It was all going so well..

Welcome.

It wasn't going so well if you had PIED for three years and were hiding it from your girlfriend. You've had a long-term problem. You're going to have to understand that if you're up for the challenge of the long-term solution.

There are no quick fixes here. You're going to have to live differently forever. This means being honest, being vulnerable, being true to yourself and others.

Do not expect that you can fire up a counter and go for it and win. This has been a problem for you for a long long time and it's going to take a long long time to get out of it. I say this not to give you the tough love treatment or discourage you, but so that you will learn to be patient with yourself, to treat yourself with some kindness and self-love as you go through this process, to help you have faith in yourself when you fall down.

You're going to need to do more than quit porn, too. You're going to need to look at your struggles with intimacy. This goes for your gf as well. I don't know any couples who have stayed together for three years (since the beginning) and never had sex except for religious reasons. This is an intimacy red flag for both of you.

Also, it sounds like you haven't told her what's been going on and what you're doing about it. You're going to have to do that if you expect the relationship to progress. You've probably told lies about why you have PIED. This probably scares the hell out of you. It should, you might lose her, she might break up with you. But she might not, you may be surprised. You will have to take that risk. If you don't, you will never have a good relationship with her and by not telling her, you are hurting her and you will hinder your own success. This _will_ come out. Better to hear it from you than for her to find out later in a traumatic (yes, traumatic) discovery.

And remember, whatever happens, however hard it may seem, you won't stop breathing, you will be ok.

I wish you the best in your recovery.

Peace,
-Quinn