MILESTONE - 365 DAYS (no PMO) "monk mode"

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by LifeWorthLiving!!!, May 23, 2017.

  1. LifeWorthLiving!!!

    LifeWorthLiving!!! Fapstronaut

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    This afternoon at 523 I hit one year no PMO. Some call it "monk mode" or "hard mode."

    A year ago, my relapse pattern seemed set in stone. 3-5 days, then I would look at porn nightly for a couple of weeks. I would need 2 hour blocks of time and would find that late at night. Always tired, always exhausted, always ashamed. Triggered by every beautiful woman, living in weakness, living in reaction to the next trigger.

    A year ago, I felt led to make a change in my life - and then started looking up information about porn / masturbation addiction recovery. It was then that I realized that there was an online community of people with the same problem- and that many of them were going 30, 60 and 90 days without pornography. Realizing that people had found freedom and that they were happier and thinking clearly - made this thing seem possible. At that point, I didn't know what PMO stood for.

    I started learning -

    1. About how 2 parts of my brain work. That I have a limbic brain that brings up urges, but it does not have a moral compass. The compass is found in my pre-frontal cortex, where reasoning takes place. I looked up online to find out where these 2 parts were located in the brain - this helped. Being able to see where the limbic brain is located and where the pre-frontal cortex is located, empowers the pre-frontal cortex and weakens the limbic. It's not all mush - but sections.

    2. I learned about dopamine production - the neurochemical reward that felt so good. This neurochemical is used so that I keep doing things that keep me alive. I learned that this neurochemical is good, but that there are ways to hack the system, to effectively break into the drug cabinet of my brain and overload the dopamine receptors. PMO is a way to hack into the dopamine cabinet in my head - a huge brain hack and overload.

    3. I learned that the consequence of brain hacking is devastating. Receptors will partially shut down to limit the overabundance of dopamine that I acquired with the PMO brain hack. When all is said and done, the receptors are still, temporarily, shut down - to the point that normal joys of life can't produce enough dopamine to plow through shut down receptors. Receptors have to re-open.

    4. I learned that there is a healthy dopamine hit from connecting with others about PMO recovery, that the community connection gives the brain a reward - and that it will carry the brain through as the receptors are adjusting.

    5. I learned that my pre-frontal cortex is a POWERFUL tool against the limbic brain. If I speak with authority, the pre-frontal cortex lights up because I am forming words. The limbic brain then reacts to the pre-frontal cortex's authority like a demanding child who has been scolded. (In my childhood, the pre-frontal cortex was not fully formed and I was mainly driven by the limbic brain. If my father raised his voice, I listened. The pre-frontal cortex is like the voice of my father, and when I tell the limbic system "NOT TODAY" or "NO - THIS IS NOT AN OPTION" or "ABSOLUTELY NOT - NO" - the limbic system STOPS suggesting things, like I did as a kid.) I use "authoritative voice" daily. It is key to my recovery. Don't knock it til you try it. This point was KEY ... I REPEAT... KEY to being successful here.

    6. I learned that if I have an urge - that I can ride it out. I don't have to give in. "Blue balls" are relieved with urination - it passes through.

    7. I learned that prayer is the foundation of all things. Grace set my brain free from the get go. I have not exercised the authority that God gave me all along - until this past year.

    8. I learned that as my receptors heal, the little things in life will trigger healthy dopamine production. The idea of this used to seem impossible - almost "lame". A sunset, a conversation, a great meal - all have the potential to trigger healthy levels of dopamine - and open receptors treat the healthy level of dopamine like a feast.

    9. I learned that I have been blind through life - from the brain hacks. I have not seen my strengths or my weaknesses with true clarity. I learned that I still have more to go in becoming a better man.

    10. I learned that the best is yet to come. I can use my experience to help others. This keeps me aware of myself and effective to others.

    This has been the best year of my life! I am grateful to God and to so many who have been committed to recovery.

