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NoFap And Getting Girls

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by Razielcreed, Dec 24, 2014.

  1. Razielcreed

    Razielcreed Fapstronaut

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    It is common that alot of you ask about how can this NoFap thing make me good with woman ,
    Nofap Benefits are much more related to "Natural benefits" than "alpha males" characteristics, but their are alot's of Fapstronauts who aren't good with women so this leaves us the question , how is this related ? i think , NoFap is a mental muscle that needs to be fueled with goals and positive beliefs to grow , and Talking to Girls is also A muscle to develop by itself as well just like any other activity ,/you cannot become van halen in 2 weeks;) , you must go through that pain of practising / relapsing to learn and to find a True reason for why you are Doing this to make it work.
    what do you guys think , how is nofap related to getting good at picking up chiks ? is it a push up ,? a confidence builder ?
     
  2. Whatever

    Whatever Fapstronaut

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    Nofap = No waste of energy, no-sabotage of physiological homeostatis and increase of self-mastery through inhibition of involuntary impulses.

    Basically, by not wasting energy through pmo you have more energy to work with, and by practicing self-control you develop a greater ability to act in accordance with your goals. These two increase your ability to maximize your potential and efficiency in all areas including relationships.
     
    pornisnotrealsex likes this.
  3. Penag

    Penag Guest

    I agree with Whatever, no pmo helps you to preserve your energy, to redirect and to use it wisely, with greater ability and emotional control. In the case of sex for instance, if you are really convinced that the only way for you to have sex is by meeting girls, I can ensure you that you'll put more effort in it.

    Recently, and this is the first time in years, I made a strong commit in no pmo, I have been thinking a lot on my triggers and how I can improve this journey... 4 days later I kissed a girl during a party. I don't know if it is luck, and I still have a lot to improve but it was very unusual for me. It pushes me to continue this way.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 24, 2014
  4. elhombre93

    elhombre93 Fapstronaut

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    You get more energy,I maybe on a short time, but today i run like never i had more energy. Maybe because i was fully rested or maybe i wanted to do something big. But this morning i had more energy and spirit
     
  5. In my opinion getting Girls is a skill all by itself. You can adjust Your body Language, practice on a deeper, clearer voice. You can study social status, practice on approaching Girls in many different environments. Challenge yourself. Write a list over skills you want to master and learn from what others have done. Read some books, ask someone who is doing better than you for advice. But no matter how good you are at getting Girls nofap is important.

    When im not on nofap it feels like I am faking the Whole thing. You do still have the skills and you can still do pretty good. But whats the point if you feel emotional dead inside, have to fake Your confidence etc? In my experience nofap Clears the way for rapid improvements. Please understand on a deep Level that you have to do something you fear to take back what fear have taken from you.
     
  6. Penag

    Penag Guest

    I totally agree with you. Thanks for sharing.
     
  7. Razielcreed

    Razielcreed Fapstronaut

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    Wonderful thoughts , that's totally it , without Nofap you can't connect , or feel other people's energy , or make Jokes/laugh etc
     
  8. "Getting girls" sounds like "looking for living sex dolls".
    There are some girls you can "get". It's very easy indeed. But this game is soon getting very boring.
     
  9. Verhart

    Verhart Fapstronaut

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    I think that when you're into P it changes your psyche in some way. Thus, when talking to a girl you treat her more like an object and not a real person with feelings etc. It may not appear obvious for you, but I think girls can easly tell the diffrence between a guy who is really interested in her personality and a guy who just sees her sexual side. Plus for me personaly it is hard to look them in the eye when I've fapped recently, as I just feel that they can read from my eyes/face what have I done and what I'm thinking about.
     
  10. Penag

    Penag Guest

    True !
    When you look at P, it's probably unconscious but you want to "get" girls as if they were objects. Meanwhile when you are on nofap, you feel more confident and you want to interact with them.
     
  11. scotey73

    scotey73 Guest

    Personally, I don't believe "getting girls" should be a goal in anyone's recovery. What are we looking for, self-improvement, or an ego boost?

    Once we work on ourselves first, and face our own personal demons, we can start working on forming deeper emotional connections not only with women, but with people in general. Let's be careful not to let women become a "prize" for all of our hard work.
     
    rifrafrod likes this.
  12. dcchristopher

    dcchristopher Fapstronaut

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    I feel that NoFap is a helpful tool for stopping PMO. The journaling and accountability is great. It really can help and like you said Raz, finding the real purpose for why your doing this. I look at it this way. I was created in such a way to be attracted to women. There is just no way of getting around that. Those of us who have become addicted to PMO have directed our minds and energy to fapping. It has become a part of who we are and in this place we are learning to undo that programming. Recognizing it's only fantasy and does not lead to healthy relationships.

    So if I am undoing something I have added to my life, it is only natural that I will begin to return to that which is natural. Having relationships with women is what is natural. This still does not guarantee that we will be good with women because first you have to understand what women want. Most men do not know what women want. There is a centerness and process of attraction. Most guys screw this up because they are not centered and comfortable with who they are as a man. There is a masculine and feminine energy when it comes to attraction and you have to understand how it works, which in a way is natural. Our irrational thoughts and feelings are usually what screw it up.

