I started porn when I was a kid as curiosity and it developed into this bad obssesive compulsive addiction. Even when I didn’t want to watch porn I would watch it.After that I would regret it and say “Why am I doing this I dont wanna do this.Why just can’t I stop,I have a girlfriend I don’t want this”.When I realised the addiction and what was going on,I started NoFap immediately.I fought it hard and I succeded. When I told my girlfriend about it she told me that it was my fault.That if I had real love I wouldn’t have to fight it because it would have vanished by itself.She told me that: “wanting porn and enjoying it is your desire and your will.It doesn’t have to do with a problem or an addiction you just wanted other girls instead of me”.Even tho i loved her and I had no such intentions. Me myself feel like it was a psychological problem that I had no control over and that required awareness and very hardwork to overcome. Can someone tell me the truth? Is she right or am I right? Is it my fault or it is a psychological(subconscious) problem?
There are endless circumstances to each situation that determine why we engage in this addiction. My opinion is that bottom line, it is a decision we made, yes, however, there are usually underlying reasons that sort of drive us toward it. Its usually never just someone thinking, "Gee, I think today I'll start looking at porn, and I'm going to do it so much that I'll develop an addiction to it!!" As my therapist tells.me quite often, porn is absolutely an issue, but its not THE issue. Its usually a bad result of something else that happened. So I would guess that in this situation, she has some accuracy, but it sounds like she just kinda lashed out at you in anger because she was understandably hurt. You clearly made the decision to willingly and knowingly look at porn, but its usually not the case that someone looks at porn with the sole intention of hurting their SO.
