Is porn bad to a non-addict?

This is a question I would like to ask too. Being nofap for 20 sthg days, from time to time I still like to look up some porn stuff online, just that even watching those for maybe an hour or so, I still feel no need or any desire to m, which sometimes I feel weird about this. I still enjoy watching porn but just don't feel like m about it.

I don't know if it's addicted or flatlining or if I really lost sexual interests in porn.

 

i guess so. Last time i used porn i started imaging myself like a man who's spying other people's intimacy and that made me feel weird

 

I might or might not be alone with this opinion, but I'd say No.

I am almost certain, that a non-addicted person, who watches porn every once in a while, can (and probably will) function without problems in his everyday life.

In my opinion the problems of porn use do not lie in porn per se, but rather in the compulsive usage. Just like alcohol: A person, who drinks once a month probably won't feel or act different than he would anyways. But if you drink a lot, your life will suffer. Same with porn, if you ask me.

Of course by watching porn - no matter how often - you create a demand for filmed prostitution and human traffic. So from this perspective, it would still be a good idea to cut it out completely.

If don't feel comfortable by being part of a system of abuse, you should stop anyways. If you don't care about this, you're really not addicted and you're sure, that you are not in danger of addiction (this is a tricky one as you probably won't notice it), there is nothing wrong with watching porn in my opinion.

However, most people on this forum are heavily addicted and must stay away from porn completly.

 

This is something debated on here a lot. I’m female and I think the answer is no it’s not bad for everyone but many strongly disagree. It’s hard on a site like this because everyone has had negative experiences and to even conduct a research study is difficult because you can’t find s control group of men who don’t use porn to compare it to.

I am 40 and I’ve had many prior relationships where the men I was with watched porn solo and we watched together. There were several differences though from when I dated a pmo addict. First the non addicts were not secretive or ashamed of their use they were open with me about it. Addicts keep secrets. So I think if you are not sure if you are an addict ask yourself would you be okay with telling your partner that you pmo and how often? If not then you likely have a problem with pmo. Second the non addicts never had performance issues in bed do to pmo. Third they preferred sex with me and did not turn me down for porn . Fourth they did not treat me like an object and were not emotionally void.

If you would have asked me before I met my ex pmo addict if I cared if my partner used porn or not I would have said absolutely not and laughed if you mentioned pmo addiction I had never heard of such a thing. Now that I know I certainly will always ask Early on about a potential partners porn use but will I not date a man who watches porn ? Of course not but I will be aware of what a pmo addict looks and acts like and run for the hills if I see signs.

I see porn addiction like alcoholism meaning many people can use it in moderation and be fine. Others see it like crack or meth or which almost everyone becomes addicted. But just like an alcoholic can’t drink a drop a pmo addict can NEVER use porn again so no you are not in reboot if you keep looking at porn everyone once in awhile.

Are you a pmo addict? If you are asking yourself that question if you are on this site than 99 percent of the time the answer is yes you are an addict. Non addicts don’t walk around asking if they are addicts? A person who is asking has had some negative experience with the substance to cause them to ask.

I am not a doctor but some questions I think people should ask themselves. Why do you pmo? At the time before you begin watching are you stimulated or are you sad tired bored angry? If you pmo to deal with emotions chances are you are an addict. Second can you stop without any issues and how long can you avoid that substance? Try 90 days and you will see. Third does your use cause you to have ED with real women and need pmo to n stimulated? Fourth do your prefer porn to real relationships? Fifth do you avoid relationships? Sixth has your use effected your job or personal life? Fifth how often do you use? And finally has someone you love asked you to stop and you can’t?

The amount of time you spend watching porn does not determine whether you are an addict or not just like binge drinkers don’t drink daily it’s the relationship that you have with the substance. Sadly most men don’t figure out they have an issue until they get into a relationship and by then it’s a very difficult problem to correct. They have made their sex lives with a screen and their hand and have a very hard time transitioning into o actual sex which is a lot different.

So if you suspect you have a problem Chances are that you do so cut it out entirely and you will love a much happier and healthier life and if you are single your future wife thanks you now.

 

I'm certainly no addictions expert (although looking at my own sizeable portfolio of past and present addictions, you'd think I ought to be by now!), but if you substituted 'porn' with eg. 'heroin', you'd end up with "Is heroin bad to a non-addict?" - is that somehow an easier question to answer?

