No urge for PM, but too horny, need advice ASAP

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by whocares, Dec 22, 2015.

  1. whocares

    whocares Guest

    Hey buddies
    I have absolutely no urge to PM, but I am too horny, today is the second day I feel a hot and rush blood flows through my veins ALL DAY LONG, I am considering acquiring a service from a prostitute!

    Question:
    1. Is it going ruin my reboot process and get me back to PM addiction again?
    2. If so(i.e: Yes, it's gonna ruin it), what am I suppose to do NOW?
    Any suggestions in general in this matter are welcomed :)
     
  2. JoeinMD

    JoeinMD Fapstronaut

    It's just the opposite of ruining your reboot process. The fact that you're letting your brain rewire your urges and desires in neural pathways that do not involve PMO is the very healing process itself. I would think that those who have seemingly, relatively, easy reboot periods do not have this same rewiring going on - the opportunity simply doesn't avail itself all the time. Not all reboots are equal. Congrats on yours - a lot of powerful healing is taking place, if you keep letting it. Do you really want to rewire these desires back to prostitutes? Then, you will have really rebooted yourself -- if slavery to prostitute addiction is the reboot baseline you are going for. Choose the life you want now - what you choose now will fill your tomorrows with its consequences.
     
    Last edited: Dec 22, 2015
  3. whocares

    whocares Guest

    Thanks, glad to hear :)
    I don't have any partner right now, and I really really don't think I will have one anytime soon(due to my busy studying hours). I don't see another option, except prostitutes, Any suggestions in this department?
     
  4. chris4nj

    chris4nj Fapstronaut

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    Breathing and meditation.
    I know it's not a sexual release. I would give yourself at least a day or two until the horny-ness subsides. Then make a choice from a calm state.
     
    WarriorScarr likes this.
  5. bm12

    bm12 Fapstronaut

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    Take control of your own urges. Animals acts on urges and instincts. You're better than that. You don't NEED the release. Remind yourself that you will NOT physically drop dead with out that release. Your body will essentially get over it.
     
    SnowWhite, WarriorScarr and whocares like this.
  6. JoeinMD

    JoeinMD Fapstronaut

    It really depends what you want for your life, dude. I thought you were going for a reboot? Do you really want to find the perfect girl for you one day and you have nothing but prostitutes in your mind (brain wired) and in your blood (heat of lust always goes there to prostitutes even with a partner, as in when GF is away or sick or not in mood or you've had an argument or she's visiting her family or pregnant, etc.). Do you want to be one of the married guys on this site years from now who could never break the prostitute habit and have destroyed their lives and marriages and all their relationships before that? Choose your life today that will affect all your tomorrows.
     
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  7. whocares

    whocares Guest

    No, absolutely fucking not, I don't want that kind of life. Thanks for drawing the big picture buddy.
    I am calling off the prostitute plan, I have to find some way to cool down myself, though. But it totally sucks when you can not sit still for 30 min and all you feel is the hot blood flows in your laps and knees all the time :|
     
  8. JoeinMD

    JoeinMD Fapstronaut

    Dude, try the ice pack method. Put an ice pack atop your scrotum/balls with your cloth underwear as a barrier. It will deliver a slow, cool, penetrating, relieving numbing that will quench the fire in your balls and directly affect the thoughts you are thinking, diminishing them and eliminating them even, giving you relief. The key here is to give your willpower a break. Your willpower is like a muscle, it will reach muscle burn and failure if given constant, nonstop resistance without a moment of rest. Use the ice pack even if you think all the temptation is in your head. Believe me, your balls, even if not aching, have much to do with your thoughts here. If you don't have an ice bag, use a makeshift Ziplock or some such, but cover it with a cloth barrier - don't put ice directly on skin. Report back.
     
    whocares likes this.
  9. Or Ice Cold shower. Before I started this process I didn't even know I could direct my mind to think about what I wanted to think about. I felt like a prisoner in my body at times. Allowing my brain to think and even act sometimes without mindful consideration. Work on learning to direct your thoughts. Pick something in your room and focus on it and nothing else for 20 to 30 seconds. Practice, practice, practice and up the time after you can due 20. It's like learning to run a marathon. It won't be long and you should be able to put your mind on what ever your after in life. Once you can control your thoughts your PMO reboot will be so much easier.
     
  10. JoeinMD

    JoeinMD Fapstronaut

    I actually differentiate between a cold shower and the ice pack method. With the shower, one gets agitated and tense and worked up by the cold, most of the water is hitting the body and not so much the scrotum anyway, and having one's junk out and swinging wildly all over the place is a recipe for arousal as well. None of this happens with the ice experience as I described it in my post: rather, the ice pack method produces an experience that is restful and calming (not exciting lust), within a controlled small area (not the entire epidermis), the organs are away and secure within one's underwear (not swinging or being touched in a shower or stimulated in anyway), and the cold is slow and soothing and comforting (not bracing, eye-popping, and blood curdling as in showers - all recipes for excitement). Ice pack method is also useful when trying to sleep at night - you can't bring a cold shower to bed, and the shock of the cold shower can keep you awake (like caffeine), with the temptations only building up again -- keeping you up all night. With ice pack, you sleep like a baby.

