Well this weekend was really fun. I went and watched that new Jurassic World movie and it was pretty good. I'm looking at my counter and it's only been 5 days since my relapse but it feels a like a lot longer which I don't know if it's good or bad. I've been just diving into different things and been loving life for the past 5 days. I've been reading from different books everyday, studying music, and I just wrote an entire song over the weekend. Been a good last few days. I did a few things out of my comfort zone that really made me feel proud of myself, really feel like a man. I also did a ton of yardwork. A good few hours worth. Keeping things clean has really been like a medidation session for me. I can just breathe easier when things are clean. So it's been nice getting everything cleaned up and really doing what I want to do and what my stupid BRAIN wants to do ha. I wanna get on my soapbox for a second and talk about something and that something is overcoming the temptation to always be comfortable. Man if you are in the US, you got it made. I've been to a few other countries here and there and we really do have it all. It's so easy to get complacent. We got smart phones that can entertain us whenever we please, we got TV, internet, fast food, etc... Everything is pretty much seconds away from us, we really don't have to suffer or if we do, it's only for a small period of time. We also become lazy because of this. Really lazy.. So this weekend I experienced a feeling that I overcame and it's been awhile since I had one of these chances. My wife's dad has a bad back and now he can no longer mow the lawn. He's got a lot of property and it takes 3 hours to mow it with a mower you ride on. So my wife gets a call and she asks me if I can mow the lawn for him. I had maybe 5 hours of sleep at that point since I work nights and I was really just wanting to say, "Nah I'll do it in a couple days." But I didn't. I thought about it, and then the more I thought about it, the more I would not want to do it so I just said yes. I went over there and after the first 20 mins of mowing I wasn't even tired and my wife told me all day how proud she was of me. It felt good. But what even felt better was that I overcame myself. A couple weeks ago I wrote about my cliff jumping experience and how good it felt to conquer fear. This time I think I even felt better conquering laziness. Maybe I shouldn't call it laziness cuz I wasn't really being lazy by not doing it but... point is: I did something good that I really didn't want to do. The lazy part of me was saying, "ehhh put it off, rest, you're tired." But I did it anyways and it felt good. I think this is the main reason why I am feeling pretty good right now. I dunno maybe I'm flatlining haha. But in all reality the feeling of confidence and satisfaction I had within myself was a great feeling and it kinda made me think, "Oh yeah, this is how it feels to resist laziness and go against the bodies natural tendencies to take the easy way out." Find something that you've been putting off, or don't want to do, and go do it and gain that great feeling of satisfaction. It's worth it.
