Is it possible to just become somehow asexual?

Hi, thanks for sharing your thoughts and wishes. Reading it I just wondered how does that work: Wishing for a free mind and wishing to be asexual? I mean. Being abstinent would be a condition. But a free mind would have to be unconditioned. Why not first stopping PMO and find out what happens?

 

While sexuality is fluid and can change and manifest itself in different ways through ones life, its not really something you can brute force change. Any efforts to try and do so usually ends up with people being in extremely bad mental health positions. Look at people with homosexual ocd, they don't want to be gay and would actually be willing to do anything to be straight, and their mental health is generally worse for it. Suppressing your sexuality because you're having a hard time handling it seems like a band aid solution thats not really gonna get to the root of why you're like this in the first place. Many people on here have been in your position and gotten through it, you can too. And it doesn't take denying or repressing who you are to do it.

 

Except that sex is not just the penis between your legs and the hormones and surges from your testes. Sexual exergy is also the energy and power that we have to relate to the world. Isn't it interesting that when a baby is born, the first thought on everyone's mind is a sexual question. That is, is it a boy or girl? The reason folks want and need to know this is not just for insight about the genitals between the baby's legs, but so that they will know as an individual as to how to relate to the child from the start. Hence, sex is much about relationship and relating energy, and even more so than just genital expression and genital struggles. We relate to ourself as a man, who is a man. We relate to other men as a man and other women as a man. And, they in turn relate to us likewise. If one decides to be asexual, that relational energy is bent and distorted. How do you relate as a no-sex (asexual) person to sexual people, and how do sexual people relate to a no-sex person? Asexuality in all its expressions really divorces one from human interaction and from society. What we really need is to learn to use and channel our genital and hormonal energies into healthy modes of expression. That also is being sexual, regardless of whether one engages in genital sex. Pretending to be asexual does not make that struggle go away - the struggle only intensifies if we embrace a disordered view or channel of self.

 

25 days without PMO is way too short to draw conclusions. If you stay clean for longer, and are busy doing other things then the obsessions will eventually reduce.

The problem is that you don’t enjoy the feeling, you deny your own sexuality. That feeling should create a certain flirty attitude instead of creating a sneaky attitude that wants to secretly fap. You know what I mean?

 

I don't think its possible or healthy to eliminate sexuality completely, but it would be so nice to turn it on and off at will.

 

You'd be getting yourself more into compulsion and addiction - real life is not the idealization of TV characters. Those characters in real life would have serious misgivings.

 

The task is to grow and heal and become addiction free and better channel your sexual energy and build relationships in your life so that the dam of frustration is broken through. It won't be overnight - but it's a reason to live each day. It's part of the journey.

 

Yeah I mean, that seems pretty similar to what I was getting at. Suppression, elimination, denial, its all kind of in the same boat of damn near impossible. This getting over urges and sexual frustration is usually part of the process of overall becoming more comfortable and in control of your sexuality, which is usually a main point of nofap. The more you try to deny something the stronger it's presence in the mind becomes. Not trying to discourage you but I feel like this is probably overkill considering you've only went so long with no pmo before coming to the conclusion its just not gonna work. I can't say what will work or not work for you but its a given that its going to be a tough journey and depending on how hooked you were, its gonna be tough for a while before it gets better. Also, have you considered a counselor or therapist possibly? Maybe even one that specializes in sexual topics.

 

Well, it may not apply to you.

 

Your only solution is to talk to girls, doesn’t a boner give you motivation to start some small talk?

 

Your sexuality is completely connected and intertwined with PMO, you need to talk to girls and stop PMO’ing for it to become normal. In other words your body doesn’t know any other sexual outlet than PMO and that needs to change or else it’s an endless cycle

 

The linger u go the easier it gets. 25 days is nothing. Go for 250 and u will get what u desire along the way