Hello, Not sure where to begin or even know how I got here. After looking thru the forum seems like its more towards porn or masterbating addiction?. Quick history of me Im 47 married with 14yr old daughter. Marriage has been sexless and rocky the last 6yrs. I had 5yrs of just fapping to porn, from regular to fetishes, mostly watersports or chicks with dicks , 95% of it has been asian only, I d thats my prefrense. Before all this my sexlife was just regular intercourse, my wife only did oral with me like 2x in 10yrs of marriage, she was not into it. She let me give her oral tho. I was always fine with that kind of sexlife. Well our marriage ended up very rocky and the sex stopped. Still married and live with eachother with mutual respect, but the sex is not there so 'fapping' helped me for 5yrs, until the 6th year ,I was introduced to asian massage parlours from the lady that cuts my hair lol (I wont get into all how) but, I never thought id ever do or try it (I already had an idea what goes on at them, but never tried). I always been faithful to my wife, but the temptation was so strong I didnt want to miss this opportunity, well I did it and did get my happy ending, after i felt guilty and thought ok got that over with. Of course after few weeks the urge and feeling to go back came. Decided to go again, first it was once a month during my haircuts, then it started to become twice a month, i started looking into it more and found a forum that reviews other parlours to try, I started going once a week trying different places, i havnt watched porn anymore and was addicted to going to these parlours, well after a year of it , they started cracking down on them i freaked out and stopped, then on the forums I was then introduced to asian escorts. Again started once a month, then after 3 months started going more now im averaging once a week, its to a point where after I finish with one escort, im looking for my next to add my to do list, i already have some favorite I rotate with, this been going a year. Now its to where im looking to fullfill my fetishes, im looking for watersport or kinky borderline gay stuff, im not gay but its becoming disturbing now. Whats holding me back from doing it is because the ones i found that offer those cost twice as much, im using all my extra income for this hobby, i still pay my bills, rent, food gas and money to my daughter when she wants, all the extra I use on escorts which is only enough for once a week. I know im having a problem now when im trying to figure out where to get more money to fullfill my fetish. Til now my wife has no idea about this secret life that I have now. Anyway, I dont expect anyone to read all this lol, I just needed to let it out i guess, nobody knows about this except for members that I talk with on the escort forums. Not sure what or if im asking for help. Sorry if my grammer is off I dont bother going back and proofreading I just type fast and my mind races when im typing stuff like this.I Thanks for listening.
You have my understanding. It's time to quit with escorts... Please, start studying carefully what's happening in your mind > https://oceanrecoverycentre.com/2016/07/the-ultimate-guide-to-overcoming-internet-porn-addiction/ First time without porn will be stressful , but if you resist , in some months you will feel reborn. If the first times a person relapse easly, it's okay. The streaks becomes even longer , day by day. Don't porn anymore, it's better to struggle and at the last to relapse than to look at porn. No more instagram pictures of models. No more erotic imagines , erotic stories or erotic asmr. If you experience ''flatline'' and low libido , resist. > https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/por...l-size-and-or-libido-are-decreasing-flatline/ An effective weapon to overcome urges and thoughts : mindfulness. The brain will try to win you and to get some triggers for the seek of dopamine. Resist
First, before I welcome you, get any of that type of stuff off your devices. Use a deletion software that scrubs the drive clean. Also, seriously, seek professional help if you need to to stop anything with underage. You do not want to see that stuff and more importantly, you do not want to end up on the sex offender list for the rest of your life after doing 10 years in prison. Hey @Lowself247 , Welcome to NoFap! Of course, I read it all. Supporting each other means we support each other by reading posts. You've already been welcomed by other members. So, this is just one more friendly hello. Oh, and also, take a look at your profile page. You can post quick 140 character updates on how you are doing. In many ways, the profile posts are equally important to the forum posts. NoFap isn't here because sex is a bad thing. NoFap is here because of the harm porn addiction causes. .-- . .-.. -.-. --- -- . / .- --. .- .. -. D2L PS: Oh, yeah! Don't forget to download the free "Getting Started" guide. You can find it at https://www.nofap.com/getting-started/
Welcome to the community mate glad you could join us, anything we can assist you with just let us know, hope you have a wonderful time here at nofap and all the best in achieving all your desired goals. Take care
Thanks for the warm welcome! Sorry Drab, I didnt mean like underage girls no way lol, as long 18 and up, I would not want that kind of stuff associated to me. Life wold be over lol So yea, I been fighting urges to see another escort. I thought I could control it cause I was going only once a month. I knew something wasnt going right when I went 2x in one week and couldnt wait til next week. I know I should stop, but even if I do stop, in my mind i will never to be able to have sex again, unless I divorce and start another relationship again, I dont want to go thru all that. Seems like my wife is contempt with not having sex anymore, when I tried with her I dont like her reactions like shes disgusted or no desire puts me off or I feel like im forcing her or making her do something she does not want so I leave her alone, I still have needs, I thought I could get by with just masterbating, I did for 5yrs, now that I experienced escorts its different, if I go back to porn it will just drive me to call an escort because I want the real thing.
Hey, welcome to the NoFap community : ) It's nice to see you here fighting the good fight alongside us! First let me go ahead and drop some helpful links for you: Getting Started Guide / Forum Rules / How to Use the NoFap forums/ Glossary/ NoFap Panic button/ Set up your day counter / Rebooting Resources/ Accountability groups (new!)/ About NoFap/ Support NoFap Here is just some advice: First and foremost please take a careful look at each section in the forum, there may be something(s) you will find to be of big help to you. Secondly I advise you to be active onyour profile(as there a few active people in the profile section). Please start by choosing an avatar and then begin posting frequent status posts to show you're active and needing support/encouragement. The forum has got a neat little feature that shows freshly posted statuses for all users to see. People will find your profile and give you support. There’s a portion of people who love communicating in the profile section..(it should be and is )mostly spportive talk but it doesn't hurt to deviate from supportive conversations. It would be great to have you join in and become part of the team! We support others in the threads, profile posts, and journals/reboot logs. Once you receive some support, please be sure and be grateful to the member for the help/support you received and consider giving some in return to anyone you wish. Thirdly, you should highly consider creating a public journal/reboot log (in the appropriate sectionfor you) to write about your days in depth for us members to follow along on your journey and offer support to you on. Please start your journal in the correct section and with that, also try your best to post in the correct sections as it is mandatory and would be helpful to the mods who organize the forum. : ) Last but not least: Good luck on your journey here, make sure to really give it a try with all your heart!
It doesn’t seem like you want to quit? More like you just want to go less? I’m sure you realize with an addiction less always becomes more. There’s a thread on here called escort challenge, you might want to look up. I don’t know what your marriage is like, but I know that your addiction has had a negative impact on your wife. women have a hard time separating sex from the rest of their life, so if she’s unhappy or been unhappy for a long time it stands to reason that she would have no desire for sex.
As hard as it may be, you got to work on your marriage or end it, see a marriage counselor. Talk about your feelings together with a counselor or on your own if she's not willing to work on it. That would be a tough one, I'd say harder than a porn addiction, but your putting yourself at too many risk.
