Just made my furthest streak. My tips so far

Hey all. Long story but skip down to the bottom for the tips if you don't want context. Been relying on porn twice a day for 9 years or so. Finally lost virginity to real girl a few months ago but had a medium quality erection and was unable to O.

This happened several times and luckily I was aware of this movement and decided to start nofap. My PMO habits became reinforced through a particular fetish kind of porn and ALWAYS lying on my back. I also developed a fast masturbation technique. - This made real sex unnatural and different to what I was used to.

So we have a case where not only am I addicted to PMO but I have conditioned myself to only O in a certain position by myself.

Anyway was able to achieve several streaks that looked like (in days) 4,5,3,3,5,5 and now recently 8 (the only reason I relapsed wasn't due to a strong urge but having a really shitty day (family tragedy) that while was a relapse wasn't a straight up giving in to the urges.

ANYWAY the tips that got me feeling hopelessly stuck on 4ish days to an easy 8 that should have been a 9 and beyond....

TIPS

- SET TIME LIMIT FOR APPS ON PHONE - I found I was weakest at controlling my urges either late at night unable to sleep or in the morning before my willpower had fully woken up. Mine is set on my phone from 1am to 8am. This way even if a powerful urge hits me its no use as I literally can't access P. I RECOMMEND adding a security code to this change then writing it on a piece of paper and put it in your car or something so you can't disable it easily.

- MAKE SURE YOU STAY OUT OF THE ROOM YOU USUALLY PMO IN - eg your bedroom. Stay out of that room until you are literally so tired you fall on the bed and go to sleep. No point hanging around in there while your brain tries to convince you to take a quick look.

- COUNT LOOKING UP NON NUDE PICS AS A RELAPSE - This is how your brain will trick you into a relapse. "surely non nude is fine" WRONG Dont do it.

- NOTICE HOW AND WHEN YOUR URGES COME - I realized on this last streak that while I am addicted to P I was also addicted to the concept of PMOing to reduce anxiety. (Sound familiar to any of you?) Read books about anxiety if you have to and find a more healthy way to deal with that build up of pressure feeling.

- REINFORCE THE IDEA THAT THE URGES ARE TEMPORARY - Much like anxiety by realizing exactly what it is and ignoring it they pass quicker. Once they pass you realize that the urges were MEANINGLESS. In many cases you feel great after resisting an urge.

- EDUCATE YOURSELF - If you really want this (which is tricky because we do and we don't at the same time) educate yourself on how the human brain works and why sometimes you are able to resist and urge and sometimes not. For example I relapsed today after receiving some difficult news about a family member. Had this not have happened I am confident I would still be on my streak. Unsurprisingly in times of emotion our animal instincts kick in more and its harder to think rationally about our wider goals.

- FIND WHAT HELPS DISTRACT YOU - Personally I have found cold showers to be ineffective to me. Maybe I should be a Navy Seal haha but I don't find a cold shower that much of a shock or a difficult task. BUT if it works for you use it. I did find MEDITATION partially useful. I'm no spiritual hippie and I was skeptical of meditation initially. However I have since found daily 10 min meditation to help slightly. The whole point of it is to strengthen your ability to refocus your mind away from thoughts. Since starting I have found myself quicker to stop and refocus dangerous thoughts of PMO. Approach it with an open mind and there is no need to get all spiritual haha.

- THINK OPTIMISTIC - Beat yourself up for the first few days if you must but keeping an overall positive "I can do this" attitude helps rather than counting the days thinking "Oh please let me make it to day x etc"
--------- IF YOU FAIL --------------------

- RELAPSE IN A NON FAMILIAR WAY - Maybe not for all of you but I have conditioned myself to PMO on my back which is unhelpful for real sex. IF YOU ARE ABOUT TO RELAPSE do it in a different position/room. I have no evidence yet (perhaps others could report) but I'm sure this helps with conditioning etc.

- DO NOT BINGE - If you relapse try your hardest to keep it to just one relapse. Its far easier to feel better about yourself again and keep a streak up after one PMO rather than 4 for example. FIGHT THE CHASER WITH ALL YOUR MIGHT.

- TRY TO LEARN FROM IT - eg how did i fail, i should block this website, i should remove this app etc


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My results from roughly of attempting nofap and reducing frequency to twice a week rather than twice a day on average.....

- Happier and more productive
- Deeper voice and more confident around people.
- LESS anxious and depressed. Its not a cure for these things but it helps a lot.
- LESS interest in Porn in general. After a few streaks Porn goes from seeming necessary and normal to being pointless and unnatural.
also try not to count the days only the milestones and don't get cocky.


Thanks for reading and I wish y'all the best on your journey.