AFAIK, few addictive activities or substances are 'bad' in and of themselves, it's their addictiveness which is the problem. If you could smoke a cigarette, say, only every couple of weeks, you really couldn't do too much harm to yourself even over an entire lifetime of smoking (probably get more toxins breathing in polluted air). But how many smokers do you know who make a pack of 20 last a year? Usually the way it works is, things start fairly innocently, and by the time you first realise you're hooked, it's too late to back-paddle, because by definition you're now hooked. And to keep your addiction happy, bigger and badder hits are needed, and that's how you end up with the three-packs-a-day habit which you're still in denial about when your doctor tells you what you thought was a persistent cough is actually terminal and you've got about a month to say your good-byes and generally get your affairs in order. (OK, I exaggerate slightly for dramatic effect, but only slightly.)

Personally, I wish I had never scored the first fix of anything that went on to become an addiction.

 

Well, I am with you and your points are well made.

 

I think the difference here is you liken pmo to a drug like crack or heroin. I agree that almost every person that uses those drugs will become addicted if they continue to use no question about that. I think however porn is more like alcohol or a food addiction. With those substances most people can use them in moderation but some can’t. The substances themselves are not inherently bad for everyone. But if you asked a family of an alcoholic if they felt it was bad for everyone they most likely would say yes and so would an alcoholic in recover most likely. The reason I think is two fold, first they have had a horrible experience with the substance and maybe never knew anyone who could use it in moderation. You mention that you suffer from or have in the past suffered many addictions. So I would submit to you that it may be difficult for you to imagine how the brains of non addicts work. Addicts often can’t fathom a world of where they don’t fight cravings or are able to use their drug of choice without consequences. Personally I have known many men that have used porn and are not addicts and I actually think that’s the majority of people so I do have the perspective of seeing that. The second reason is if the substance is inherently bad for Everyone then it’s not the fault of addict for becoming addicted because everyone who uses the substance gets addicted. Seeing that substance as the problem not the behavior is a way that addicts justify and rationalize. Families of addicts do this too. Tied in with that is the idea that it the substance is so horrible that it should be banned that would make things a lot easier. Example let’s lobby to ban porn. If porn is banned then the temptation for the addict is gone. Porn like alcohol is everywhere and it’s use even in excess is seen as normal behavior. We all likely encounter some porn or form of it on a daily basis and if not we have very easy access the same is true to alcohol. I pass 5 bars and 3 liquor stores on my three mile commute to work! But when a substance is illegal whole of course you can still get it it takes a lot more work. Finally I hear this a lot on this board that many pmo addicts think it’s unfair that there are many people who can continue to view porn with no problems. It angers them. So living with the idea that no they really can’t do that they will eventually become addicted gives them some comfort that it’s not them it’s Everyone but of course that’s just not true.

Awareness of the addictive powers of pmo needs to receive so much more focus than it does by the medical field and people especially young people must be educated. But taking the approach of a ban or demonizing the substance won’t work any more than prohibition did. People look at you and laugh and call you a religious zealot who btw no one listens to. And the people that we are trying to convince and change are often not addicts who have a relationship with the substance that is healthy.

 

Well, I do not think watching porn could be good in any circumstance, really. However, I am of the opinion that between that and an addiction there is some space indeed. Having considered that, though, when someone says they like to watch porn from time to time or considers himself or herself non-addict, I say that is a problematic position, I considered myself a non-addict for years while I was still hooked up on gaming, PMO, etc. all day long.

I find that @Sheepishly makes a nice remark when he says he has lost sexual interest in porn. This could mean either two things: you find porn boring but you just watch it anyways, or porn in itself makes you feel pleasure without masturbating. I do not think this is directly an addict's behaviour, but if you waste an hour of your day watching things that won't help you, no matter how you see it, there is something to think about. I do not think "casual" porn could be some kind of goal, especially for addicts but for everyone else really, many of who are not aware that they are addicted (I know many of those). There is no good side effect of watching porn, even the "relaxation" or "beauty" or whatever you might see in those images or videos are going to give you problems in the long run, you will lose focus, you will have a craving to go and watch it (I think you indeed have some cravings nonetheless), you will lose time and your mind would be tired for nothing.

