I guess my PMO started when I used to M to naked pictures of women that my brothers had at the age of 12. Soon the Internet made this easier. By 13 the P became sex scenes. I slowly started to move towards a preference for men and women in good shape. I must of stumbled across some bi P and found it arousing. I started to mix up my choice of P. This slowly lead to me M to gay P. The straight P was no longer exciting. At 20, I lost my virginity with my first girlfriend all the while enjoying explicite gay P. In hindsight, I had signs of PIED even at that stage. At 22, I moved county and stayed with a gay couchsurfer. One night I allowed him to preform oral sex on me. The next night I bottomed. We had sex twice before I left. That is the only time I had gay sex, but I still fantasise and M. A few years later I meet my now girlfriend. But I was still using gay P. More and more explicit, and I've even experimented with anal M and home-made dildows. About 2 years ago I came to understand that P addiction existed and about a year ago I realised I was addicted. I tried to stop but always relaped back to gay P (nearly exclusively gay). 89 days being my longest time without P (still M) PIED started to really take its told on our sex life and my confidence. It came to a point when my partner confronted me a few moths ago saying that I have no sex drive. That's when I started this streak of PM (M as I came to realise it was part of my addiction). So far it's been two weeks.
Thanks for sharing your story. I know how easy it is to slip from viewing porn--straight or gay--and feeling the need to act out sexually. Your fantasies about having sex with guys may or may not indicate that you're bi. (And who really cares whether you are or not.) The most important thing is to get a handle on the compulsive behavior, and it seems like you're working to do that. Persevere!
Do 90 days without porn and masturbation and see what's gonna happen. I have also gay fetish (love penis, it turns me on like hell), but i had it also when i began with porn and it's still same for about 20 years.
I can't tell which came first for me--the porn or the interest in penis. One thing I do know is that porn has insanely increased my interest in all kinds of sexual activity.
But you are aroused by male body, you want to kiss your male lover and want relationship and so on? I don't want it, i just want dick and that's all. And it's only my reason why i relapse. I don't even want to fap to naked female bodies when i see it on social media, but penis and anal sex... It's not developed through years, it's same last 20 years (it's same like first time when i discovered it), i don't believe i am porn addict, in my past i fapped 2-3 per day then i don't fap next 3-5 days. Sexuality is a weird thing.
I remember being equally aroused when I was a teenager by both guys and girls. I always dated girls and had sexual relationships with them, but with the guys it was always just about the sex. And I always felt guilty about the sex--but maybe that was just because it was so taboo then. Today, if I have the opportunity to have sex with a women, I'll do it....but I always come back to men. Unfortunately, I never really took the time to try to have a full relationship with a guy (only with women). Now I wish that I had tried it. It might have been more satisfying for me. I don't know whether you're bi or not. If you've bottom with a guy and you'd liked it and still fantasize about it, what does that tell you? Same with porn addiction. If you can do without it for very long periods--more than 3-5 days--maybe you're not a pron addict. But it sounds like you always need to come back to it, just like you always seem to need to come back to cock. Just some things to think about from a guy who has been there.
One more thing....It could just be that sexual contact with a guy is just easier to get than from a woman and that's why some guys resort to it so often, even if they're conflicted about it. If you're young or hung, you can find guys easily for sex. I could get a blowjob in 10 minutes if I needed one in NY. Hetero sex by contrast is hard work.
I don't know. I don't have problem about it. I am open minded. It's maybe some kind of hetero flexibility. I am aroused by dick, and that dick can be on male, transwoman, it doesn't play big role for me. I am pretty sure i am not 100 % hetero and straight. About PA, i don't believe i am porn addict. I fapped only to stop urge, i relapse only because i am horny like hell. Yes, it's easy to find someone to fuck if you're in big city. It's little harder here in 3rd world country, but i was into fitness and had dream body so it wasn't so hard to find someone for sex.
Well, whether you're straight, gay, bi, or hetero-flexible, it doesn't matter to me. Here in NY, there is no stigma at all attached to these things. If you come from a conservative country (or state here in the US), I guess that it's a lot harder to be open about who you are.
Yes, i am from shitty Balkan country and people here are so primitive about gay community. If i admit i love cock to some of my friends i am gonna be marked for rest of my life in my city. Yes, it's better than before (for example Serbia has first lesbian prime minister on Balkan, in Croatia gay marriages are legal now), but i believe it's still hard time for LGBTQ community or whatever is out of "normal" people. There is a lot of gay people (like everywhere in world) and their friends sometimes know it, but nobody talk about it. If you support gay people here it means you're automatically gay. As i said, people here are very stupid, ignorant and primitive.
