Let the journey commence

Yes, your'e right. My brain fog has noticeably decreased since Saturday, yet I have been in this position way too many times to realise that its my brain deceiving me. The reality is that I still am nowhere near to the clear mindset I am trying to achieve. I am slightly more motivated, yet today I woke up realising I haven't got much time to finish my university projects and assignments, so my stress and panic levels have escalated. Usually, this is another cue for me to give into PMO but I am trying my very best to fight it! Thanks for the advice pal!

 

been the hardest day yet, on the verge of relapse as I once again gave into the chat sites. Going to attempt to clear my mind with a long walk.

 

Day 8 No PMO: Im surprised I made it through last night, after clearning my head with some fresh air I yet again resorted to chat sites, yet plucked up the courage to hide my phone and go to bed, which was difficult as major insomnia crept in. Today I have had serious mind fog and am struggling to even concentrate for 10 seconds,

Anyway enough of the excuses, on with the day.

 

Day 9 No PMO: So the last two days have been extremely difficult, my urges were getting the better of me on a number of occassions, yet I managed not to relapse. I have begun to realise that chat sites are as much of a problem for me as actual porn, I can create fantasies in my own head just through sexual conversations with another person, which takes away the need for me to see porn. Although I was close to exploding, I managed to override it by restraining myself from touching myself, even though I would find my hand on my penis without even consciously being aware at times!

I more positive today, and although brain fog still continues to be a presence, it definitely is not as bad as it usually is straight after a reset.

 

Evening : boredom and lack of emotion ... Feel flat right now and also feel extremely lethargic.. No real urges today, just feel detached from reality

 

Day 11 No PMO: Almost gone 1 week without MO'ing.
Today I feel content, yet sexual urges are creeping back in once again.
I have a workload which requires me to use my laptop, so I am finding it difficult to concentrate for long periods of time.

 

Day 12: today had been pleasant.
I rewarded myself for hitting the 10 day mark yesterday by meeting up with friends and blowing off steam with a few drinks. Today my mood has been mellow, not as anxious as normal and ruminations have been less frequent today.

Haven't even thought about looking at P or MOing today, although I have had he odd sexual thought whenever i have seen a pretty lady out and about .

 

Its almost afternoon and my urges have crept right back into me. Sex is all on my brain and I cant get it out!

 

Damn,, My head feels likes its going to explode..

 

Day 14: Morning- Mind is spinning, I am finding it difficult to control thoughts and feelings, emotions have become intense. No urges this morning, yet I am finding it difficult to focus on one specific task as my mind is feeling neurotic.

 

Day 15: So made it past the 2 week mark without looking at porn! Yesterday was the most I've felt energised in a while, I had a super productive day after I was able to maintain my focus. My new workout scheme also helped my positive mood yesterday and I felt like genuine improvement is occurring. I am not getting ahead of myself however, all it takes it one spike to topple it all over, so I am being wary of any spontaneous urges that may occur.

 

Hi Guys,

Unfortunately I lost sight of goal last night and my cravings got the better of me. It was constant edging which led to a subtle O in the end, yet I concede that as defeat. My mood has definitely changed this morning and I feel deflated, in a more negative mindset and I feel this nostalgia of lethargy, which once used to be all too common. Whats important now is that I don't spiral out of control and I get my focus back, and try to beat my previous best of 15 days, which is the most I have ever gone in my entire life.

Thanks for the support guys!

 

Day 2: Urges trying to push their way through, yet I remain resillient.

 

Day 3: OK, so the urges were mild at the very least today, it seemed like my mind was playing a tug of war between states of despair and sexual urges. I actually feel better for conquering the day and now I am preparing for bed. No improvement in mood today, but I am just accepting my current mental state as the first step to change. After all, since I have joined there has definitely been a reduction in my average PMO per week. I have only been tempted by porn sites a couple of times, and haven't really looked back since the last P reset 18 days ago. I actually have felt no real urge to even click on porn sites since. Yet, I must concede I have edged occasionally in the last few weeks. Edging for me usually accompanies visits to chat sites , which have lead to around 3 MO's in the last 3 weeks. Edging is something I am aiming to completely cut on on this new streak, and having now gone 3 days without any sort of edging is definitely a step in the right direction.

I guess its good to view every day of abstinence as a victory, this process cannot be rushed and we will only succeed if we recognise the small progress we are making each day.