Is it true some guys can't stop when they start?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by skaterdrew, Aug 15, 2019.

  1. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

    When I say can't stop I mean after they have relapsed they can't stop PMOing for weeks or months?

    I mean I do tend to binge a bit when I relapse, but it's usually over after a few hours, a maximum of maybe 2 days or something at my worst, and then I am usually off PMO again for a few weeks.

    But is it true some guys can't stop for weeks or months after they relapse?
  2. level81rat

    level81rat Fapstronaut

    I'm with Summer here. It's terrifying how quickly you can go back to old habits after PMOing, as if you never did NoFap in the first place.
  3. RobinCoenBrosFan

    RobinCoenBrosFan Fapstronaut

    Exact same thing with me.
    Deleted-Account and be Dane like this.
  4. True for me. When I relapsed it took me a couple of MONTHS to get back on nofap.
    Fenix Rising, level81rat and be Dane like this.
  5. be Dane

    be Dane Fapstronaut

    After my last relapse like 9 months ago after my longest streak, I felt like giving up on NoFap and kept binging for months.
    level81rat likes this.
  6. Stug

    Stug Fapstronaut

    its just bullshit depends on your surroundings and personal life, for some people it's easy for some it's very hard

    if you remove all your technology like internet , tablet , phone etc ( dump them at a friend or family house or maybe a temporary deposit/ storage ) its way easier. after 2 weeks you feel little urge to watch. Just remove the option to watch porn. If you are at home all day like me it's way harder to deal with the lack of stimulation, it's way harder to steer clear of porn you relapse way more.

    If you have any mental disease or anything else in that regard like unstable personal life or your relationship ended its very easy to fall into the trap of hypersexuality.
  7. Feelslikezoom23

    Feelslikezoom23 Fapstronaut

    The exact same thing happens to me.

    I haven't released my cum for a week or so and I get more horny with every passing day.
    My testosterone is increasing.
    When I relapse, I need to cum 3 times to empty my self out and then all urges have disappeared
  8. Fenix Rising

    Fenix Rising Fapstronaut

    I believe it depends on how long were you addicted and how long addiction lasted. I have always ended in multi months long binge after having long monk streak behind me. I've had binge MO problem for 25 and binge PMOed for 17 years. You just can't erase stress/anxiety -> binge PMO behavior connection out of your brain if you have been practicing it for 2/3 of your life. I'm focused on preventing slip becoming full blown relapse by preplanning some quite drastic measures. I just can't allow myself another full blown relapse, it would ruin me.
    level81rat and learning like this.
  9. learning

    learning Fapstronaut

    My last long period of abstinence was 10 years ago for 2 years. I haven't been able to abstain more than a week or two since that time.

    Part of it might be personality. I have depression and low self esteem and anxiety, so my inner voice says I'm a failure and that two-year period of abstinence was only dumb luck based on special circumstances that can never be repeated.

    Also there are some similarities between alcoholism and porn addiction. Many alcoholics who abstain for a long time would have difficulty picking themselves up and starting to abstain again after a relapse. My grandfather was an alcoholic and abstained for 10 years or more. Then one day he decided that he should be able to drink socially and that restarted his problem. He was never able to abstain again for the rest of his life. Amazingly he kept his problem private. I never saw him with a drink, but apparently he was an alcoholic. ... I have been abstaining from alcohol the past 10 years, and I worry about what might happen if I ever slip-up. The alcohol problem would be the final nail in the coffin for me.

    Another factor might be the person's reasons for abusing porn and their reasons for wanting to control the problem. If you are in a relationship it probably helps but I am only guessing.

    There is a disappointment factor too. The longer the period of abstinence the greater the feeling of disappointment and anger at yourself for slipping-up. You think about how much effort you invested in that long streak and you dread starting over and you feel that it was all washed-away by one careless mistake.
    Last edited: Aug 18, 2019
  10. Fenix Rising

    Fenix Rising Fapstronaut

    Maybe I can be of some help with advice here, as I also suffer from clinical depression and social anxiety non existent self-esteem mainly caused by some long lasting childhood trauma I don't want to talk about publicly. I've tried to quit binge MO and PMO most of my adult life. I'd say for the last 17 years at least but problems with compulsive binge MO since the age of 13. I've been very unsuccessful in fighting this addiction until recent years, when things got so out of hand that my body couldn't handle such levels of self abuse anymore and I was getting physically and mentally more and more ill because of it. So what what enabled me to break out of this vicious addiction cycle?
    1) I've embraced the pain and suffering. We escape into addiction because we're afraid to face painful emotions which originate in some underlying psych issue we were not able to adequately resolve (for me it's a childhood trauma). When you accept that pain is necessary for you to get better in advance, withdrawals will become much easier to withstand.
    2) I've refocused my focus from abstention to trying to achieve daily goals which will help me cure my anxiety and depression (I journaled them every day-> Aug 8, 2018 ). There is some psych fenomena called ego fatigue (you can google it), that's why focusing only on abstention isn't a good idea
    3) I'm learning everything possible about what addiction is and how it works from scientific, therapeutic and anecdotal point of view
    4) Trying to identify, understand and address underlying issue that brought me to my drug of choice
    5) Letting go of the past. Learn to forgive myself for my past actions and try to focus and do my best in a present moment. Guilt and shame solely produce stress and stress leads to relapse
    6) I'm not naive anymore, I've stopped thinking that I've beaten the beast for good. I learned the hard way that addiction can pull you back in the rabbit hole in an instant if you become complacent, that's why I have preplanned step by step action plan to prevent slip from becoming full blown relapse again -> Jul 16, 2019
    level81rat, learning and Strijder like this.
  11. Strijder

    Strijder Fapstronaut

    How hard to achieve are your daily goals? I’m just curious. Daily goals for me are hard because sometimes if I don’t do them then they make me feel weak and the whole circle starts again of accepting that and loving myself and that it’s okay.
  12. Fenix Rising

    Fenix Rising Fapstronaut

    I started with very easily achievable goals and build on that. I had 5 daily goals at the beginning. If I achieved 2 of them, I considered day success and gradually build on them.
    Strijder likes this.
  13. learning

    learning Fapstronaut

    Interesting, I had not heard of "ego fatigue".

    In my case, I will be 53 in a couple of weeks. I have lived with this PMO addiction all my life. It is difficult to care anymore. The PMO addiction is a problem, but it is not the central problem. It is the depression/anxiety/low self esteem that spawns the other problems. Of course the other problems take a life of their own after they are spawned. I might have some trauma in my childhood. I have always had a couple of fragmentary memories that suggest sexual arousal or activity around various adults, but they don't make sense. They don't bother me, but I wonder why they are in my brain. They have always been there, and maybe they are only confabulations. I suppose anything truly traumatic would be remembered clearly regardless of age. ... Anyway it doesn't matter at this point in my life. Just a curiosity mainly.

    Some people are probably doomed by genetics to face a rough road psychologically. My lot in life hasn't been entirely bad either. I had good parents. I had an easy time in school academically. I have never been so short on money that I suffer real hardship. ... I have never been married or had to deal with some crazy woman in long term relationship LOL :)
    Last edited: Aug 18, 2019
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  14. DerSchütze

    DerSchütze Fapstronaut

    The chaser effect can make it hard to get a good streak started, usually takes me about a week to get back on the path after a full on relapse.
    level81rat and Deleted-Account like this.

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