    After a year of this, I can handle urges very effectively. My main drive is to protect my brain from brain hacks - no PMO and at the same time no intentional fantasy. The second that I catch myself unintentionally thinking about a lustful thought - I deal with it quickly.

    The big thing for me was not doing this alone. Online support, combined friends that you trust and a connection with God that you trust even more - is essential.

    I hope that his will inspire someone who is struggling like I did for way too many years. This CAN be done. We need to stop thinking that its impossible. My next milestone is 500 days.

    GOD'S PEACE!!!
     
    Last edited: May 24, 2017
  2. Great job! I'm sure you must be proud and you should be because you earned it. Accomplishing a year of hard mode is no easy feat but it can be done and you have proved it.

    I think the key to your success is plain and simple, education. Reading your time line of posts, I can tell you really learned the science behind meanings and facts of how our minds work. I've relapsed many times before I started my journey and I didn't know how to quit, it seemed impossible. But the more I learned about triggers, dopamine and brain functions the light began to shine on the path to success and victory.

    I agree 100% with all of your observations.

    Thank you so much for posting your experiences during your journey. You have been a positive influence and my motivation is now in over drive to reach my goal of a year and beyond. I wish you the very best and hope that you will continue to contribute with posts and updates about your future experiences.

    Good luck to you and God speed to 500.
     
  3. Gustavian86

    Gustavian86 Fapstronaut

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    That's amazing man, good job on achieving a year of sobriety. I can't imagine how good that must feel for you on every level. I also can't imagine the will power that you've been able to gain. If you can go 1 year with no pmo amidst those strong urges, you can literally do anything you put your mind to. Good job man, and thanks for being an inspiration to us.
     

  4. Such a wonderful story that I should keep in mind when the urges hit me. Keep up the good work man and thanks for sharing!
     
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  5. TheFutureMe

    TheFutureMe Fapstronaut

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    What a year this must have been :) That's outstanding, and I think you're doing a great job at pointing out what helped you and could help others following the same path.
    All the best for the 500, and for this next part where it's actually about not having to count anything anymore ^^
     
  6. Sans_Fear

    Sans_Fear Fapstronaut

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    You have certainly reached a milestone. How did you do it? Did you have any flatlines even after 90 days? And have you seen an improvement in your concentration and memory? These are my goals, not merely dalliances. I am on monk mode too, but if you met the lady of your dreams would you abandon this?
     
    Last edited: May 24, 2017
  7. My congratulations and all the best for the next 135 days
     
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  8. Leona

    Leona Guest

    Wow this is truly inspiring!!! I am about to do this, I know I got it this time!!! Currently on Day 37. I am stronger than ever and there's nothing that can break my determination or hold me back.

    Thanks for your little information about what you've learned on your way. I found it very interesting. Peace out. We got this!!!
     
  9. batman99087

    batman99087 New Fapstronaut

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    goo
    may god with you
     
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  10. LifeWorthLiving!!!

    LifeWorthLiving!!! Fapstronaut

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    No flatlines, but growing awareness with concentration. What I have found is that I am keenly aware of dopamine hacks. As I knock out the hack, my brain gets clearer.

    For instance, I have used food to overproduce dopamine in my head. Eating quickly, in large amounts - or eating certain sugary or greasy foods - they all cause a huge spike in dopamine production and the receptors temporarily close off a bit. And at that point, great food does not give me a healthy dopamine reward, so I would go back to the bad food.

    Also, procrastination. I would put off until iI came close to a deadline, create an emergency, and rush to get it done. Huge amount of dopamine to drive a project home. Another very addictive process. The procrastination would anticipate the dopamine reward given under pressure.

    Regarding last question - Over the last year, I have learned to treat women with great dignity and respect in my life and in my mind. I'm 48 years old, and I have objectified women for decades. I truly appreciate connecting with respect - and not using women in my mind and heart. It is a new thing but a good thing.

    GOD'S PEACE!!!
     
  11. TheFutureMe

    TheFutureMe Fapstronaut

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    Funny you should mention that, I was about to post a poll in the forums about this specific issue. I knwo I've always been procrastinating furiously for everyFUNCKINGthing in my life, and despite every downside this behavior might have had on my existence, I've plowed through and carried on with it.

