Hello everyone! I'm joining Nofap today looking to rid myself of pornography addiction and the damage porn has done to the way I view and interact with women. A little of my story: I stumbled upon pornography at a friend's birthday party, when I was 10 years old I wasn't sure how they all knew about pornography but, while I was somewhat sickened by what they were doing, I was curious. I saw some snippets of the images they were looking at on the computer, learning at that time that I was very fond of unclothed women (to put it modestly) and that I too might be able to access pornography from my computer at home. Long story short, we were caught, and my friend's parents were not happy. However, they never called my parents to let them know what had happened, so my parents were unaware of this incident for years until I told them what had happened. Fast forward to that summer, and I was more curious than ever. I would look up "tame" images and immediately click out of them, my heart thumping vast in my chest, my vision blurry, and my palms sweaty. Then I would immediately feel a wave of shame and guilt wash over me and consume my previous desire for pornography. "Never again", I said. Famous last words. As the years went by and my curiosity grew, I no longer experienced the guilt and shame I once had every time I searched up pornographic content. The shame was mostly gone, the guilt destroyed, but my satisfaction sank, and my healthy sexual desires turned more deviant. As we all know, what once was so tantalizing when we were "new" in our addiction becomes "child's play". We become compelled by our lusts to search out more images, more videos, and more vapid relationships between ourselves and a plate of glass. And here I am now, 11 years later, ready to say goodbye to porn. I had just gone about 21 days without porn, but messed up only a few hours ago. But I'm back on my horse, and I'm hopeful that this community will help me rid myself of pornography addiction and delve into newfound freedom!
Hi Ajax, Don't give up man, 21 days is a good strike, A lot of addicts relapsed many times before quitting PMO for ever so, Stay strong, come back to the track fast and avoid the reasons that made you relapsed, I hope you all the best mate in your journey.
