Living With Parents - NEED SERIOUS ADVICE!

Alright guys you can look through my previous posts to get a gist of my life, it's basically been a mess and I've never had a hold of it due to PMO and also having quite a dysfunctional family didn't help.

Anyhow long story short I'm in my early 30s and even up until recently my life has been a joke just about a month ago I was at an all time low...smoking weed, started to fap again although the fap part only happened in the end of the low. Needless to say I had enough of it and wanted change for good. I've now gone almost 3 weeks without touching myself and as you all know the benefits and mindset changes are almost instant for me, my mental clarity has improved and all the rest of it but this is not what I'm here to discuss.

Here is the real discussion, I am 32, I work, I do all my own laundry/cleaning/chores pay for all my grocery etc basically like I'm living by myself the only issue is I'm in my parents house although they are not here my sister and her family are living here too and my parents come once a year for a few months which is cool with me as they're old now and I appreciate them more, however that voice in my head is telling me "only losers live at home past 30" and as much as I want to move out I can't financially justify it.

I live in London, work in London and earn lets say around £1.7/1.8k after tax. I have the option of doing more shifts if I need extra cash (at the cost of all my time 12-14hr days) but my job is also extremely soul crushing and dead end like the lowest entry type job, which is another problem I have. Like most nofappers or fappers I have a lot of dreams and aspirations I'm quite a talented guy in the artistic sense and would love to find a job in this kind of field but via my own business or services instead of lets say being a graphic designer or something for a company, I just don't want to work for someone and in my head I think living at my parents is the perfect time to do it but I've also been telling myself this for a decade anyway I'll try to put some numbers down to give you some understanding of the matter at hand....

Current Rent: 150
Average Rent of Room in London: 750-800 (unless you opt to live in a shithole)

Current Savings Per Month: £1,200-1,400
Savings Per Month Renting: £650-750

Reasons I Desire To Move
-Don't feel like a man
-Society and women especially look down upon a guy like me (huge reason for me)
-Feel like a manchild
-Feel like my life would maybe get better as I'd be forced to sink or swim

Reasons I Don't Want To Move
-Giving someone £800+ a month or more if I chose to live alone
-Similar to above, basically not saving as much
-I actually have medical bills that will cost me around £8,000-10,000 in total (dental and a varicose vein issue NHS refuse to fix despite it giving me blood clotting in lungs few years back)
-A loan with about £5,000 left to pay

If I was earning about £3,000 after tax I would happily move no problem, I have no desire to buy a house here as it's basically a complete joke and again I don't want to tie myself into my dead end job to pay for a house.

Basically to close it out guys I am at a loss, the culture I'm from also doesn't promote moving out and being independent so in my 20s I was basically to afraid to move or just thought I couldn't do it and on the other hand all my pressure is coming from what I think other people think, I even lie to girls and colleagues about my living situation.

 

Thank you for the response. I 100% agree I can't move out right this minute as I spunked all the savings I had by indulging in degenerate behaviour over the summer. I won't lie to you I don't have a clear goal of being an illustrator per-se, I'm at a stage where I'm into too many things and would like to develop one of them into a career whether it be in the arts or fitness or something completely different. I just know I need something fulfilling to do as a job instead of the braindead dead end job I have now, I've seen how that turns out as my dad chose to do a dead end job despite being very talented and he was completely miserable.

Yeah I have a friend who was handed a flat, never had to pay anything just given a flat by his parents...me or my siblings never had this luxury for whatever reasons and that last part about western society is the exact reason I am feeling this shame and mainly from women but then I know I am also choosing not to have a relationship despite interest from women because of this very reason...nowhere to relax, do you know what and just have our own space.

I think I need to set a target and the most I can bare is to move out with one other guy and share a 2 bed flat, I really don't want to be sharing with 4/5/6 people I've seen how it is with friends and just not my thing.

 

No basically I just have the room I've been in my whole life and then i just use bathroom kitchen etc I dont spend time anywhere but my room if I'm at home...I have started to think the best option is to move but I would like some sort of stable career or job before I can, but also not sure if that is just another excuse to stay at my parents.

 

Yeah I sort of think the same thing as it's proven that you are forced to push yourself when uncomfortable. Now don't get me wrong I am working always, I take care of all my own stuff but I obviously have the safety of being at my parents and I have quite big aspirations (don't want to work my dead end job forever) so maybe moving will give me that confidence and help

 

Yes I'm Pakistani born in UK my family are not rich both my parents worked basic low end jobs, had a lot of problems at home when I was growing up so I naturally ended up down a neglected and bad sort of path in life obviously I'm a lot older now but yeah I don't know if I can justify it just yet giving more than half my pay to some landlord just so other people who are in financial ruin and lost in life don't think I'm a loser lol...I guess my question is answered.

 

@Khan azam I guess you are born in Pakistan but I don't think this is a good mentality to have, because the problem is our parents make us feel like little kids and treat you like kid also I still believe a man should have his own place but yeah for now will remain here

@jackcruiser800 yeah bro I been feeling this way since 20 and now look still here at 32, just try hard and save up money I wish someone told me this when I was 20....