, Jul 9, 2020.

  1. Ghost79

    Ghost79 Fapstronaut

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    I noticed I had PE recently but I didn't have a girlfriend for years before so maybe I had it a long time. When watching hours of porn the urge got so huge to fap and to release the juice that I didn't bother taking it slow. So I think the combination of P and M caused my PE.
     
  2. SynapticMagic

    SynapticMagic Fapstronaut

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    Yeah so it's two-fold. You've basically not had sex for a long time, which reduces your stamina. Then, when you did masturbate, you did it fast so you conditioned yourself to cum fast. You just have to reverse that conditioning by taking your time and learning to enjoy the slow process.
     
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  3. Ghost79

    Ghost79 Fapstronaut

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    Do you think that some libido enhanced foods like Maca, Red Ginseng can help with PE?
     
  4. SynapticMagic

    SynapticMagic Fapstronaut

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    I have experience with maca, and I didn't find that it increased stamina. Red ginseng I honestly don't know.
     
  5. You should try an understanding girlfriend. And practice with her. If you make sure, she gets off aswell (hands tongue etc) she shouldn't complain. After all, sexual dysfunctions are not uncommon, and happens in both genders. You don't throw out your gf if she has lower libido than usual (constant "head hurting"). Same with not being able to get wet. Also, if she struggles to have orgasms, you most likely try to help her as much as possible. Why should you settle with a girl, who can't accept if you cum to early in the first couple of attempts?
    I mean, you will most likely have other sexual dysfunctions when you get older (like ED). Do you want to live with someone, who can't accept your struggles with that?
     
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  6. johnsoe

    johnsoe Fapstronaut

    I just got a Fleshlight STU, currently practicing on that.
     
  7. I think you all should give more attention to this post:

    He said an interesting thing I never could have thought.
    He said, that in order to learn to not tip over the point of no return, he did edge a lot , but by doing so he trained himself to reach the edge too quickly. And most likely because sex is a different feeling to masturbating he just tipped off and that was it.
    Whatever you do, don't be like him. Train yourself to last long (like 30 mins) and then start the edging (even stop if you have to). You want to train yourself lasting long, not staying on risky waters for long.

    Also note, that some toys are in fact tighter and more stimulating than the real thing. You don't want to desensitize yourself. (You don't want to suffer from the "death grip" phenomenon. Where people can't enjoy sex because they overstimulated themselves during masturbation)
    So take your time, make sure you don't get close to the edge too fast, and then make sure you can control the edge good (for like another 10 minutes). Its an useful skill to know when you blow exactly.

    Some claim, that STU is very stimulating so use it carefully. (Both with death grip, and with reaching the edge too fast)
     
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  8. johnsoe

    johnsoe Fapstronaut

    I’m in much the same boat. Years of M with my hands led to glans desensitization, I’m guessing. Being honest I don’t ever remember my glans feeling before it was beaten numb, so maybe that’s just how my glans is. Time will tell. STU is soft, yet has a large surface contact area with penis, it’s tighter than an average vagina, so rationale is if you get used to this, you’ll be pretty in control in a real vagina. I also like the work out it gives you :emoji_sunglasses:. I was sweating bullets after 10 minutes.
     
  9. Ghost79

    Ghost79 Fapstronaut

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    So edging helps because it desensitize the penis. But what worries me is the dopamine rush I will get from it.
    So I am undecided if I should edge or not to cure my PE while still being on nofap. Isn't there any other way to cure PE
     
  10. If you wish to stay on nofap, forget edging and touching yourself at general.

    If you don't have any problems with porn, or anything sexual other than PE, then find a girlfriend and start practicing. ( watch my post above)
    If you can't manage to have the courage, to find a girl, then leave nofap and start practicing with your hand. Here are some do's and don'ts

    -Don't use porn! Don't train your brain to get aroused by things you most likely won't experience. (you may get Erectile disfunctions, like many guys here on this forum) + a bunch of other unpleasant effects.
    If you can't manage to not use porn for masturbation, you are a porn addict. Get back to nofap, and heal yourself.
    Your mental well being is more important than PE.
    -Don't lay on your stomach! Some guys myself included try to "hump" and get off like that. That causes a bunch of damage on the long run, don't do it.
    -Don't rush it, last at least 30 minutes before reaching the edge for the first time. Keep a constant not too fast pace. Don't reach the edge too fast, you may not last on the edge on the real thing.
    Don't blow when you reach the edge for the first time. Keep edging, and practice cumming when you wish to cum. (helps a lot later)
    Do get a girl as soon as possible!
    Don't squeeze yourself too hard, your hand can be stronger than a girls private parts. (You may experience death grip)

    Good luck!
     
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  11. SynapticMagic

    SynapticMagic Fapstronaut

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    I agree with most things @NeedSomeHelp2, said, however there is one sort of disagreement and some more things to say about it.

