New here, want to be better

Hi, I'm new here, I've been watching porn since I was in my 12, I almost in my 30, since the first time I think I was actually some addicted, I did it at least 6 times at day, since my 13 I have homosexual TOC, I'm questioning my sexuality almost every day, it is exhausting but been here is a first step to be better.

All start when sometimes I was tired to watch the same type of straight porn, all days changing categories, until one day I started to watch trans porn, and then gay porn, now I see every type of porn, the real problem starts when I discover the hypno sissy type, I was young I noticed that it can be a problem, so I just ignored, but later I move alone away from my family and then started to watching that kind again.

When I get horny, I want the filthy chat, so I start looking for women, then trans and then men, that is the order, but like always is difficult to find women, so I ended up talking with trans or men, most men because isn't easy to find trans either, the thing is a never really want to meet with anybody, but with that hypno videos, the things are changing and I know is a porn / masturbation problem because when I'm walking on the street I watch girls, I see guys and I can recognize their beauty but not in a sexual way, and that videos insert in my mind the idea of being penetrated but I tried that on my own several times and I don't really have some pleasure from there.

I tried some months 1 masturbation by week and with normal porn, it was difficult because I did a lot of edging and wasted a lot of hours of my day doing it, but the positive thing was I was feeling better with myself, more confident to be with woman (I always have a fear of not getting erected), but I can't do that because with the edging thing I wasted to much time, so I limited the access of porn to myself without putting a limit of masturbation, and I don't enter in any porn page, but I always find the ways to find videos or anything else in "normal" pages, and it starts with pictures, then some gif and videos.

So my main problem is the sissy hypno videos, the thoughts that it inserted my mind, I know I can be detoxified but I have to learn to watch no porn and control the impulse of masturbation to avoid the triggers. I noticed too, that they attacks when I'm feeling low, and the problem I normally feel low and have low self esteem because I don't have too much luck with girls, and the other thing I noticed is when I get the attention of a girl, all that thoughts disappear until something goes wrong and they attack again.

I apologies if maybe I offend someone with my words, my English is not very well, and I try my best writing a resume of that side of my life. And is the first time I wrote in a online forum. Thanks in advance, for any kind of advice or comment, and thank you for letting me be part of your community.