PMO was my only escape from the alienation I felt with modern life. I didn't see how things could ever get better, but at least I had the dopamine rush of porn to look forward to. I was chasing an ever-diminishing high nearly every night, but eventually porn just couldn't cut it anymore, so I decided to try NoFap. When I'm on NoFap, I no longer feel depressed, which may seem like a positive thing, but that's only because my sexual urges overpower my brain. I don't suddenly become a happy and productive member of society. I'm still depressed and disconnected at heart, but my biological urges temporarily override those feelings. My only social motivation becomes sexual, which I don't see as conducive to improving my mental health. At this point, I feel either suicidally depressed after ejaculation, or I can't stop thinking about sex all the time...
I understand I was there like 3 weeks ago. Something I learned is relapsing isn't the end of the world I would try to keep things in perspective. Obviously relapse is something to be avoided but if it happens try to not get super down on yourself you are human keep your self esteem. The book Release your Breaks is good. I understand I have been there and I have felt like that after relapse please take care of yourself. Consider mental health professional. If relapse just make adjustment like p blockers or something and move on and set a new goal things get better as you probably know
Thanks for the book recommendation, I'll check it out. I haven't watched porn at all these past 9 months. That said, sometimes I just feel like I need a sexual release, so I MO quickly and get it over with. The problem at that point is that it drains my sexual energy without giving me the dopamine high of PMO. Also, without the kick-start of pornographic images, it takes me several days for my sex drive to become overpowering, so I'm left extremely depressed in the meantime. When my sex drive is at its highest, I become what I can only describe as a dumb animal, but when I release the tension, I revert back to being extremely depressed. It's like there's no in-between... I'm able to control my urges, but I don't see the point anymore.
I dunno the depression might be linked to additude towards mo rather than MO itself. I'm not a professional so I can't say for sure. Imo being super depressed after mo it might say that maybe the view that mo is really bad and this causes one to think of themself as a bad person because of it and that leads to depression. I would check out the book I recommened it explains all this. It talks about self esteem and how our interpretation of experiences can affect our self esteem. I'm there with you though when I relapse bad I feel like absolute shit. Please get that book it's awesome
I don't feel shame about masturbation itself, but getting a release puts me in a state of mind where I feel hopeless about life. I feel like I have nothing to look forward to, and that there's no place for me in the world. As you said, maybe I should see a mental health professional, it would probably help.
Yeah gotcha. Yes I know what you are talking about. Right now I'm just absraining from m and setting goals.
