Journal of beating PAWS/Flatline!

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by sikreodds97, Aug 13, 2020.

  1. Rexbrent

    Rexbrent Fapstronaut

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    hi any views , weather we can have sex as much we want after recovery ?
     
  2. Different Built

    Different Built Fapstronaut

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    I thought I had to wait for all of those things to happen too. Relapsed twice today because on day 116 still depressed and anxious and have Anhedonia. This flatline lasted for almost 2 months. I pmoed for 2-2.5 years every few days. I’m sorry, I just can’t believe that I could still be having PAWS symptoms 4 months in when I PMOed from ages 17-19 infrequently. I had a few few day long flatlines before this one which would make more sense but then my brain just snapped. Wondering if I have hyper chronic stress because I pushed myself so hard in school last semester
     
  3. Different Built

    Different Built Fapstronaut

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    Maybe I was doing something wrong. However, after a few short flatlines, I felt rewired in every way mentally on day 58 as far as attraction to girls and all benefits. I didn’t think I needed another 2+ month flatline to rewire. I don’t feel like there was that much damage done. Maybe I’m wrong, but it’s hard to say, there’s very little research on this so we may never know. It’s a depressing situation, I don’t know what to do. When I pmoed I was still social and happy most of the time. Now I was in the dumps after 116 days when I didn’t even feel that addicted. Idk what to do
     
  4. sikreodds97

    sikreodds97 Fapstronaut

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    Withdrawal can take some time man, dont give up :)
     
  5. sikreodds97

    sikreodds97 Fapstronaut

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    The way i view it. After recovery if we want the magical semen retention benefits we stay off sex. If we want a "normal" life that is okay we have sex and ejaculate(Still thousand times better than flatline or PMO). If we want a mix then we do sex without ejaculation(karezza, NEO, etc)
     
    Rexbrent likes this.
  6. sikreodds97

    sikreodds97 Fapstronaut

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    Day 154: Had a wet dream this morning. Think its about a month or 6 weeks since my last one. Feeling okay about it, feeling pretty ok today which i sometimes do after a wet dream. Soon to be on 5 months. 10 months if you count 1 MO i had inbetween. I probably need a year more to start seeing consistent benefits, well idk. Its been such a long time but then again a relapse could have really slowed my paws down. Anyways life wont get better if i go back to my ways. Lets just see if this Semen retention journey can end up fixing all these PAWS symptoms im going through. More motivated than ever
     
  7. sikreodds97

    sikreodds97 Fapstronaut

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    Day 160: Another BIG wet dream. Dont know how i feel about wet dreams, sometimes i feel good after them, but never after a relapse. Could they be healing?
     
  8. sikreodds97

    sikreodds97 Fapstronaut

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    Day 177: Nearly on month 6. Symptoms have been pretty harsh and consistent this whole streak. No good days for so long. Im 70 percent sure its paws and 30 percent sure its some underlying shit. It just dont add up to me. Felt way better before my addiction, was heavily addicted and stopped and got superpowers everytime i stopped before paws hit. Its gotta be paws but i must be one hell of a case. Or maybe my healing has just stopped. shit man. Anyways only one way to find out and that is to keep going. I need to fix my diet too tho and exercise schedule and meditation. It eases symptoms a bit when i do that. Life is hard, but i trust the divine plan! I will get the nofap superpowers/benefits back.
     
    Anonymous86 likes this.
  9. sikreodds97

    sikreodds97 Fapstronaut

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    185: Got hit with a huge paws wave last night. Severe depression and anxiety. Woke up a little better. Life hits hard but i will hit harder. I fried my brain with weed and PMO, i think i have payed back for all the years of addiction. Surely it must get better soon. However i trust the divine timing!
     
    FpsMato likes this.
  10. sikreodds97

    sikreodds97 Fapstronaut

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    Day 189: Been having a really tough wave of depression and anxiety and ocd like symptoms for the past 5 days. Feeling a tiny tiny bit better today.
     
    FpsMato likes this.
  11. Bright Man-02

    Bright Man-02 Fapstronaut

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    Hi Dude, I hope you're doing better now?
     
  12. sikreodds97

    sikreodds97 Fapstronaut

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    I had 6 hours of feeling pretty good a couple days ago. It dissapeared in the morning. Its so random what the healing process is like. Today i feel pretty bad and stressed over work. It truly sucks man, it feels like im stuck in this hell forever
     
  13. Bright Man-02

    Bright Man-02 Fapstronaut

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    that's not nice to hear my Man.

    the reason I came to your Journal, is that I'm also in a very similar situation to yours.
    I'm 22 now, and I started PMO when I was 15, and I quit PMO in Dec 2017, since then I had a lot of relapses and also great streaks (4months, 5 months, 4 months, 2 months) and now 117 days in. I had multiple streaks of 4,12, 30 days... etc

    but I'm still in Flatline, in fact I'm in Flatline before even I start the journey, but it's now very intense, and it's been 3 months since I took break from work because of my brain fog and lethargic, I can't work because I'm software developer and the brain fog makes impossible to concentrate.

    I just want to know someone who has been there and got out of it. if this state is permanent then we're finished man :(
     
  14. wfcasdvwervdsv

    wfcasdvwervdsv Fapstronaut

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    My story is similar to yours, I'm on day 155 now after initially starting nofap in 2018. If it is infact PAWS that we have then it is highly unlikely the state is permanent, my anxiety is so high that I'm constantly believing I have some other horrific neurological disorder instead! There are many stories of people beating PAWS from porn, just have to go digging on this site and the nofap subreddit. I'm sure you will recover soon, make sure to post your success story when you do!
     
  15. sikreodds97

    sikreodds97 Fapstronaut

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    I have the exact same worries. I keep telling myself that i will come out of it soon, but it just seem to get worse and not better :( But all the paws recovery stories, people taking 2-3 years hard mode to recover. It gives me hope man, and i will never stop having that hope. I believe semen retention has so many benefits, if we are on long term semen retention and feel awful, surely it must be our brain and body healing. I think we will make it out but relapsing seems to fuck up the process. We need to leave it behind
     
    Freeddom_Taker likes this.
  16. Bomb squad

    Bomb squad Fapstronaut

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    Arrrrr bro this is probably one of the hardest thing about this journey the mindset that you won’t get better from paws just the amount of uncertainty is horrible but I promise you you will get better no feeling is final just don’t relapse and keep pushing you will get better there is hope. Wish you the best bro I know how tough this shit is.
     
    sikreodds97 likes this.
  17. Anonymous86

    Anonymous86 Fapstronaut

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    How are you feeling? Better?
     
  18. Bomb squad

    Bomb squad Fapstronaut

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    Slightly definitely still not where i want to be but hoping for the best in the next few months as I’m about to enter my 17 months hard mode but miles better from when I first started.
     
  19. Anonymous86

    Anonymous86 Fapstronaut

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    What has changed exactly in nearly 500 days for you? Do you get erections? Are your mental/emotional symptoms improving?
     
  20. Bomb squad

    Bomb squad Fapstronaut

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    Jesus where to start pretty much everything has changed wet dreams are significantly reduced they barely bother me now compared to the first 6 months they were horrible and there was no pattern with them happened very often sometimes and aggravated my symptoms a lot my cognitive impairment is a lot better even tho still quite along way to go don’t have completely soul crushing anxiety anymore sleep is a little bit better random erections and morning wood is back although not linear to be honest the biggest improvement recently is my emotional health I’m not depressed off my ass everyday I’m somewhat functional although any stress just completely fuck me over so yeah but to be honest I’m not expecting to be fully back for a good few months.
     
    Anonymous86 likes this.

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