    You're saying that you can sort of track the dop' hacks when they occur and have a certainty that it's involved in the urgency+rush+resolution process that we induce by massively procrastinating? Could you elaborate on your experience? I'm sort of dying to learn more about that ^^
     
  12. LifeWorthLiving!!!

    LifeWorthLiving!!! Fapstronaut

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    For years I have put off hard things. Back in school I had a pattern of putting off term papers. I would put off and put off til a deadline approached. I was in flight mode, and my brain would actually he anticipating the fight mode. Fight mode is where the dopamine hack would kick in. With just enough time, I would be able to hyper-focus and get work done. I had no time for anything else because I had created an "emergency", but I got it done. Never to my full potential. Anyone who needed anything while I was in fight mode could not have my time.

    I am working on this for this year. I like how you phrase it "urgency+rush+resolution". It's a clear addiction. I know it because when I go to do projects early, I get restless and abandon them. It's my limbic brain wanting the neurochemical dopamine to get it done.

    Need a day counter for U.R.R.!(Urgency+Rush+Resolution)
     
  13. TheFutureMe

    TheFutureMe Fapstronaut

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    So true. While I've always suspected something fishy with this behavior, it never occured to me that there could be a dopamine reward involved, and that the seeking mechanism was to actually induce the urgency. Makes perfect sense now... Thanks for that! I'll keep an eye out, definitely create a new counter, and sure enough I've got some deadlines approaching.

    Let U.R.R become a thing then!
     
  14. Samsonite316

    Samsonite316 New Fapstronaut

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    Great story, your commitment and dedications truly an inspiration to a lot of us hear. You've definitely given me the motivation and hope that this is possible for me.
     
  15. Sans_Fear

    Sans_Fear Fapstronaut

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    On the women subject, I agree with you. I am much far behind you but I have been having the same thought pattern. I do not objectify them any more, or at least most of the time. This nofap experiment has led me more to a spiritual dimension, this after years of nihilistic thoughts. I gave up alcohol and frequenting places filled with lower frequencies. I do not want to sound too sanctimonious but this the effect I have had so far. Thank you so much your reply, yours are words of wisdom.
     
  16. IamRick

    IamRick Fapstronaut

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    Thats one hell of a streak, congratulations man
     
  17. Folarin

    Folarin Fapstronaut

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    I'm self employed and I have ambitions and I keep the bills paid with regular work from clients. After attacking PMO, I started attacking my diet - a struggle I am still dealing with unfortunately - to improve my life and develop self-control.
    I noticed at some point I was using food to compensate but I didn't realize it had gone into my work as well. I find myself committing to multiple jobs at once and not engaging in them till the last minute. I had no idea I was using this to compensate too!
    Thanks for the insight.
    For you 500 is just around the corner!! Well done!!
     
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  18. johnappai

    johnappai Fapstronaut

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    Wonderful and inspirational, i have been in and out of this community and today i really felt the need to end this, went through your post and got inspired, i'm going for a 90 days no[edit] PMO(Actually came to know about these abbreviations today only)
     
  19. LifeWorthLiving!!!

    LifeWorthLiving!!! Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the reply.

    Working on a building virtue of temperance (beating gluttony). have kept a food journal since May 6. It keeps me aware of what I am eating. It is changing patterns. I plan meals and eat better. Lost 6 pounds so far. I used to just graze like a cow and ride the dopamine wave, unaware that it was addictive. The journal is in a notebook. Works great for me.

    Regarding work - getting up at a specific time. Building virtue of perseverance. Shower , pray and attack the day. Made specific promises to myself to get to appointments early. The healthy dopamine kick of accomplishment is so much better than the hyperfocus dopamine in procrastination / rushing. Keeping a day count on perseverance commitment.

    My focus (chastity, temperance, perseverance)

    Day by day. Building virtue. Becoming a better man.

    GOD'S PEACE!!!
     

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