Lifelong battle with OCD, anxiety and mild depression

4 years since I started nofap, but i have relapsed maybe 10-15 times
and had sex during all this time. It’s still volatile I have up days and down days but I am feeling way better than before. I think hardmode is way better than softmode for faster reboot.

 

I just think that our addiction just makes that.
If it was true then every man on earth would be paranoid.

 

Sure, that’s a point of view. I think that those that have not abused porn/masturbation/sex do not have symptoms. However my personal experience showed me numerous times that ejaculation makes me mentally weak. It might not apply to everyone, in fact I know it for sure because my best friend watches porn and masturbates almost every day and is not paranoid or anxious at all.

 

How often would you say you ejaculate on a weekly basis?

 

Still not recovered due to frequent ejaculation from sex, but usually i notice symptoms fading after 3-4 weeks of retention. So my best advice would be to retain your semen and to accept all your thoughts and not get reassurance

 

No, I mean have sex without ejaculation. Fap without ejaculation f’s me up even more, I am anxious for days after edging (fapping without finishing). Just looking at 5 seconds of porn, I feel my brain betting anxious.

 

My OCD is mostly about deadly diseases. Any contact with a needle in a medical setting if I haven’t seen it open in front of my eyes, my brain inundates with what ifs(HIV mostly).My dog sniffed another dog and the other barked back without biting him, what if he did bite him and had rabies? So all kinds of scenarios like this that annoy me all the time. I can’t seem to say fuck it and shake it off. I notice even if i ejaculate from making love, I still feel like shit after and very weak mentally. I have no choice but to not ejaculate for a long time.

 

Hmm for me if I do fantasize, I get a bit anxious afterwards. It’s not as bad as watching porn, but still not good.

 

I am closing this thread and deleting my account as I am moving on with ny life. Nofap is real and its benefits are life changing. Stick to semen retention guys, it is all worth it. Short term pain for long term gain.

Best of luck!