    The cold shower is indeed useful for other purposes - like building stamina for enduring discomfort, thus translating into building one's stamina and tolerance of discomfort and pain in many other areas of life. However, this latter goal was not the purpose of my post. My purpose was to numb temptation, to quell the lusty heat in the groin (or blue balls even), and calming the wildly heated thoughts in the brain. Even when one thinks it's all in the head and not the balls, it's amazing how the ice-pack treatment on the groin area still drives out the lusty thoughts and temptations that exhaust one's willpower into a PMO downfall. Although, for some guys, a cold shower can indeed benefit this way depending how they employ the shower and how it suits their own physiology.
     
    Last edited: Dec 22, 2015
  11. daydream_nation

    daydream_nation Fapstronaut

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    I second the ice cold shower.

    It doesn't have to be a full on twenty minute torture session, at the moment I just end my normal showers with 30 seconds to a minute of cold water at the end.

    I come out of the bathroom feeling like a super hero! Also there are lots of health benefits, give it a google...
     
  12. whocares

    whocares Guest

    Yeeessss, The ice pack totally helped!! that hot blood flow significantly reduced after some time, after I put ice on my balls as you said!!
    And also my thoughts chilled down a bit, this horny-ness was killing me.
    Thank you :)
     
    JoeinMD likes this.
  13. JoeinMD

    JoeinMD Fapstronaut

    And, don't you think that with "practical tools" like this, among other tools too, one can actually make this PMO recovery very possible? The trick is not to forget to employ the tools.
     
  14. whocares

    whocares Guest

    Yes indeed, good point. :)
     
  15. SnowWhite

    SnowWhite Fapstronaut

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    YES.
    The whole idea of rewiring is that you learn to handle your urges, and to canalize your energies into a meaningful life.

    Or do you think that spending money in a sex parlour is a meaningful life?
    Will you be happy to tell your colleagues tomorrow in school or the office?
    If yes, then continue. The girls will be very thankful you for providing them a wealthy life ;)
    But just to not expect that any of them will respect you, or treat you like a friend.
    You are customer, nothing more.

    You are only on Day 2! You are still in the chaser effect.
    I takes around 3-5 days until you settle.

    If you overcome the urge today, you will be really thankful tomorrow.
    Give it a try.
    Come one! One more day!
     
  16. whocares

    whocares Guest

    Good points, the heat has gone and I am thinking more rational right now. I am glad that I didn't get through it(paying a prostitute), I don't like to be that kind of man and I have to thank, you nice folks here who helped me to get my senses back.
    Actually, I am in my day 8. :D
     
  17. SnowWhite

    SnowWhite Fapstronaut

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    OK, you have time and much (!) money for prostitutes, but you say you have no time for a partner.
    That sounds like a bluff self-manipulation.
    And I even don't believe that you are studying that much ;)

    I will tell you the truth: A prostitute has the big plus that she will not reject you.
    However, a woman might reject you, and this is what you are fearing. So you even don't try. Therefore you prefer the prostitute.

    In fact, believe me, something is not in balance in your life. Therefore, it's better to work on yourself.

    Women are far more easier to handle then many men believe. In fact, you don't need to do anything. Even more, the less you do, the better. It makes you even more attractive. Believe an 43 old man ;)

    Pro tip for the next days: Go out in a dance school and learn dancing. You will have some great time.
     
    bm12 likes this.
  18. whocares

    whocares Guest

    I totally like you honest opinion snowwhite(from this post and the other discussion you and I had some time ago) :)
    I didn't lie about the not having time because from a logical point of view, there is only 1 phone call needed to get a prostitute at your door step. but in order to have a partner you have to go to places to hang around, pursue girls and blah blah blah, but I don't have that kind of time right now because my final exams are starting in 2 weeks and IT IS REALLY SCARY:eek: and I need to study everyday starting tomorrow!!
    I started the NoFap program about 40 days ago, before that: definitely yes! I was too afraid to get rejected by a girl that I wouldn't even dare to think about asking a girl out!
    But after my first streak I saw a girl that I liked(which is very rare!!) and I didn't even think about "What if she reject me?" without a blink I went and ask her out, unfortunately, a lucky bastard had her already, and she rejected me very politely and with kindness, because she has already had a boyfriend(I saw the boy later that day with her, holding hands) and interestingly I didn't have any bad feeling and even I was glad that I made a move(instead of wondering about "what would she say if I ask her out?")
    Right now, I don't care if I get rejected, thanks to NoFap program things are simple right now, "I like a girl -> I ask her out" :)
    I am curious... do you have any idea, what it is that is missing?
    What do you mean by "work on yourself"? which part of myself?
    I wish :)
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 22, 2015
  19. SnowWhite

    SnowWhite Fapstronaut

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    Remember: Rebooting is not only about abstinence. Abstinence sets tremendous energies free, but the idea is that you learn to use those energies for your own goals! For a meaningful and fulfilled life!

    So what are you goals? What do you actually want from life? What are your big dreams?
    And what stops you from pursuing them?

    Pro Tip: Lie back and just meditate. Relax. Let your thoughts wander. Then imagine yourself in a situation you really dream of. Be very specific. A detailed picture. And imagine that this is like being in a protected shell, a warm and safe place, where nobody can disturb you.

    Do this every day in the morning. 5 Minutes. Get a shower and while you are drying, do this 5 minutes. It's like a daily teeth brush for your soul!
     
    whocares likes this.
  20. whocares

    whocares Guest

    Sounds nice, I am going to give it a try :)
     

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