My friend keeps pointing out the one thing I never had: A GIRLFRIEND

The human failure · Oct 19, 2016

Namekian23 said: ↑

I'm sorry if I sounded like I was extremely pissed off at my friend, but I've cooled down man. And another thing, please don't take it so seriously. Just know he's still my best friend, and he's been there for me many times. Out of the 22 years I've known him, I consider him a brother. It's just a phase that he's going through that's all.

Other than that, I understand what you're saying about girlfriends and that other shit. But take it from a guy who's been there; I'd rather work on myself and be mentally, physically, and spiritually ready for a girlfriend than to go running around like a idiot. Believe me kid, I know what's it's like. I was in the same boat as you.

And listen closely, having a girlfriend will not make your life all that great. It's a lot of responsibility, patience, commitment, etc. And as they say: Be careful what you wish for. So focus on yourself like I'm doing; you'll thank me in the future. And as for my friend and his taunting, let him do it. His confidence isn't close to mine, and when I have my own girlfriend, I'll never act like him.
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I guess I should consider myself lucky that I don't have friends, they sound really complicated. As for improving myself, I'm about to order the drugs to fix myself. Then I hope I can actually start caring about my life instead of feeling like I'm living in someone else's body. Glad it worked out for you I guess.

Islanders190 · Oct 30, 2016

I could Relate to your friend in the sense that when I got my first gf I felt like a boss, like I won the world series. my confidence quickly turned into cockiNess. I'm pretty sure lots of guys this has Happand to, they get there first gf and they change. and this is just my opinion but just because you know someone for your whole life and consider them a brother or best friend doesn't mean you have to keep them in Your life or they have to stay in your life. sometimes you outgrow people or they outgrow you. you don't have to hangout or Still talk with people who make you feel like shit, if I were in your shoes and I discussed the problem with that friend in a mature way yet he still chooses to act the same way. I don't care how long we knew each other, what our history was or is, I'm sorry but I'm dropping him from my life or at least really distancing myself from him. time to find some new quality friends. when he's learned how is actions are unacceptable and willing to change his behavior then and only then your friendship with him can resume if you choose to. but I hate it when people feel obligated to stay friends with people just because they have know each other forever because no you don't if your feeling mistreated then it's time to move on.
As for you he's acting petty and is in that honeymoon phase but you mentioned how he is making you jealous. nobody makes you do anything or feel any thing unless you give them your power. hes,not doing anything, your feeling jealous because he's bringing out your own insecurities to the surface. you mentioned how he didn't even try and got his gf I think your jealousy or resentment could stem from that, that he didn't have to try, I could be wrong, but it something to think about. also the dynamic of your relationship changed it seemed maybe I read the post wrong but you weren't such a great friend to him as you may think. the way it came across when reading your post was that you think your better than him, your like big brother and he's little brother. come on you even called his girlfriend average looking and I think you also mentioned your more attractive and confident than him etc. now the table has flipped, he has a gf now and you don't and he's not the same person anymore and you feel threatened.
I know this was a long post of me butT I just wanted to tell you my thoughts on it

Islanders190 · Oct 30, 2016

Also they say when you stop looking to get a gf is often when you get a gf. it's like a law of attraction thing, that's probably why your friend got his

Islanders190 · Oct 30, 2016

There was a line where you mentioned in this that he can make you jealous all you want but at least you can talk to girls and he can't. His gf is average looking and you can attract pretty ones. you said if they break up your going to keep staying friends with her. For her sake i woundnt want her friends with you, you called her average and put her down, u gotta change your ways man. Because that's petty man that's like a girl rejecting you that you approach and then when you leave you say well she's ugly anyway. even if he can't talk to girls and you can he has gf and you don't right ? I think that time of energy that you display thats why you don't have a gf and he does, the world is an energetic field what you put out therected you will get right back to you

Veritech · Oct 30, 2016

Sometimes those few couple of months after having a girlfriend can be awkward. Guys want to brag about her to their best buddy, and the buddy wants to talk about what they used to talk about. Eventually this phase will likely pass.

Perhaps she has some friends that she might want to set you up with.

Regardless, best friends should have a pact that they should get together on occasion without their girlfriends and act like they always have.

