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SergioCon · Nov 28, 2023

here some insightful stuff from the forums

SergioCon · Nov 28, 2023

modern milarepa said: ↑

Well, crazy in the sense of trying to kill you with a knife. Faking her mother's death so you don't break up with her. Trying to poison you with arsenic little by little every day pouring it in your breakfast.

Or as I mentioned becoming the mistress of a man so you could be more close to his son which is your real crush
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modern milarepa said: ↑

Toxic, harmful craziness from a deluded person @OrganizeInformed
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SergioCon · Nov 28, 2023

Do all to the glory of God said: ↑

For me, in a nutshell, these things have helped:

1) Choose decisively to make a change.

It takes will-power. A half-hearted effort will never succeed. Make a choice and determinedly stick with it.

2) Control my thoughts.

I don't let myself even think about the thing I am choosing not to do. It is not an option, so why think about it. If you let yourself think about giving in to the temptation, it is a bit like trying to stop the car after it is already rolling down the mountain. Don't let it start rolling!

3) Avoid stimulants.

For me, this means spicy foods and eggs. As a vegetarian, I don't eat meat--but that would also be something to tone down on for at least the first month of changing one's sexual habits, since meat contains animal hormones which stimulate and increase desire. For those who drink, alcohol would be something to lay aside as well. Avoiding stimulants just makes it easier, but the real cure is in #1 and #2 above.

4) Don't compromise.

Don't assume that you can let yourself go part-way towards your temptation and yet keep yourself from crossing the line, or that you can quit gradually. Yes, this is a little like #2 above, but it differs in that it includes the idea of stopping completely all at once: it will simply not work to try to decrease the failures a little at a time until they disappear. With habits like this, cold turkey will usually work best. (There are some exceptions where one has heart problems and suffers severe withdrawal symptoms which can induce heart racing or palpitations. This rarely applies, especially to young people. Basically, if you think you're experiencing any issues of this nature, consult your physician.)

5) Keep busy!

Do something productive. Do not allow yourself to have idle time in which it will be more difficult to avoid letting your mind run in forbidden channels. Get some exercise outdoors. Spend time with friends. Go shopping. Clean your room or home. Etc.

I hope this helps.
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SergioCon · Nov 28, 2023

Do all to the glory of God said: ↑

I would offer the following suggestions:

1) Stopping one's actions without first stopping one's thoughts in that direction can never hope to succeed. It's like putting your finger over the end of the hose to stop the water instead of simply turning off the valve--eventually, the water will leak. The key is to consciously reject even the thought of doing something that you don't want to do. Don't let your mind dwell or fantasize on any sexual topic, be that the attractive person you just saw, or any thought about what or when you might like to do something you know you would later regret. If you don't let yourself even think about it, you'll have a hard time actually doing it.

2) Be aware that every time you have an unnecessary drain on the nervous system via sexual stimulation, the depletion of vital energy will cause a corresponding depression. You might feel like you cannot think about anything until you get it over with, but after you have indulged your guilty pleasure you will find that your mind is not truly operating at its best, and that you just traded one problem for another.

3) Until you've gone 3-4 weeks without succumbing to instant gratification, it will be a real challenge to keep your thoughts away from forbidden subjects. The suggestions of others here to do something that will distract you from those topics are good, especially exercise. Get out of your house and do something. Go help someone else--something that will truly make you feel self-worth, knowing you've done something good.

4) Do not linger in areas where you may find it hard to restrain your thoughts and actions. The bathroom is an obvious one, but there may be others. Keep busy. Don't let yourself be idle--find something to do. Set your mind on a worthy goal or project, and don't let anything distract you from it.

5) Once you've gotten into the habit of controlling your thoughts, the journey will get much easier. It takes at least three weeks, they say, to make or change a habit. Give it a try! When the first unwelcome thought enters your mind, reject it immediately. Don't let yourself indulge even the thought of doing something you are choosing not to do. Power of choice is powerful--you can if you will.

Hope this helps.
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SergioCon · Nov 28, 2023

Do all to the glory of God said: ↑

My advice would be a decided, "No." It's not a good idea. For convenience, not by order of importance, I will number a few points to support my advice.