    All in all I feel that nofap is a great beginning for learning hoe to become the man you want to be. To find your confidence and center. We may need more support outside of nofap depending on our circumstances. Finding your purpose in life can be one of the best confidence builders, waking up happy and loving what you do. This will attract women into your life for sure. We can't expect someone to give us something we don't have ourselves, so I see this as growing who I am as a person and becoming the best me. So it's all aspects of my life, not just fapping. Peace
     
  13. purity

    purity Fapstronaut

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    I think learning how to interact and socialize with people regardless of gender is the more important thing to focus on. Of course people who are doing nofap are going to be, I don't want to say desperate because that is putting people down and the effects of PMO addiction cause this desperation no doubt, so let's say very enthusiastic on finding relations with the gender they are sexually attracted to.

    Being better at dealing with people makes you so much more attractive as a person, to focus just on improving your social skills with women is kind of shallow IMO, I suppose if one has a fear of women then you may want to focus on interacting more with women, but the complete 'skillset' for succeeding at life and personal/romantic relationships comes from the ability to talk to ALL people regardless of gender.

    Also, when you don't squander your sexual energy, your hormones are at high levels, your attitude is great, you look energetic and motivated, and people want to be around you. The opposite gender is naturally 'pulled' to you because that is the way of NATURE.

    My 2 cents.
     
    Last edited: Dec 26, 2014
  14. Walk the Path

    Walk the Path Fapstronaut

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    Well said! Thanks for your insight.
     
  15. This thread is getting interesting :) wise Words guys! I am personally very open minded when it comes to women. I dont see the problem in dating several Girls at once etc. I wont go too much in detail on my philosophy because it may trigger something. Im a fan of being completely honest about Your intentions about the relationship from the beginning so you dont end up hurting anybody ( yourself included). If getting Girls is what you want I cant see the problem in doing yust that. Yust make sure to tell her what you are up too so she doesnt end up dissapointed. Im not afraid of getting into a serious relationship neither. Im pretty sure I will tell my future girlfriend about my mindset and discuss where we should Draw the lines. My toughts may sound contoversial and im pretty sure I could have put it in a better way. I know a lot of People will dissagree With me but what I am trying to say is that anything is possible. Be honest, genuine and respect People. What I suggest isnt for everyone. You have to be open minded about it. If you find out something causes negative effects then quit doing it :)
     
  16. Razielcreed

    Razielcreed Fapstronaut

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    Absolutely mate , To learn how to interact with women or people in general you must become the best version of yourself first:
    -eliminate all negetive thoughts about yourself (depression-negative feedback-self torture through thoughts)
    -Try new things , Explore ( if you play guitar try drums or arts ,)
    -Try to know yourself better (who your are and what you deserve out of life)
    -Learn how to Focus , listen and calm down in stressful situations(best tip :slow breathing makes you feel in the moment)
    -Workout , stay in good shape ,(some people can't feel ttheir feet when they are walking) put yourself in a situation where you can endure body pain (Boxing / Parkour) etc
    -Meditate , pray , or take some time off alone to think about your life and where it's going(it's great to have some alone time every now and then)
    -Learn to do public speaking(when your heart starts pounding keep talking until the fear goes away at that moment remember that your building a new Muscle it's not fear it's just a chemical reaction in your body that pops up when your doing something your not familiar with(Human DNA hard wired fear of the unknown)
    -Do not focus on building one skill at a time , the purpose of becoming the best version of yourself is all about learning different skills at the same time (learn to do everything by yourself) kill procrastination
    -Learning how to interact with the opposite sex is not something everyone knows how to do , some people are naturally great in it , the majority must work on it (i mean at some point of your life you want a specific girl to marry or get) learn search watching seminars about female and Male psycholgy (how the brain works etc)takes bootcamps .
    -Tecknology's purpose is to Facilitate and ease your way out of life and stimulates you in many ways that it makes you procrastinate and forget about who you are from real mother nature , think of it as 900 hundred yrs ago when we were supposed to Hunt the Lion for dinner , and step up to talk to the tribe as a leader to move the Camp to another location cuz of a dinosaur invasion etc etc hhh :cool:
    I could go forever writing about this hh hope it helps
     
    Last edited: Dec 26, 2014
  17. Razielcreed

    Razielcreed Fapstronaut

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    that's cool mindset bro , everyone should be open minded ,
    the whole Self development thing is all about expanding yourself and learning things that benefits you (Be like water don't get stuck in one or two thoughts)
    Never fall in the Illusion of(I know everything now i need to stop doing this)
    No , improving yourself is an endless journey that you take as you age
     
  18. Challenge Ready

    Challenge Ready Fapstronaut

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    I totally agree with this! Great insight, and great motivation to stay the course and achieve my goals. Thanks.
     
  19. Challenge Ready

    Challenge Ready Fapstronaut

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    dcchristopher: Wow. This is great. "All in all I feel that nofap is a great beginning for learning how to become the man you want to be. To find your confidence and center." This is exactly how I feel about it. "Finding your purpose in life can be one of the best confidence builders, waking up happy and loving what you do. This will attract women into your life for sure." Great stuff.
     
  20. Razielcreed

    Razielcreed Fapstronaut

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    dude , nobudy said that , we'r talking about how Nofap can make you motivated to do anything especially with relationships , your sex drive will be focused on real life persons no screen pixel's anymore .
    yes surely doing nofap for the objective of getting girls will destroy you , never set girls for a goal ,they'll come and go every now and then in your process .
     
    Last edited: Dec 29, 2014

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