And of course, @Rob_B_ gets the point too, one porn session every 10 or 20 days is not going to destroy your life, but the addictive potential is there, and as I said, even if it is not really bad (when comparing it to other things), it still has some problems. Watching porn hinders your progress, and this is no joke, there is a real qualitative transformation once you go past 30-60-90-120 days, I felt it, and if you do not take this journey as a whole lifestyle change, things might stay the same.

One last question to Sheepishly: Why is porn so important that you waste a whole hour on it and have to rationalize its use so much? This is what worries me a little about that kind of "I am not addicted" arguments.

Greetings.

 

IMHO porn is bad for everyone always. For low frequency users the negative effects are subtle and hard to see in a culture that normalizes porn. I always felt guilty when I watched porn and planned to give it up. I didn't think I was addicted because I would go a month or two without it then binge for a few days. I never knew how much PMO affected me until now. After nearly 4 months PM free I have a mental and emotional clarity that I've never felt before. My old preferences and insecurities have faded. I will never watch porn again and would recommend the same to anyone.

 

Did you enjoy watching it for the first time? This is how you should feel when you are clean of mind.

 

escape this poison until it's too late.

 

I'm not yet addicted but why do i feel that I am doing something bad whenever I watch porn?

 

This was a really big thing for me. Having a clear mind, I saw the way people in porn were treated. A majority of the people are not having a good time. Whether it be in the video itself or in their lives that brought them to the lifestyle they are living. I'm sure there are some people who don't mind the lifestyle, but there's still a lot of bad there. And the issue with escalation is that it just continues to get more and more extreme. I wrote about this in another post, about how things that are considered "hardcore" are actually pretty violent and dangerous. But people just view it as so NORMAL now. It's not. But we don't see this when we are wrapped up in it. The age of the girls is getting younger and younger...even if they are of legal age, what they are depicting are younger and younger girls. Escalations leads to a lot of dangerous areas.
I didn't think I was an addict before I met my current girlfriend. I was fine using it and even talked to her about it. We even tried watching it together once (was one of the worst experiences of my life). Eventually, she found out I was doing it in secret, which upset her pretty badly. At the time, I didn't think it was a serious problem, but I stopped because she didn't like it. Then, a few months later, I found myself doing it every once in a while again. Telling her I didn't need it anymore, I was happy without it. But every so often...why was I going back? Then when she found out about it again and the things I had been doing behind her back...I took a long look at myself. The pain I caused her TWICE. The woman I love more than anything else in the entire world. I couldn't stop doing something my best friend asked me to stop doing. It's not that I didn't want to stop. I just couldn't. But I didn't think about it like that. I didn't think I was addicted.
Then I joined here. And I never plan on going back.

 

Yes, before learning all this about porn and porn addiction, I always thought "It looks like they are enjoying it, so how is it a bad thing to support it?". For a very long time I failed to see, that most of the porn actors and actresses are just that. Actors and actresses. They play joy and how "awesome" it is to be in porn. But if you take a closer look, you'll see the truth. Most of them aren't happy. A lot of them are addicted to drugs and alcohol, because they aren't able to stand the pain. Every once in a while a porn star, who allegedly enjoyed what they were doing, dies due to overdose. That is not suprising at all.

Another point is the following: Even if you assume, that every pornstar in the Top 1000 is truely happy and passionate - which is nowhere near the truth -, there are still hundreds of thousands of women and girls, who hate it and who are only doing it because they desperately need money or they were forced by a pimp/"boyfriend"/husband/... .

Porn is a multi-billion dollar industry. As long as the money keeps flowing, there will be a lot of men & women, who suffer. Some people call for better laws or prosecution, but let's be real here. You can change the law however you want; if the money is big, there will always people, who break it. So they only thing we can do, is to stop giving those people money. If we stop watching porn, the industry gets weaker.

 

because it is something bad. morally and phisically, to your brain. You are rewarding yourself for doing nothing, with a huge amount of dopamine. You can't know if you're addicted or not if you don't try quitting PMO for a while and see if you can live without it. My guess would be that you're not that hooked by Porn, but are probably dependent on Masturbation or Sex (Orgasm) like most people nowadays.