Movies with nudity

To my mind, if something can lead us to PMO's or something similar, we have to take it out from our environnement.
Me, for instance, I have been using social network for a long time.
But since the time I decided not to PMO, all this become big issues for me.
I am more sensitive to all this now than in the past. Certainly they are tools, so they are neither good nor bad but if for us, they are an opportunity to fall, we must eliminate them from our environment once again. Reason for which I launched the procedure to disable my Facebook account and soon it will be the case of Whatsapp with sometimes porn statuses. To return to the question of films, before looking at it, first look at the movie trailer to get an idea and in the best possible way, ask people who have already seen that film if there are (not many but) long sexual scenes. And if you can not have this information, then, abstain from seeing that movie. Sometimes, I wonder how our parents did for healthy entertainment during this time when television did not exist? Do we who have television (movies, media, social networks) are happier, fulfilled than these people years ago. Of course, the industrial revolution and the development of technologies make life easier for us, but are we really happier? Or on the contrary, unhappy and slaves of a technology that makes us stupid? It's up to you to see if watching movies is really necessary for you.

I hope my answer will help you.

 

Stay away from Sausage Party. The end scene... it makes you question your sanity.

 

I grew up without TV and I hated it. I felt like I was missing out. Although not having a TV gave an appreciation for radio programmes.

 

Sorry to hear that this affects you so badly. It sounds like a traumatic experience for you.
Ask your SO to stop watching movies with nudity in them. Check out the parents guide - content advisory on IMDb before watching a movie to see if you're comfortable with the content. Your SO should want to work with you not against you on this and if he doesn't you've got problems in your relationship because it's like he wants to traumatise you. Maybe if he doesn't care maybe you should think about separating from him.

Of course. It's like you've been in a bad car accident. Someone who has been in a bad car accident will feel differently about riding in cars compared to someone who hasn't.

 

So... my husband and I don't watch anything with nudity in it. God, if there is a scene where there are clothes being taken off and people in underwear that is even challenging. The thing is my husband looks away from any sexual scene, and we did that at the start when he first gave up PMO. At first he wasn't very good at it, but now he always looks away if there are those scenes or scantily clad girls in a scene or even a really low cut dress/shirt an actress is wearing. Seeing him do that makes me feel safe and respected and like he is taking his recovery seriously.

The thing is once you're in recovery it's a life change.
Overall life changes:
- No social media
- No going to movie theatres
- checking parent guides for every show or movie before we watch it
- no tech without me or someone else present
- accountability software
- therapy

If he is serious about recovery he will realize that recovery is a life change. You don't just stop watching porn, but you get into therapy, you do what you need to do to help your SO, you do what you need to do to stay sober which most often means no social media and tv/movies need vetting.

I hope he comes around. I am like you, I have nightmares and wake up heart racing, feeling like I am about to have a panic attack and have breakdowns. I had those a lot in the beginning, almost every night sometimes. I still get them over 2 years since dday and it sucks. They aren't as often, maybe once or twice a week now, but I get how painful and horrid it can be to not get sleep and honestly be scared to fall asleep. I think that's why I have so much insomnia now because I am scared to have nightmares.

 

Get rid of those DVDs.

We have a big movie collection and there are now movies in that collection that we cannot watch, shows that I love that we cannot watch.

Also FB has TONS of porn on it... same with twitter, insta, snapchat, etc. all socials should go, or for my husband and I, he didn't delete his fb but doesn't use it unless I am present.

 

So it takes you having a nervous breakdown for him to have some changes! It sounds to me the only reason why he's made any progress in getting clean is because of you. He should be more determined to get clean than you. IDK maybe he making efforts to get clean that you're not aware of but it sounds like if it wasn't for you he wouldn't care. It just doesn't sound good.

Why do you feel nauseous? What are your thoughts when you feel this way? How do you interpret his fascination with nudity?

There are plenty of movies that don't nudity in them. Here's a list of such movies.

I should add for me a movie with nudity in it doesn't necessarily mean I'll be triggered, for me, it's all about the tone of the movie. I watched the film I Origins and it briefly has nudity in it but it was no trigger because the film didn't make the nudity the central part of the movie. The entire film is about whether the existence of God can be proven or disproven by the existence of eyes. The story and the questions asked by the film made me quickly forget the nudity. On the other hand, you have films that make nudity and sex the central theme. They are made in such a way that you walk away from the movie forgetting what the story was about and just remember the sex and bodies show on screen. Films like Sex Tape and Bad Teacher are two example. Personally, I haven't watched any of them because just reading about them I know they'll make me relapse.

