Is giving up porn enough? Why no results?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Indurian, Aug 17, 2020.

  1. Indurian

    Indurian Fapstronaut

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    I've been free of porn and masturbation for 18 months, and I can definitely say that I feel better as a result.

    However. Is it enough? What, if anything else is required?

    You see many successful reebooters complain that after months of abstinence they feel no different. Why? Well, if you've been on the Nofap bandwagon for a while then you will know that you in order to recover and thrive in the long run, you need to make other significant changes in your life. If you are experiencing anxiety, depression, anhesonia etc, as most of us are here, then you will know that giving up porn, in isolation, will not solve all these problems. It is a meaningful and necessary part of it, don't let there be any doubt about that, but there is more work to be done in conjunction with the nofap aspect of recovery.

    If you research YBOP (if you have not yet then please do), you will come to understand that we have all blitzed our brains reward systems, such that they no longer function correctly. This means no contentment in life, which makes us think that porn is the only answer, hence all the relapses. However, it's not just porn that has impacted our dopamine receptors. I watched a video recently, centred around the dangers of sugar (I'll post the link below) and the professor giving the talk very succinctly stated that we give up our happiness for pleasure. We want constant dopamine hits so we watch porn, masturbate, lust after people, ogle etc. However, we also drink too much alcohol, take too many drugs, drink too many sodas, drink to much coffee, eat vast amounts of processed foods, snack too much, gossip etc etc I'm coming to realise unequivocally that the more of these temporary pleasures I give up then the more peace and wellbeing I experience.

    If you are struggling to see results from Nofap then I implore you to keep going. Do not ever give up, no matter how long it takes. However, if you want enhanced happiness then think about what other meaningless pleasures you can also give up. I now know the impact of sugar so I've cut it from my diet. I know that reduction of meaningless screen time is the next thing I need to work on.

    Bottom line, if you want to be happy then please consider what pleasures you can eliminate from your life. Definitely paradoxical, I know, but it does work.

     
  2. Boyish 123

    Boyish 123 Fapstronaut

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  3. Nice post OP. I was about to do a thread about this subject. Some cases NOFAP is not enough. I've changed everything my life no I eat foods healthy according my genetic, do meditation, exercises and also stopped sugar, I've realized I was a sugar addict too.
     
  4. thikk

    thikk Fapstronaut

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    I am really not sure what you are trying to say. The only benefit of nofap is that you stop pmo. Anything else you have to work on and improve by yourself. If you have anxiety or whatever and you've successfully done an honest nofap for a year then you need to solve those problems independently I think. Hate to see people hang around the pmo idea even after they are free of it. Just move on from it and fix your life. Nofap is not the answer to everything it just stops your pmo addiction.
     
    Boyish 123 likes this.
  5. Overhaul

    Overhaul Fapstronaut

    Yes I'm not sure if I buy into this puritanical approach either or that it's helpful. In my case, I'm miserable enough as it is (end of marriage, fairly bad PAWS symptoms from giving up porn) without having to forego all other 'temporary pleasures' such as those that you list. If a pint of delicious real ale or a tin of Stella, or a bar of chocolate, afford me some fairly innocent pleasure then it seems like a small and admittedly temporary gain for a very small price. If being a literal monk is making the OP truly happy then great but I'm going to stick to getting over my former porn addiction and building a new normal life.
     
  6. Indurian

    Indurian Fapstronaut

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    I get where you're coming from. It does seem a bit extreme if you think you're giving up all your pleasure in life. I made the thread because this course of action works for me and there are lots of people who post about nofap having no effect. The reason they may have no effect could be cross addictions, where the individual gives up dopamine from porn but get it from other unhealthy sources, namely overindulgence in smoking, social media, cakes, beer marijuana etc etc.

    It's not about being puritanical or monklike but coming to a realisation that a particular activity, while maybe offering very small temporary pleasure, will produce mental or physical suffering, and reduce your baseline happiness. Ultimately though, just do what works for you.
     
    DGZ likes this.
  7. OhWhenThe

    OhWhenThe Fapstronaut

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    I often suspect that those who feel no benefits from giving up probably weren't that addicted in the first place.
     
    ewerson18 likes this.
  8. Raven King

    Raven King Fapstronaut

    Good post. I view doing NoFap as the beginning to real change. It's not just about quitting porn, but creating a good and healthy life for yourself. When you quit PMO you can spend that time and energy of healthier and more meaningful things like exercise, diet, social relationships, career, hobbies, etc. You also will be more motivated to do so.
     
  9. DGZ

    DGZ Fapstronaut

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    OP isn't asking you to give up pleasures. The happy chemicals you give up will be redistributed throughout your day in a way that makes sure you are perfectly happy and content.

    Edit: that's my understanding of his post at least.
     
    Last edited: Aug 17, 2020
    Indurian likes this.
  10. Overhaul

    Overhaul Fapstronaut

    I'm not sure a life of complete abstemiousness is that human, really, unless you're a monk. But many on the forum do seem to want that, I can see. If only I too could similarly squeeze some dopamine from this monastic virtue.
     
  11. Indurian

    Indurian Fapstronaut

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    That's a good way of putting it.

    I'm suggesting possible abstinence from those habits outwith PMO that we also reach for when stressed / depressed / anxious etc to try to make ourselves feel better.

    The are of course multiple healthy habits that we can replace them with, namely exercise, connecting with others etc.
     
  12. thikk

    thikk Fapstronaut

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    I think this is better than op's suggestion. Nofap is all about stopping pmo at the core. So this remains the priority and we shouldn't place anything ahead of this. However, improving those other aspects of life just make you an all round better person, improve health and healing etc. So they are important but you do not need to go to extremes cutting out sugar and what have you. I believe the paradox of choice may apply here, where you have so many actions to take that you do none. And I have seen people complain that nofap measures are too many cold shower, diet, exercise etc. However, the op has a point in that getting rid of dopamine sources may make it easier to reset the system so to speak. Someone who has a continuously high amount of dopamine in their blood may take longer to heal than someone who sort of flushes the entire system out and lets the body be sensitive to small amounts of dopamine again. Either way, I stick on the side of simplicity. If you cannot do anything else just focus on stopping pmo. But integrating those other things in moderation can improve quality of life and focus as you fill the newly created time with productive actions.
     
    Raven King likes this.
  13. Shuman

    Shuman Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for this inspirational post
     

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