new here

Verissimus · Oct 7, 2018

Hi everyone,
I'm George, I've been abusing the PMO cycle for some years. It got really bad for me when I was midway through my PhD. I didn't really enjoy my work, I developed anxiety about it and I used porn as an escape. My personal life fell apart during the early stages of my studies as well. I'm an emigrant student, I alienated myself from my family a long time ago when I left my country to study. I had a pretty bad supervisor who just basically watched me slide into oblivion and did nothing. I can honestly barely look at him nowadays since he is the person that had the most contact with me in those years because of my alienation from anyone else and he never took any action to help me. My well being is my own burden to bear but I cannot find it in myself to forgive him for now. I went deeper into the rabbit hole than I am comfortable admitting. I'm on my way out but not quite out yet. I've stopped the abuse but relapses happen occasionally. I am a person that usually prides himself on his discipline, intellect, problem solving skills, concentration, work ethics, and devotion. PMO took most of those away from me for a long time. I'm now done with my PhD. I got a job that I love and I'm discovering my problem solving skills anew. I've been in a wonderful relationship for one and a half years and everything is going great. I'm determined to chase this devil from my shoulder once and for all. Wish me luck. I'd love to engage in this community and help others if I can too.

itsoverman · Oct 7, 2018

Hi George - I'm glad you're here, and happy that you're trying to get back into control of your life. Sounds like a lot of serious things going on for you, and PMO just makes them all worse. You're among friends here.

Contentful T · Oct 7, 2018

PMO is a nasty devil man wish you the best.

This thing only wants to rip all that is good from you and eat you alive.

Angus McGyver · Oct 7, 2018

I can somewhat relate to your story as my two years in a MS-program (on a Teaching Assistantship) at a US-University were among the hardest during my lifetime.
Living 8000 km away from home wasn't easy, especially not with a mean, fat and self-hating lab-assistant (taking out her frustrations on me), poor flat-mates, spoiled brats to college-kids from LA and Las Vegas as course-mates and little social life overall (due to hard work with research, exercise and other classes) I considered many times to drop out from the MS-program.
I usually resorted to alcohol and PMO as stress-reliefs and few things could have been more counter-productive for my part. I persisted throughout the entire program, wrote the thesis and shortly after that returned to Sweden and Europe again. After that, it would take me another 3 1/2 years of self-improvement and several relapses before I could quit PMO for good.
Many times, I wished I had done it years ago but I can't look back and mourn too much about it now. The only thing I can do now is feeling grateful for finally escaping the PMO-trap and look forward to what's ahead of me.

Verissimus · Oct 8, 2018

Hi, thank you all for answering, I really appreciate it. I'm still going strong after a tough weekend but I managed to not relapse.

Log in

new here

Verissimus Fapstronaut

itsoverman Fapstronaut

Contentful T Fapstronaut

Angus McGyver Fapstronaut

Verissimus Fapstronaut

Share This Page