New here, 31 years old

Hi everybody!

I am 31 years old male. I've decided to join the community because I suspect that I have porn addiction (PA) since I was 13 or 14 years old.

My longest NoFap streak was about 30 days when I went to summer camp at the age of 16. After returning home from that camp I immediately start to search content to jerk off and bought a porn magazine. This memories are so bright because then I almost shot a ceiling with my semen ). After that I had several attempts to quit masturbation but all them was failed and lasted no longer than 5-7 days.

I am very familiar with all spectre of PA issuies, especially with such as erectile disfunction (PIED) in real sex which led to fear of sexual failure. It was the reason why I had my first serious relationship with sex at 25. Before that, at the period 18-25, I rarely had sex only with prostitutes and mostly just jerking off on porn. At that time I always wanted to have a normal girlfriend but that developed fear of sexual failure and low motivation based on PA kept me away from real heathy relationship.

Luckily now I am married for 6 years and have normal regular sex life, but I keep watching porn and jerking off almost everyday. I feel that this habit ruining my motivation, social skills and negatively affects my sex life with wife. Also I'm still very skinny (weight 135-140lb, 6.1 tall) and I think its because of low testosterone.

At this moment last time when I masturbate on porn was May, 20. So today is the 13th day of my NoFap streak. I want to accomplish full reboot and willing to abstain from porn and masturbation for 90 days.

Wish me luck! I think this reboot will give me such benefits:
- improved real sex life
- cured erectile disfunction (want to always have a boner and forget about half-soft dick)
- increased self esteem
- higher motivation to do anything
- better concentration
- higher level of testosterone and muscle growth

 

Thank you for support!

 

Today I was on the edge. It was so fuckin difficult to abstain from PMO. My wife went to business trip and for the 5 days I will be all alone at home. Me vs all the porn of the world and also my fantasies.. So difficult to hold my inner demons. My brain constantly trying to trick me and telling me "DO IT. Just remember how awesome it can be.."

But I still here and still struggling. Hope that it will be easier soon.