1) As soon as you orgasm, you will reset your dopamine addiction cycle such that the clock is ticking until your body's urges will come in full again. Even within the first 24 hours afterward, you will likely experience what many here call "the chaser effect." After such a long time without, your body will scream for a second "hit" of the dopamine shortly after the first one, as if the first were insufficiently satisfying.

In short, you are highly likely to lapse back into the addiction you had before.

2) Your brain is likely seeking this "high" and looking for an excuse or rationalization by which to ease your guilt for getting it. However, once it's done and over, you will feel great regret--though it will be too late to reverse it. Just don't give in!

3) You could get caught. If it's illegal where you are, and as you have no experience with it, you may not be savvy enough to avoid a "sting" operation. But almost worse than the police catching you would be to have a friend chance to pass, and spot you, just as you were entering the forbidden lair. How would you ever live it down? Such things as this are never forgotten--it would be remembered for the rest of your life, and the knowledge would likely spread to multiple others.

4) You could get sick. HIV, herpes, gonorrhea, syphilis, hepatitis, and more can all make you very sick. These diseases can be fatal. Most have no permanent cure--they are lifelong diseases; once you've acquired them, you must either abstain from further sexual contacts or protect your partner very carefully, or feel anxious/responsible/guilty that your partner might contract the disease(s) from contact with you.

Seriously. Look up these diseases online. Learn about how they are transmitted, how well a condom might protect you, what the symptoms are, and how long they last. What treatments, if any, are available for them? Find out. If you deliberately choose to remain ignorant of the possibilities, you only endanger yourself and others.

5) After an orgasm, your emotional balance, sleep cycle, mental acuity, and energy will all be affected. Once you've lost the benefit of the 80-days' abstention, you will require many more days to regain it--difficult days. Was it challenging to get past the first several weeks? Do you really want to put yourself through that again before having a legitimate partner with whom to continue to express your genuine shared affections?

6) There is no need to worry about being inexperienced. The less experienced you are, the better it will be when you marry. If you are inexperienced, it will show--and your partner will appreciate the fact that you are a virgin.

7) If you are NOT a virgin when you marry, how will your companion feel upon learning the truth? If you do not wish to reveal the truth, how will you keep it secret? Would you not be worried that it would come out eventually, perhaps, even, accidentally?

8) The prostitute doesn't love you--only your money. You will feel cheated afterward. (NOTE: I've never used the services of a prostitute, but some knowledge does not require personal experience--just ask others here who have passed over these paths.)
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9) Demon Possession

is something to watch out for, check this out and make your own mind about it:

you can get laid with confidence, if you choose to go to a whore don't let her dominate you.

SergioCon · Nov 28, 2023

Spirituss said: ↑

I have experienced exactly what you say for 2 years. It's interesting but your speech is for me too much in the negative. Here's what I think based on my own experience :

Everything is your responsibility. If you meet women like you describe, it's because you yourself have to free yourself from certain insecurities, to feel better about yourself. The quality of your relationships is a reflection of the relationship you have with yourself. That's where I agree with you. Focusing on yourself, taking care of yourself, is an option to improve your relationship with yourself. If you know how to live alone, without dependency, you will know how to live with others.
When I was insecure and had low self-esteem, I only met toxic people. Toxic, unsympathetic women. I went through a lot of phases where I blamed women. But the hard truth that hurts: I was the problem.
A situation can be changed if you put your mind to it. That's what I did and it worked. I approach women on the street, and it works now. Before, it didn't work. I changed some things and yes, it took some work. Relationships are ... an activity. like sports or music. You have to spend time working out the kinks.

Waiting for relationships to come to you is the best way to end up with the first woman who is interested in you. And not to really choose and grow in your love life.
If women have more choices, it's mainly because they are much better at social dynamics than we are. They are more emotional, feel things more and are often more sociable. That's the main reason, they are better at socializing than we are. That's why it's important to work on that area and accept that like in any other area, if you suck, you're going to have to work to change.

