No friends. No gf in 5 years.

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Deleted Account, Jan 19, 2019.

  1. Mibesti

    Mibesti New Fapstronaut

    Do you mean male friends? I don't have the desire to have “buddies“. Most men are so repulsive in many ways. It is all about competition and putting down others.

    Women are totally different though. I am lucky enough to have a job where I interact daily with them and they are fantastic. I love almost everything about them. They are the perfect buddies, but we are obsessed for sex, so we generally don't appreciate other qualities women have in abundance.
    Deleted Account likes this.
  2. I don't think it's men that are obsessed with sex. I think it's porn addicts, which are mostly males. Maybe I'm wrong, but I'm getting a serious nice guy vibe from you... There's nothing wrong with being a man.
    justafriend likes this.
  3. Mibesti

    Mibesti New Fapstronaut

    Nope, I sincerely think women are fantastic, and I am more masculine than most guys in real life. I understand perfectly the concept of nice guy. Nope, I am not one of those.

    The truth is more men than women are a disgrace. Don't get me wrong. I think we have very low standards for women. As long she is willing to fuck us, we fall for it although she can have many flaws, but women are generally much more palatable in human relations and daily life than men.
    Deleted Account likes this.
  4. immadothis

    immadothis Fapstronaut

    they will approuch you, just keep nofap up and work on yourself
    Deleted Account likes this.
  5. That's what I've heard, but can't confirm, personally. It's worth finding out.
    immadothis likes this.
  6. My mistake. I'm a firm believer that all this shit was caused by men dropping the ball, so I'm on high-alert for those "nice guys." lol. I really want to become one of those "good men" that women always use to wonder where they went. Guys like that can save this mess before it's too late.
    justafriend, immadothis and Mibesti like this.
  7. Minsc

    Minsc Fapstronaut

    Easier said than done, here's how I'm attempting to be.

    -Not worry about having no girlfriend or not having sex. Meeting and getting together with a lady is still in the cards, I just have other things to focus on.
    -Getting better at my current job or moving along and finding another job.
    -Improving my education. In my later 30's I can better see the value of getting into various short courses.
    -Seek out people closer to my own age.
    -Carry on figuring out where I'm going.
    -Know what doesn't work and stay away from it.
    -Staying still leads us nowhere.
    -Nice guy? Good man? Be nice and good, but not too much a pleaser.
    Dimmed_haze and Deleted Account like this.
  8. pablos86

    pablos86 Fapstronaut

    Do not worry I have no normal relationship with a girl for 10 years :-/, I've had sex with my ex-girlfriend over a year ago, all porn ... ruined me and my relationship with women :-( ... you have to give it up once and for all and never come back to it ... we must be strong and everything will change !
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  9. motion2082

    motion2082 Fapstronaut

    I feel like this is a problem for men in general. I'm 36 and have 2 mates who I see probably twice a year. I wouldn't even know how to make friends these days. I get my social kicks from people I work with. That's enough social stimulation for me. The rest of the time I hang out with my dog and enjoy being by myself
    Dimmed_haze and Deleted Account like this.
  10. Minsc

    Minsc Fapstronaut

    Thirty seven here, it certainly can be tough. I believe it's wise to keep getting ourselves out there. Since I'm not a natural socializer there's only one way to get better, practice. A big help I find is to introduce myself to people when at a gathering. In the past I'd wait until people would come to me. That tended to lead to a lot of waiting. Even if one doesn't consider themselves religious I recommend going to church. It's a gathering of people and a good place to practice introducing oneself and converse.
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  11. Johnnybgud3

    Johnnybgud3 Fapstronaut

    A resource that has immensely helped me is a podcast called Shrink for the Shy Guy, he's also written three books that I'm working my way through now and they are extremely helpful. His message will help get yourself together and help you become confident in talking to women. I'm in a weird place myself because I'm taking a year off sex and dating, I've been in and out of relationships for the last 10 years I've never been single so I really never worked on myself. Make sure you have good idea of who you are before you go and share yourself with someone. Authenticity and confidence are key.
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  12. RaHorus

    RaHorus Fapstronaut

    This is exactly what I will do too
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  13. LilD

    LilD Fapstronaut

    The point is socialization. Showing social interest in other people (asking generic questions about their lives and listening to what they have to say) is the way to make friends.

    You should be afraid of failing. You will fail. That's how it works.

    You say, "hi," first, and then a bunch of those pointless questions. =)

    The best advice I got from my friends is to get a life first, get some friends, fix my life, and then worry about getting women. I think that when women you approach will find out that you don't have friends and job that may indeed scare them away. That's what they should do, actually. They usually want a partner that they can rely on, not someone who they would have to care about constantly (they would get a pet in that case). So, your worries are valid, and you should indeed prioritize your tasks, which will delay the moment you'll have a girlfriend.

    But still, I say that you should approach women to make friends with them. That will help you get used to talking to them and at the same time you don't have to put the pressure on yourself, like trying to look better than you are.
  14. yyz33

    yyz33 Fapstronaut

    Yeah it would be tough to meet women or people in general without a job or anything going on. When you engage with shit you are interested in or passionate about it builds self esteem. When you have shit going on you are engaged in like some occupation or goal, you will naturally want to share these experiences with other people. This will make you want to be more social. This will genuinely attract people. Not that attracting people is the only goal.. but living a good life is and having good people around is a part of that I have found. I would get literally any job. Even like some warehouse job or something for now. Any job is better than no job. No job is not a good place to be I have been there. Maybe temp agency or CL. You will feel a metric fuckton better with job. Nofap alone will not solve the issues you are talking about. I know from experience. Getting a job and setting some goals for things in your life that you want will.
    Deleted Account likes this.
  15. justafriend

    justafriend Fapstronaut

    Okay, don’t laugh... What would you think about a book group? I hear you re: small talk getting old fast. I like book groups because I can have more meaningful convos, yet I’m not obligated to be new best friends with everyone. Plus, when you read a book, everyone in the group meets the same “imaginary friends,” so it’s like you have a shared community to gossip about right there...and you don’t even get in trouble for it!
  16. TurnTides

    TurnTides Fapstronaut

    Be the person that others would want as a friend. Knowing yourself and improving on your mental and physical health will take you a long way. You might want to do a bit of self-discovery, find things you like to do, try new things you haven't done before.

    You sound discouraged because you lack what others think gives someone value. Males often find value in purpose, getting a job might help, or at least give you a starting point. Thought about going back to school perhaps? Any kind of subject you have a passion for? Maybe you should go back to school to find passion in something. Women will come after. Just like "be the person others would want as a friend", be the guy that girls want to date (strong:mentally/physically, independent, confident in himself).

    I thought the same way as you a few years ago: no job, not many hobbies, kind of just withered away a bit. You have to force yourself to adapt and change, or you'll be left behind, and not make any progress.

    Just remember, men aren't born, men are forged through experiences and hardships.
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