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nightlife and friends don't make it easy

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by bezim, Oct 20, 2018.

  1. Oct 20, 2018 #1
    bezim

    bezim Fapstronaut

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    This process just can't be easy...
    I'm at 40+ days with no PMO and no searching for girls in social media, and really like my results.
    I'm starting to understand that I want a connection with a woman, and sex is not the goal at all, and it's not something I need to look for every time I see a female, it's just my brain and its addiction.

    Yesterday night I went out with friends, and there were many very attractive girls, and I fought very hard not to stare, or even check them out, but sometimes my eyes connect with that gorgeous girl and it takes me a second before I realize I am doing something wrong.

    My friends are also the worst. They always tell me "check out this girl", and always searching for hot girls to stare at them. They are addicted pretty bad, and I can't tell them that I try to avoid that, because I don't want to come off as weird, so I look at that girl they tell me to check out, and then I try to fight really hard with those sexual thoughts.
    And all those talking about "she is hot", "check her out", just makes me objectify women, and it is something that I am fighting with.

    I don't want this to fuck up my progress, but I can't avoid girls in real life, or avoid my friends...I thought it was getting easier, but I guess I was wrong...

    Any advice about that?

    Thanks.
     
    bezim, Oct 20, 2018
    bezim, Oct 20, 2018
    #1
    Contentful T and Deleted Account like this.
  2. Oct 20, 2018 #2
    Deleted Account

    Deleted Account Guest

    You're right to question that habit of checking out girls.

    What if you allow yourself to look at girls, but only directly in the eyes?
     
    Deleted Account, Oct 20, 2018
    Deleted Account, Oct 20, 2018
    #2
    Contentful T likes this.
  3. Oct 20, 2018 #3
    Meditation Monk

    Meditation Monk Fapstronaut

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    You have to shift your focus towards something else. Kinda like meditating. lol
     
    Meditation Monk, Oct 20, 2018
    Meditation Monk, Oct 20, 2018
    #3
    Contentful T likes this.
  4. Oct 20, 2018 #4
    Meditation Monk

    Meditation Monk Fapstronaut

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    It is difficult to "describe" the situation since my withdrawal symptoms are gone. But now I kinda see the light at the other side of the tunnel and I plan on not going back to my roots again. lol.
     
    Meditation Monk, Oct 20, 2018
    Meditation Monk, Oct 20, 2018
    #4
    Contentful T likes this.
  5. Oct 20, 2018 #5
    Contentful T

    Contentful T Fapstronaut

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    Tell 'em straight up how you feel about them doing that.

    I once had to hang around a guy who was into checking females out like that in public. Driving and shopping. He was the worst too. Like it is natural to an extent to look at people you find attractive...but making sleezy remarks and staring for minutes? I am sorry but we aren't hanging out anymore.
     
    Contentful T, Oct 20, 2018
    Contentful T, Oct 20, 2018
    #5
  6. Oct 20, 2018 #6
    Contentful T

    Contentful T Fapstronaut

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    Nice!
     
    Contentful T, Oct 20, 2018
    Contentful T, Oct 20, 2018
    #6
  7. Oct 20, 2018 #7
    Meditation Monk

    Meditation Monk Fapstronaut

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    Thanks. If you need someone to talk too just start a conversation on my wall message on my main profile page. lol.
     
    Meditation Monk, Oct 20, 2018
    Meditation Monk, Oct 20, 2018
    #7
  8. Oct 20, 2018 #8
    Westsidejimmy

    Westsidejimmy Fapstronaut

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    Brother,

    I'm 48 years old and I have friends my age that still do this. It can be really uncomfortable. I have found the best way to deal with it is just observe what your buddies are doing and make fun of their inability to control themselves even if you keep it to yourself. Girls will pick up on that que. Trust me.

    I just listened to an old Andrew Dice Clay clip from decades ago where he calls out a dude in the audience for staring at a girls ass. "You act like you've never seen a girls ass before like she's a fucking alien you fucking jerkoff."

    Don't be the jerkoff. Be the guy that calls out the jerkoff.
     
    Westsidejimmy, Oct 20, 2018
    Westsidejimmy, Oct 20, 2018
    #8

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