Is it possible to condition your brain not to get turned on as easily? (gay man)

Is it possible? I'm trying to recover from this PIED and I have a friend. We just talk but I get turned on when we talk on Skype or when we chat. I find him attractive but I have PIED, my libido is dead, my penis shrinks, can't get aroused as easily, etc. I really don't want to damage the friendship and just stop talking to him.

Is it possible through meditation, cold showers, and maybe through some other helpful techniques I can not get semi-erections when talking to him? It's hard because I think about him and get a semi and this is not helping my reboot. I need to keep sexual thoughts to a minimum. I don't want to abandon this friendship because obviously we're friends and I don't want to not ever talk to him again.

Who knows how long this reboot will take you know? He's not single too. He wants to hang out though as friends. I need to keep it in my mind that we're friends and not to get sexual with him. I don't talk dirty to him at all.

I don't know what to do. On one hand I like talking to him and I kind of have a crush. On the other, I need to reboot and I can't let my feelings override this for the reboot.

I would appreciate some advice. I am really upset and it's been bothering me.

I'm staying away from the porn which is good. I cut that out. This is the remaining issue and I quite frankly don't know what the fuck to do. Sorry for my language.

Do I have to abandon this friendship to reboot or am I screwed either way?

I'm really upset and I'm just miserable here. :-(

 

The Skype probably doesn't help. I dunno. I just want to temporarily diminish my sexual interest in this guy so I can successfully try the reboot.

I'd rather not turn off the camera option when talking to him. I know that's not the best idea, but I dunno. I hope I can try and just lower my dopamine cravings for a while, even when talking to him.

Our last conversation wasn't even really dirty, it was about a man to man talk about life yet during the whole time, I had a semi-erection. I think the semi-erection is a good indication that everything works downstairs you know?

There's gotta be a way to diminish my sexual interest in him for a while and we can talk on Skype and I won't be too aroused. It doesn't help that I have bipolar disorder so I think that's where the hypersexuality comes in you know? I hope that meditation can help me. This is hard as hell. Cold showers too.

This has been my issue since rebooting. My worst one. If I can get over this, I am home free. So much help can be appreciated here. I'm trying and willing to focus on new things outside my comfort zone. It's not helpful that I'm very self-conscious about being gay, so this is new to me.

I have way too much time on my hands, so I think that's why I just get turned on so easily too you know? I need to fill up my time with shit. Would that in itself, reduce the sexual cravings when talking to him on camera again (you think)? We talk on camera about maybe once a month or so. Not often.

I want to try and do this successfully. It'll help me build willpower, mind strength, and I'll feel better i think. The harder, the better.

 

I am aroused and I'm afraid that it will mess with my progress and I want to try to recondition my brain (is it even possible?) so I'm not even turned on my him as much when we talk.

I feel terrible though because I lost 30 days of progress and then he messaged me and I just feel like shit...I stopped the porn, I stopped the dating websites, and I stopped Scruff. This is my last major hurdle and I don't want to abandon this friendship. At all.

 

Ugh, I really hate myself.

 

I am about 34 days into my reboot without a single full-body orgasm to PMO, but I think he triggered me when he messaged me and I had a semi-erection during Skype and the following days I couldn't stop thinking about him and triggering my own self-check erections that I was OCDing over. I didn't expect him to message me. At all. I was shocked and a little down when I feel like I "relapsed" so I dunno what to do. I should just forget these setbacks and keep going right? Is this the proper method? We can go days without talking, but he was messaging me a few days after during this recent incident and he triggered a big semi-erection with pre-cum.

I started the gym. I need to get back into meditating. I haven't noticed any positive progression really except for my own willpower not to use porn or go on scruff, okcupid, etc.

A few semi-erections with cum won't really set me back right? That's my main concern. That's why I'm anxiously beating myself up and I get nervous that I'm fucking up.

Sorry. I just don't want to beat myself up over this...it sucks.

34 days without a full-body orgasm is good progress though right? I hate this mishap.

I need to think of him different not just for my own sake but for the fact that he has a boyfriend as well. We actually had a good conversation and it wasn't just about sexual dirty talk. I don't want to lose a friend to this.

I'm scared that I'm doing this wrong, and that's why I'm beating myself up. I have a low self-esteem as it is.

 

I think that's a good way to look at it.

It's...not easy for me. At all. I'm new to this changing of thoughts thing and I can't seem to shake it. I'm very use to being a hypersexual gay man and the slightest thing can turn me on so I need to calm the fuck down for my own sake. But as long as it's doable, then I can believe I can do it. I need to train my brain for this. I jerked off to porn for years so this is new to me. I get turned on by the simplest of things.

This is my own journey.

 

Right right. I need to view him as a human being, not a sexual object. There could be a moment where if we continue talking and we have good talks, it can unfortunately turn me on. I don't know why that is. I just hope that these talks I have don't really ruin my reboot. I wonder if serious soul-searching on my end is something I need to do to overcome this the hard way. I have a history of fear of friend rejection and the last thing I want is to lose a friend because of a stupid fucking addiction that destroyed my erections.

I'm 29 years old turning 30 next month. I have a history of bipolar mental illness and I seek psychotherapy weekly. I used porn to cope with my insecurity and stress of everyday life.

 

Yeah, I agree. I just don't know what direction to take this in because it's tough. Quitting porn does seem more of a lifestyle thing than strictly 90 days. After all of those arousing semi-erections for a few days I felt like I almost relapsed but I dunno. Again, it's a journey.

I do feel like I can't abandon the friendship but I do need to kind of change my perspective in some way so I can get over him from an emotional and sexual standpoint. Because I feel so miserable from this. I feel like I need to continue to change.

I have a low self-esteem as it is.

 

Do you guys think I relapsed at all? Or is this more of a "bump"? I'm quite nervous and scared and never felt this emotional pain in my life in a long time. I apologize. I need to start going back to the gym.