Lack of sexual identity!!

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by scjguy, Nov 5, 2019.

  1. scjguy

    scjguy Fapstronaut

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    Hi, guys!
    Summarizing my case: addicted since 11 yo, first sex at 18 yo, have had ED all my life.
    Now, over 10 months no P, but continued M and O to sex or fantasies in my mind. I no longer crave porn.
    HOWEVER, I decided to stop M, O, sexting and exchanging nudes altogether 20 days ago.
    Now, I feel completely "empty" in terms of where I'm gonna get my pleasure from. Feels like my brain is desperately looking for something to fantasize about, and the idea of real sex doesn't turn me on at all. Any time I accidentally come across some half-nudity image, my penis twitches and I feel that area getting warm. Is this part of the healing? For those who are recovered, are we supposed to feel like this??
     
    Last edited: Nov 5, 2019
    Dan9876 likes this.
  2. Yes. Your brain has rewired itself to seek pleasure from real people not digital person! Congrats
     
    scjguy likes this.
  3. Go have some sex with girls bang them!lol! Don't masturbate or watch porn that's it don't seek orgasm from digital or imagination...
     
    Get_It likes this.
  4. Alyx87

    Alyx87 Fapstronaut

    The emptiness of recovery... absolutely hate it. You feel like you've lost something and there's nothing to go in that place. It might also be the flatline because you're round about that time. Read up on it. Notice that the flatline though not pleasant is also your friend as it helps you to abstain. Would you rather be getting strong cravings 5 times a day?

    It's always said that recovery needs to go with implementing healthy habits. Working out and meditation are number one. Have you tried either? It looks like you might need something to look forward to during the day.
     
    scjguy likes this.
  5. egil

    egil Fapstronaut

    Im wrestling with this issue to. I feel empty too. What now? Lay down in bed never to rize?
    I think/hope that as we heal we can get more and more dopamine from going fishing, interacting with girl (and the dopamine comes from the talk), engaging in hobbies, walks in nature... Remember, as a kid, going to that big toy store? Major dopamine rush!
    We probably never will be able to reach that extreme dopamine rush high speed interent porn can give us but that is what we are trying to quit. Think life is to be filled with many small rushes.
    I try to remember who I realy am, who was that kid in the beginning. What did he like? What could I like? And do those things and hope thoes will become more rewarding down the road.
     
    Alyx87 likes this.
  6. DerSchütze

    DerSchütze Fapstronaut

    You don't NEED sexual pleasure, don't worry about it. Also, I've heard it takes about a year or two to fully reboot, so be careful with the pleasure seeking.
     
  7. Leo128

    Leo128 Fapstronaut

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  8. Leo128

    Leo128 Fapstronaut

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    Hey buddy, so I’m pretty new, this is essentially day 1 of my reboot.. obviously your post was quite a while ago now, have you found your ED has improved with the steps you took? I’ve been looking at porn most of my life and find it difficult to maintain in real intercourse, definitely in need of a rewrite..
     
  9. scjguy

    scjguy Fapstronaut

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    Unfortunately, no, I haven't reaped the benefits because I keep relapsing to M with fantasies. I know, it sucks.
     
  10. Leo128

    Leo128 Fapstronaut

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    Ahhh man I’m sorry, I guess we’re all on a learning curve here and It must be a small consolation that you’ve relapsed with fantasies and not porn. On the spectrum of relapses that must be the healthier of the two..
     
  11. scjguy

    scjguy Fapstronaut

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    Definitely, that's why I don't beat myself up too much. Well, a new streak begins haha
     

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