Nervous about first date.

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by SorryWontSayIt, Jul 29, 2020.

  1. SorryWontSayIt

    SorryWontSayIt Fapstronaut

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    Hello!

    So this summer I have all the sudden "felt"/been more popular around women. Women have started to show a lot more interest in me. And the last month I have been chatting with a girl I met on tinder. We have not met yet, after chatting for around 30 days, because she just moved to the city where I live.

    In the next couple of days we are going to meet. And I will say I am pretty nervous. Normally I don't feel nervous when meeting new people, because I can ask anything to learn about them - if we have not talked too much before. But with her, we have have been chatting for 30 days (on snapchat - so not the longest conversations).

    So I am scared we won't have anything to talk about.

    Would love some advice or some words from you guys! :)
     
    Le 17 likes this.
  2. p1n1983

    p1n1983 Fapstronaut

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    at least you will learn something about this. Never speak that much with a girl virtualy, wait to do it in person and is more likely that the conversation is going to be a lot better.

    1. Stop talking virtually... talk with her 95% in person and only 5% virtually to set then next date.
    2. If she is interested in you she is going to talk a LOT, she is going to make a real effort to keep the conversation going so don't be nervous about not having things to talk about.
    If she don't make the effort, there are akward silences and you don't really enjoy her company that is a preatty good indicator that you are not meant to be together and you can be sure that you can find better girls than her to spend your time with. If that happens be glad that you find out she is not a keeper in just one date! You can move on to the next girl without loosing that much time. There are guys that waste months or years to figure or accept that, they keep themselves hoocked up with the same girl despite the fact the girl doesn't reciprocate the interest.
     
  3. DuckofDeath

    DuckofDeath Fapstronaut

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    My dad taught me an important lesson about social interactions, whether it is for dating or just talking to anyone. He said that everyone has their passions, they all have things in side their head that they desperately want to share with the people around them.

    They want to talk about their hobbies, they want to talk about friends/family, about their favorite tv show, about drama surrounding their favorite celebrities or the lastest trade rumors surrounding the NBA franchise they cheer for. When they are around those they trust deeply, they want to share their fears, their deepest abmitions, hopes for the future. They want to open up about deep emotional pain from years ago.

    You get the picture.

    Obviously you don't want to jump too deep into the heavy emotional stuff just yet. But if you've been talking virtually for a month. You should have a good idea about the things she's passionate about. Get her to talk about those things more at length, with probing questions, and really listen, and then ask more questions about her responses to your previous questions. If you can ask questions that show you really, really care about her thoughts, that will be HUGE!

    I love boxing. I could talk about the history, tactics etc. of boxing for hours without getting bored of it. I can tell you this: if I was on a first date with a cute Latina (bonus points if she has glasses and a tasteful chest tattoo) and she listened attentively while I talked about boxing, I would swooning with cartoon hearts circling my head by the end of the night. You can duplicate that same effect by be a good listener with this girl.

    A few other quick things:
    1.) don't be negative! Even minor, negative remarks make you appear less masculine in front of a women. Griping about nit-picky things you can't control will murder her lady-boner
    2.) if you need a date idea: miniature golf followed by frozen yogurt
    3.) Have good posture
    4.) Be polite
    5.) Don't try too hard to impress her
     
  4. SorryWontSayIt

    SorryWontSayIt Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for replys! :)

    Just came back from the date. We went for coffee and took a walk around the town, since she is new in town.

    It went very good! :) And I am pretty happy about myself, and she seemed really great! Ofcours it is just the first time we have met, but it seems to me that we will atleast go on more then one date!
     
    DuckofDeath likes this.

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