New to nofap, I need to change my life around

Hi, I am 28 and I have been following the site for a while, but just decided to post now. I grew up with porn since I was 13 or so and I feel 15 years of porn use can really damage your clear vision on sexuality and girls. I had to use more and more extreme porn to get excited and at worst the PMO sessions could last for hours, a few times a day. I think I was just in general dissatisfacted with life so I felt I deserve porn and PMO. I also did not have a regular girlfriend for long stretches of time so I lost touch with how it is like to be with a "real person". The problem is also I never really fell in love with a girl (all the experiences were with girls I was not really into but thought that would change after we got physical - of course it didn't) and didn't feel the real need for sex so I would just make out with them and go home to PMO. Fast forward to recent times - I had ED problems for few years now and that is how I found this site and one of the probable causes for my problems. I feel like PMOing is not the only problem, but I feel I lost sensation on my penis due to edging. When I am at home I just feel a need to touch it and just recently I became fully aware of it and try to avoid it. For the last year I was PMOing very rarely since I wanted to stay on a streak but would feel off the wagon every few months. I have been on and off on PMO, but managed to avoid it for the last month or so. Now the situation is completely different in girls department as well. I met a girl who is so awesome I fell in love with her completely (never had that feeling in my life) and she tells me she is in love with me to. But of course things get weird because the last 2 times I couldnt perform (the last time I didn't even try to have sex with her since I felt ashamed ED would kick). So this last time she told me she is super excited about me but she really needs to have sex (and that she cant continue this way) So the combination of my bad experiences with girls (and inexperience since I always resorted to PMO instead of sex). Our situation is already difficult since she is in a relationship she doesn't want to be in but somehow stays because of the kids, plus the cigarettes and booze dont help with my performance. I am so madly in love with her, I am afraid I will lose her if dont "fix myself". I just feel all the problems I kept avoiding for years piled up in this situation. My plan now is to quit smoking and drinking (but I abused recently), starting doing more exercise and talking honestly to the girl, but I just feel so bad now. Any advice much appreciated :/