Plus, if you wait, if you don't give anything, women have no reason to give you anything. You have to give, being prepared to expect nothing in return, even getting rejected, so that one day you will receive what you have given. Whether it's a relationship, a profound change in yourself, or both. And yes, these results take time. They can take years. I know a guy who approached women for 3 years without any results. And today he's happier and freer than ever.

This is my opinion after approaching thousands of women, and working on myself every day, for 5 years. This feeling of anger towards women is legitimate. But

- You meet women who are like you. If you have too many insecurities you will meet toxic women.
- Dating is like any other activity. If you don't practice, you won't have anything and you won't understand anything about your relationship with others (and yourself)
- No one will come to save you

I won't tell you how many dates I failed. That thing where you send a message to the girl saying "it was really nice, let's do it again another day", and no answer, I lived it dozens of times. But I never gave up. Yes, I've had moments where I've resented women for having so many choices. But I was dependent to what others might think of me, afraid of losing every woman I met. I didn't know how to live alone and I didn't take care of myself. And those were the facts. I was the problem.

I don't wanna give solutions in this post, that's not the point. The goal is not to become a god of relationships and social dynamics. Everything must be nuanced. In the end you are who you are. There are certain things you have to accept about yourself. But there are other things you can and must change if you want to improve your relationships with women.
But it will never be the women's fault. Because you get what you give. If you don't receive anything, it's because you don't give anything. Maybe because you're not ready to give. Giving involves feeling really good about yourself. When you feel bad you tend to take from others, and expect from others
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SergioCon · Nov 28, 2023

Legacy of Lost Soul said: ↑

Repeating situations happen to teach us something. Until we learn it, they will repeat FOR EVER. Its fucked man. I can feel u, as I had/have the same. Girls going for another man. Or ghosting me. Like today. I had a great date with her, we spend 6 hours together. I escaletd it - I touched her. Kissed her. She kissed me. Than few days she texted me, Ive set a date and day before, she did not answer one simple text and since than, she is gone. Stuff like this happens to me. And other things. Most likely she just fucked someone else as I wrote her that msg, I almost felt that..

It feels like Im cursed. It happens all the time in all kinds of variants, most of em are trully torturing.

I dated 100s of em. And I never understood what this situation means, what should I learn and why is it happening. It ends like this in 98% of cases. Its ridiculous.

All I get is constant pain. It hurts deeply, when it happens :/

Maybe the pain should show me/us something.

I dont know man, Im quite fucked.. hope u find the answers

Ps: another fact is, the dating scene is just a wreck. We all are wrecked, hurt, scared, traumatized... and nobody is able to create a normal relationship. Its a sign of a times man. It doesnt have to mean, something is wrong with us. Its very certain, the girls we date, are also deeply wounded and just unable to form any relationship. Its a circle. They are hurt, so they hurt others. This society will not go on for much longer, because of this I believe..

Stay strong!!!
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SergioCon · Nov 28, 2023

BigBallOfFire said: ↑

you guys have serious issues with mental approach to sex (a beautiful, healing thing) that you feel guilt after having orgasm after so long.
nature means balance, you should not go so long without healing your own approach to sex and healing all the traumas.
even sex with a callgirl can be a memorable experience, still sex with a ''loving wife'' can sucks.
it all depends on you and who you go to bed with

one more thing, sex is overrated mostly for people who don't do it regularly
but to do it regularly you need to have healthy sexual energy balance. simple.
but hard to do.
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SergioCon · Nov 28, 2023

Legacy of Lost Soul said: ↑

1st kiss was really nice. 1st sex was bad. During next 25 years, I had many women. And some of em, I loved. Still... sex was... nothing like I thought it can be.

You miss sex when u dont have it, when u have it, u realize what it is..

I think females enjoy it much more than men. We have just a penis, and its not THAT sensitive. U super gently touch female clit with your tongue and she gets off. Now try that with our HW.. LOL

Than they have whole body full of erotogenic zones, we have ass and dick. We not the same.

Sometimes, when I see my girls in extasy, I have a time to envy them, knowing those realms are forbidden for men.