    Firstly, I think if PE is your biggest priority right now, you need to let go of your fear of getting delayed ejaculation (DE). The reason for this, is because DE is far easier to deal with than PE.

    You need to master your orgasm on your own before you can truly master it with someone else. The reason for this is merely a matter of difficulty and time. It is far more difficult to master it while also honouring the pleasure and agency of your partner. As much as they may want to help you, mastering your orgasm essentially requires you to masturbate with them because you're so focused on your own experience. Can you do it with a partner? Of course, but when you couple that with the time it takes to master your orgasm, you are essentially asking your partner to sacrifice a lot of their own pleasure as you go through the first steps of the process. Once you master it by yourself, you'll be in a much better position to honour your partner while also working on mastering your orgasm in this new environment.

    However, this also puts you at risk of DE because the time and effort it takes to master your orgasm through masturbation may desensitize you to the feeling of a vagina. This is actually a good thing. One of the biggest issues that men have with DE is the fact that they start making ejaculation the sole focus of sex. They are so insecure about not being able to cum that they don't see this as a great opportunity to not only honour their partner, but also just get lost in the process of being intimate.

    This is true even for those who have DE to the point of not being able to really enjoy the physical sensations of penile stimulation while having intercourse. The fact is that penile stimulation is only one part of sex. The biggest mistake that any man makes in sex is valuing penile stimulation above the other elements of sex. Not only the intimate emotions of connecting to your partner, but also in the foreplay, in building an atmosphere, in setting the scene, so to speak. Sex is performance art, like theater. If you want truly amazing sex, you must take responsibility for making every single act of the play as enjoyable as the others, even the climax.

    With DE, what you've been given is the perfect opportunity to focus on those other acts. You now no longer have the option to get tunnel vision for orgasm. So, while you wait for your sensitivity to heal, you must take advantage of this opportunity and practice what your education on sex tells you about creating amazing sexual experiences for yourself and your partner. During this period you shouldn't masturbate. However, you should be aware of your own sensations while you heal. Orgasm mastery requires that you do this. As your sensitivity returns you'll have to bring more and more consciousness to your own experience in order to find that sweet spot of stimulation, performance, and orgasm control. Hopefully by this time you'll have mastered the other elements of the performance.

    And if you don't have DE, well then the same rules apply just from the other side. Take your time, learn the performance, and honour your partner. Reality is set up in such a way that sex is really based around the male orgasm. However much you may want to continue pleasuring your partner after your ejaculate, your ability to do so is severely hampered. As such, it is your responsibility to master your orgasm and to ensure that the performance goes as planned. This is not an unfortunate element of reality. It is a high responsibility to rise to, but I would much rather this control than not having the control. Once you take the time to master this responsibility you are in the best position possible. Go through the process of mastery, deal with the difficulties of it, and you'll be incredibly grateful for it.

    As for the dopamine rush of masturbation. This is one of the biggest mistakes that I see in the NoFap community. Addiction and pathological behaviour cannot be reduced to the function of dopamine within the brain. The pathologizing of the reward network is merely the mechanism by which the addiction develops, but not WHY the addiction needed to develop in the first place. An addiction is the pathological coping of emotional pain. You must learn to deal with that emotional pain far more than you must be dedicated sexual abstinence.

    Dedicate yourself to NoFap for roughly 90 days to allow your brain time to heal from the dopaminergic changes of addiction. During that time, learn the skills you need for dealing with emotional pain in healthy ways. Create a healthy lifestyle in general by adding habits of self-improvement and success. Afterward, you can begin adding edging without pornography within worrying too much about whatever doapminergic effects it may have. Again, make sure you take the necessary time afterward for your sexual arousal to return to a non-aroused baseline by meditating and moving this, "sexual energy," around your body. Also, if you relapse with pornography, then you must take the time off of edging and dig deeper to figure out why you turned to it and what you can do to prevent that from happening.

    Simply blaming edging for why you relapsed at that point isn't the full picture. A man is in control of himself. At that point it is up to you to figure out how to remain abstinent from pornography while also mastering your orgasm. It is more than possible. Making excuses for yourself like, "oh I relapsed because I edged," is not how you master your orgasm or yourself. You relapsed because you chose to. Figure out why you chose to and recommit to staying away from pornography.

    The reason I don't recommend that kind of mindset before 90 days of strict abstinence, is because your brain simply isn't capable of handling that. Or at the very least we should assume it isn't. Certain mindsets are beneficial for certain levels. A mindset that gets you to level 5, may prevent you from getting to level 10. And that mindset that gets you to level 10, may prevent you from first getting to level 5. It is up to you to figure out what those mindsets are.
     
  12. Ghost79

    Ghost79 Fapstronaut

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    I also think it's better to first await the 90 days trial for getting rid of the damage that porn did and only then one should try to edge to battle PE.
     
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