So here I am in my early 30s, desperately trying to get caught up on all the social development that didn’t happen in my youth. I was shy all that time, and nobody really took me under their wing; not my dad, not my older brothers...nobody. Everybody just thought “he’s quiet” and left it at that. I know it’s possible for a shy guy to become outgoing, because I saw my friend transformed by a youth program his mom put him in for a year, and I’ve met several outgoing people who have told me that they’re either shy by nature or used to be shy. For all this time that I’ve been shy, I’ve somehow coasted by being largely passive. I’ll talk to people if they engage me first, but I hardly ever start conversations, which I think needs to change. I’m also not particularly good at keeping conversations going. My problem is that I try to think of something to say but draw a blank. That exact thing happened the morning after my one ex slept with me. I was sitting by her on my porch, just enjoying her presence as she had a cigarette. She kept asking me what was on my mind because she thought I looked like I had something on my mind, but I kept telling her my mind was a blank, other than just enjoying being with her. I feel invisible and powerless, and I feel like it has to stop if I’m ever going to meet another lady. It was a fluke that I wound up with my ex at all, because she approached me. That almost never happens, and the odds of it happening again are slim to none.