But we have different realms than having wet pussy in extasy. We have honor, vallhalla and purpose. I would not change that for wet pussy. We play this game on hardmode since birth.
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SergioCon · Nov 28, 2023

Newwaters22 said: ↑

Man, if you want to date girls... You gotta go out there. There is no reward without risk. Also it's not new that powerful and rich man have an easier time. That has been happening for hundreds of years.

You can looks at the statistics and gets stuck on them and regret that you are not rich or a Chad for the rest of your life or you can go and live your life like all the other average dudes that went out there, had normal relationships, got married and were happy at the end of the day. And Honestly if you want date girls you gotta talk to them and risk rejection. I don't know what your spectations are but make sure they are reasonable.

Going back to your statistics, being good looking or having a big wallet can be attractive but I can assure you that personality can be as well. You can work on the first two, though it may take more time. The third you can start changing right now by working on your mindset.
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SergioCon · Nov 28, 2023

Meshuga said: ↑

I am NOT AN EXPERT. All I know is what I have heard on NoFap, and heard in the general outside places.

I am most confident that feeding an obsession distorts your natural inclinations. The way you describe your progression into gay P is exactly the same pattern as those progressing into violent P and other fetishes, and even how sociopaths progress from torturing animals to murder. It sounds like you don't want same sex attraction, but your search for increasingly powerful stimulation has led you to respond to same sex P and unwanted attractions. It stands to reason that IF you can disconnect yourself from P and sexual fantasies for a sufficient amount of time, your inclinations toward heterosexual attraction will return.

The question, then, is how to make that happen and you report sleep problems associated with PMO. I strongly empathize, I had this connection as well in my teens. MO was a self soothing technique, and my brain did not want to allow sleep without the ritual. This connection was broken in Basic Training after I enlisted in the US Army. I assume the combination of an incredibly unfamiliar environment and pronounced physical exhaustion helped me sleep without a dopamine rush. I do not propose you enlist, but what you could do is adopt a physically demanding routine that will help your body crave sleep over a dopamine rush. This might be effective as exercise brings its own supply of dopamine, meaning you are getting the same "drug" from a different source. Running distance is an excellent way to accomplish this. Try a mile, then two, then three, and it's okay to plateau. You're not training for a marathon, just wearing yourself out.

I am less confident in this, but enough that I think it bears mentioning. US culture as a whole has been pushing to de-stigmatize and be more accepting of same sex relationships and behaviors. While this has been a welcome change for the LGBTQ+ communities, a lot of the information surrounding same sex attraction has been muddled. Some people believe that attraction ranges on a spectrum, it's fluid, and any attempt to change those attractions is a bigoted attack on that person's identity and harmful to that person. In truth a lot of people don't want some of the sexual feelings they experience, and with good therapeutic techniques, and in some cases just raw time, those feelings diminish or disappear. Some are perfectly fine with their attractions and that's also fine. If your P use, and the same sex feelings that may be a direct consequence of that use, are concerning enough to you, I'd recommend getting therapeutic help. If you can't afford that, it's possible an anonymous sex addiction group could work. Or, stick with NoFap. Whatever the case, don't shame yourself over it. Shame is a powerful emotion but counterproductive to any positive change you want to make, and shouldn't be encouraged. In any given moment, you don't have control over your sexual attractions any more than you have control over any other root emotion. You do have control over how you respond.
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GeorgeJetson · Nov 29, 2023

SergioCon said: ↑

here some insightful stuff from the forums
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There is definitely no shortage of thought-provoking posts within this community. One could spend countless hours pondering the ideas, recommendations, and opinions of our fellow members...and that's just one more reason to love this community.

SergioCon · Nov 30, 2023

GeorgeJetson said: ↑

There is definitely no shortage of thought-provoking posts within this community. One could spend countless hours pondering the ideas, recommendations, and opinions of our fellow members...and that's just one more reason to love this community.
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maybe you got your top 10 or top 3 you like to share?

GeorgeJetson · Nov 30, 2023

SergioCon said: ↑

maybe you got your top 10 or top 3 you like to share?
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I definitely can't rank them as there are too many, but we will see.

Homo sapien. · Jan 17, 2024

No words to appreciate you. A great job. Im glad that I mentioned similar steps today on a thread.
How did you manage to keep them saved and how you copied them separately?

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