 

i am an ex p addict, decided to not have s. for a while until i feel in control and really ok and not my libido in control. and i am a 26 year old girl. this is my opinion as an addict in recovery. you can't avoid s. in movies, you just can't, they are everywhere. it reminds when i was bugged and while i was holiding hands with ex guy he would look at other girls. that pissed me off but you can't control. i would look at a good looking guy if i see one but there are ways and ways to look at someone you find attractive without being over the limit

maybe he can and should be more respetful of you in the way he is looking at those girls in the movies, this is something i would def mention to him if he doesn't control himself a bit, leave him. I am serious, nobody deserves to be with someone that checks out other people in front of you in a disrespectful even if it is in movies but he should respect you. i don't like his behaviour

Spoiler: Trigger

i watched the other night a very triggering movie that i used to think it was a "masterpiece". the movie is highly immoral but back then i thought it depicted reality instead of other movies hiding the reality. in this movie there is everything (s. in every degrading way possible and perverted stuff going on, sniffing cocaine and other heavy drugs i mean everything bad and most triggering) and i did not feel the desire to relapse. i felt ok and didn't feel i had to turn off the movie. the only stuff i don't watch anymore and could trigger me I think still is a tv series about dragons, warriors, monsters etc. with rape depicted even and very explicit s. that made me fantasise a lot and made me want to imitate that a lot. there are movies about Jesus, action movies with guns or FBI agents, romantic, comedy movies so many kinds of movies do not include s. or not too explicit. I have netflix. just look for those i recommended and you'll see.

at the start of my reboot, i felt the need to stay away from movies even with a miniumm of s. now not anymore. It was hard to avoid watching a lot of those stuff but then it was ok, i saw the benefits in my life. your bf has to make a decision to stop watching those stuff and put effort otherwise leave him. I send you a hug

 

Before watching any movie
Go to imdb.....then click on parent's guide ......it will give you the details regarding any nudity .. ..then you can choose to avoid that movie/series

 

I just recently started no P or M ina relationship (my girlfriend doesnt know) and I can honestly say if he isnt making an effort to avoid nudity in the movies, especially when you say he is focusing so heavily on the nudity, then he isnt really trying to get better. for me my main trigger is social media, and after taking a couple days break completely from instagram I had a bit of a relapse, so now I have completely deleted the app from my phone. Movies and tv shows are also a trigger to me, and when something sexual comes I immedietely look away now. It really comes down to self control and WANTING to get better. I am completely aware of my triggers and i dont want porn to affect my relationship and sex life anymore, so i have to make a concious effort to avoid triggers every single day. Its hard, but when you want to change you will put in the work, and it honestly sounds like he isnt really trying. This is also coming from me working hard while keeping it a secret. For your boyfriend to be open with his addiction and yet still trying to get his fix (which even if he denies he definitely is) through movies he definitely isnt ready to make a real change in his life yet. i dont have any advice as to what i would do with him, its your relationship and you need to decide for yourself if this journey to recovery is worth it, but you should be aware of the fact that he really isnt trying right now. Not to say that he cant get better and that he wont try in the future, but right now he clearly isnt ready to change.

 

I am really sorry you have to go through that. He needs some monk mode ASAP.

 

Monk mode is no porn, no masturbation, no orgasm. It's called 'hard mode' in the getting started guide.

This thread reminded me of a journal entry I made back in January about watching Personal Shopper

Sorry if that doesn't help, I don't think I am in the same place as your husband.

There are no 'shoulds'. It is a big deal for you, he has to accept that and find ways that his behaviour can support you.

Everyone reading this post will see what a problem he has. Why can't he?

This.

There's nothing wrong with being a prude. Once he has put in the work to get you through this and prove to you that you can trust him then you can relax about rude content. Until then be as prudish as you need!

This might be one of those solutions that only work in the UK, but if I'm watching something with the family on TV that irritates me I ask "Who wants a cup of tea?" and then I get up and put the kettle on.

Is that your job? What is he doing to fix his betrayal?

That's good to hear, I'm working on this now.

What are your favourite movies so we get some idea of your taste?

@Wave Surfer's right, and we are here to listen. Good luck, he is a very lucky man that you have not packed your bags.

 

Thanks. Yes so some people in Monk Mode do take it a step further and avoid movies/social media for a while till they have rebooted their system. Reason I mentioned straight monk mode was because it takes movies out the equation and encourages better habits like working out and meditating etc. Now I have done monk mode. I love movies and i like watching em with my gf. But sometimes it has to be done and it actually feels amazing once ur initial media craving goes away.

He can always catch up on shows later on. U dont need to ask him to quit social media unless he stares at instagram models or something. But maybe he can stop movies/tv for some time till he sees some change and till u can at least sleep at night. Because that is rough, you may need to talk to someone to be honest like therapy or get on medication. I do think u are experiencing something that even if he improves quite a bit or if it ends, u would still need help dealing with it for sure. Sure to him its an overreaction. And you might be right to react that way but the effect its having on you cannot be ignored. So please remember to take care of yourself as well mentally regardless of how the situation progresses.

 

What do you mean by DD? I haven't seen that used here before.

 

This is one reason to watch classic movies. I cannot recommend them enough.

Movies made from 1933 until around 1960 were made under the production code. There are no explicit scenes. No nudity. Some of the greatest films ever made were produced under these restrictions. Writing, acting, directing and cinematography need to be good when you can't sell with sex or CGI.