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Looking for support from those who know

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Tao Jones, Aug 31, 2018.

  1. Aug 31, 2018 #1
    Tao Jones

    Tao Jones Fapstronaut
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    I've been battling porn addiction for 4-5 years now. It took my 20+ years to realize I even had a problem. Once I did, I got involved with a local AA-type group. It has been very helpful. I went for almost 18 months with no porn. But then I relapsed, and I have been having a hard time getting back on track.

    I've never had support from folks who struggle with pron the way I do. My local support know about addiction in general, but they're all drug/alcohol addicts, and there are some key differences between the two.

    I've let my local support group know that I am joining the NoFap community, and I'm hoping that regular support from a group of folks who know what porn addiction is like will be the missing ingredient I need for sustained long-term recovery from porn and the PMO cycle.

    I am a happily married straight male, if that matters. My wife knows about my addiction and is very supportive. I don't involve her in the hairy details, but my struggle is no secret from her.

    Really looking forward to meeting you all, getting started on my first "reboot," and joining with some of you in a more direct accountability group.

    Thanks for having me!
     
    Tao Jones, Aug 31, 2018
    Tao Jones, Aug 31, 2018
    #1
    Contentful T likes this.
  2. Aug 31, 2018 #2
    Contentful T

    Contentful T Fapstronaut

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    It is nice to have an understanding and supportive spouse. Consider yourself lucky for that. Some partners are not that way once they know.

    Having this, do not take it for granted thinking she is happy with you acting out with porn.

    I would advise focusing on addressing the compulsion through rigorous honesty.

    I know for me, having a screen nearby was like having a loaded crackstem or meth rocket blaster fully loaded right in the house when a powerful urge struck. Tbh I had to get them out of the house. Due to the biological nature of the urges, not picking up a device to act out with in the house was virtually impossible.

    I do have a history of lengthy sobriety and can attribute it to daily meditation and keeping active.

    Idleness and isolation drove me over the edge back into a vicious cycle of relapse.

    Also getting involved with sexualized media that was not porn pulled me back into it. That stuff is all over the internet these days.

    And people find it odd I only choose to use the internet away from home these days?
     
    Contentful T, Aug 31, 2018
    Contentful T, Aug 31, 2018
    #2
    Tao Jones likes this.
  3. Aug 31, 2018 #3
    Tao Jones

    Tao Jones Fapstronaut
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    Thanks, Trevor! One of the helpful things I have worked out with my family is that all electronic devices in our home are monitored with Accountable2You software, which records everything I do, every site I visit, every app I open, etc. These reports are sent to my local accountability group, with instant alerts going out for anything that seems to obviously be porn. I would not be able to be online at home at all without these safeguards in place. I am highly motivated to not be an annoying accountability partner with lots of pings going out to my group!

    Have you ever tried this sort of monitoring software? Do you currently have an accountability group of any kind? I'm curious to learn what has worked for others.
     
    Tao Jones, Aug 31, 2018
    Tao Jones, Aug 31, 2018
    #3

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