Namekian23 · Nov 3, 2016

Islanders190 said: ↑

I could Relate to your friend in the sense that when I got my first gf I felt like a boss, like I won the world series. my confidence quickly turned into cockiNess. I'm pretty sure lots of guys this has Happand to, they get there first gf and they change. and this is just my opinion but just because you know someone for your whole life and consider them a brother or best friend doesn't mean you have to keep them in Your life or they have to stay in your life. sometimes you outgrow people or they outgrow you. you don't have to hangout or Still talk with people who make you feel like shit, if I were in your shoes and I discussed the problem with that friend in a mature way yet he still chooses to act the same way. I don't care how long we knew each other, what our history was or is, I'm sorry but I'm dropping him from my life or at least really distancing myself from him. time to find some new quality friends. when he's learned how is actions are unacceptable and willing to change his behavior then and only then your friendship with him can resume if you choose to. but I hate it when people feel obligated to stay friends with people just because they have know each other forever because no you don't if your feeling mistreated then it's time to move on.
As for you he's acting petty and is in that honeymoon phase but you mentioned how he is making you jealous. nobody makes you do anything or feel any thing unless you give them your power. hes,not doing anything, your feeling jealous because he's bringing out your own insecurities to the surface. you mentioned how he didn't even try and got his gf I think your jealousy or resentment could stem from that, that he didn't have to try, I could be wrong, but it something to think about. also the dynamic of your relationship changed it seemed maybe I read the post wrong but you weren't such a great friend to him as you may think. the way it came across when reading your post was that you think your better than him, your like big brother and he's little brother. come on you even called his girlfriend average looking and I think you also mentioned your more attractive and confident than him etc. now the table has flipped, he has a gf now and you don't and he's not the same person anymore and you feel threatened.
I know this was a long post of me butT I just wanted to tell you my thoughts on it
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I know what you said was a lot, but listen to what I have to say. When I posted this thread a month ago, there was a lot of inner frustrations and pent up emotions boiling inside me. I have thought about distancing myself away from my best friend, and I did for 6 weeks. It was the best thing I ever did. And you're right. I was extremely jealous and angry knowing that I failed so many times at getting a gf, while he didn't. Furthermore, the reason why I still choose to be his friend was because of the many great things he's done for me during our childhood. A month ago, I wasn't thinking rationally, and I've said some things I didn't mean to say. However, I'm glad you've mentioned all these points, and I thank you for your honesty. You see, my friend and I had a long and personal discussion about this matter several weeks ago. We talked about it like grown adults and not like little children. And even after all this, he's still a good friend to me. However, one of these days he'll understand what a relationship really feels like when one is heartbroken; maybe he'll finally acknowledge the pain I felt and have more sympathy.

I take back most of what I said: his gf being average, me being more attractive than he is, and me being the better, more successful brother. The truth is, his gf is beautiful on the inside and has many qualities of a good friend that I consider her a sister. Again, I take back what I said. I'm not that attractive nor am I that confident; I just think I am. Fortunately, I'm trying to change my behaviors and ways of thinking to gain attractiveness and confidence through a more positive approach. I have a long way to go, but I'm working on it as we speak. I want to be the best version of myself (mentally, physically, and spiritually) before I get into a relationship myself.

As for girlfriends, maybe you're right. Even though he wanted a gf his whole life, he was actually patient while I was running around like an idiot, chasing girls, and ended up being heartbroken over and over again. He deserves a girlfriend, but for me, I do not. In my case, I have to work for it and be patient like he did. And again like I said, I take back everything I mentioned about his gf. It was wrong for me to say such foolish things, and I don't have any excuse other than the fact that I was pretty emotional at the time of the post. She's an amazing woman and a good friend, and even if you don't agree that she should be my friend, that is your own opinion and you have the right to feel that way.

Like you've mentioned, I really need to change myself and stop acting like a little kid. I've always dreamed of being emotionally strong, and in time, it will happen. I've been heartbroken so many times, that I've the had courage and patience to let myself heal before getting into a relationship. The best time to get a girlfriend is when you're not thinking about one; it's because you're focusing on yourself, your goals, and your dreams. I know the type of girls I want and I'm willing to work for it, because as of now, I do not deserve a gf. Not yet at least. And again, thanks for your honest opinions; however, I'm not the same person I was a month ago. My mind is a little more clear, my situation with my friend is hopefully solved, and most importantly, I can move on. Besides, I have more important things to worry about.

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My friend keeps pointing out the one thing I never had: A GIRLFRIEND

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