NoFap Journal - No More PMO /day by day reminder

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by zenon27, Jan 21, 2016.

  1. zenon27

    zenon27 Fapstronaut

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    I know man but those damn pills aren't easy, she was always against them and I'm nobody to tell her if she should use them or not, its her body. If i asked her I would be selfish.
    I'm just sad really :( because she is the only person I can see myself truly wanna feel the whole thing as much as one can feel, and yet somehow yeah condoms is my only answer.
    Both of her sisters use them pills one 19 and one 22), and she is the oldest of them all, she is 24 lol (strange hearing that actually) but again I can't say anything
     
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  2. Dgmili93

    Dgmili93 Fapstronaut

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    Man just calm down! I don't know how much she stays woth you in april, but if it is for one fucking night she could help you once!

    You have teo options: take a random condom or wait for having a morning wood or something spontaneous to measure it but you can't fuck up everything just for a condom dude it is already hard without this kind of things trust me!
     
  3. zenon27

    zenon27 Fapstronaut

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    I know man but what do i know about pills, and how they work and shit.
    How can she help, condoms are my only option afterall and I need to buy the right ones, I had to test at one point, still
     
  4. Dgmili93

    Dgmili93 Fapstronaut

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    You could just go to a pharmacy with her! At least explain her that you are fucking rebooting man and that tou can't simpky jerk off to take measures:D
     
  5. zenon27

    zenon27 Fapstronaut

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    also today i had no anal obsession at all
    sometimes i have that shit feeling in that area all day, and today none of that at all
     
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  6. zenon27

    zenon27 Fapstronaut

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    DAY 7 - BIG CHANGE

    Yes I saw some porn when I was trying to test my condom sizes, but hear me out (It was all for good measure lol). I'll not do that again, yet still hear me out.
    I noticed that my erection were stronger now while by myself. I never consider myself suffering from ED, as I had no problem getting it up with my GF, just light kiss to the lips or touching her boob would make me fully ready, mentally and physically in having my ways with her.
    It was just the tight condom that made erection go away, we both noticed the tight levels, still back then I used to masturbate to porn nearly everyday (we are long distance), so my erection at home weren't all that great either, but staying away from from PMO, did stronger my erection time. Porn normally never gave me auto-erection, real thing in life always did. Still while I used to watch Lesbian porn I would escalate and not being fully erect even, now its fully erect and just waiting like that. Actually I used to feel masturbation.

    Its clear days of absence that also build up my testosterone believe it or not, but I can feel it in my body. I remember I masturbated to porn solid 8 times in the past 100 days, in the days of my relapses, now my muscle mass is higher. (Before PMO I used to masturbate daily), so 90days, 90sessions, Nowadays I also consume more zinc, by eating corn and things of that nature, but I used to be skinny with no muscle mass to show off outside my legs, because I walk a lot, now my body feels actually heavier, as I'm using that extra energy to bulk up. I can feel the muscles in my arms without tightening them.
    I don't count this experiment as a relapse, I didn't edge to it for hours, or even 10 minutes, I just tested condoms, never ejaculated.
     
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  7. zenon27

    zenon27 Fapstronaut

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    Biggest change yet (IMPORTANT READ) leave feedback:
    I used to be picky with porn, searching for this so called perfect bodies, overdone face with absolutely no flaws & overly sexual, fake breasts that barely even moves (medium size or medium to high, but not too big or to0 small) with nipples that were just right & not overshadowing the breasts, perfect ass (not too big or too small), so mostly flawless porn videos of girls that lets face it, no one of us will ever have. But its all illusion if you watch Pornostars without makeup. I never gave a man notice, but my brain took that information, and realize well no outside women can compete with this world. We all have flaws.

    After being away from porn I'm starting to become less picky, as In in I love natural boobs (of all sizes), somehow fake just don't interest me anymore. Actually the idea of flaws, body and face speaking kinda makes it hot in a way, I can't say how this is a thing, but I think about it and it stands out as unique and for that hotter. Fake seems to be boring because its anything but unique to human development traits.

    The idea of watching a pussy sound appealing to me again. I used to be more into boobs, ass, and P into V, no solo pussy, but I can remember times when I used to be all over the idea of a girl with a pussy shaved in a triangle form, I found that hot (I was in my elementary school Back then), and now I wouldn't care if it was hairy, actually when with my GF I preferred it that way, (I told her be however you wanna be, its your body), & its something about totally shaved female genitalia that makes me think of babies -.- I used to change my sisters diapers mind you lol xD so that idea doesn't sound as appealing as little hairy on top, just not Full Bush still, idk maybe lol but again I'm not picky, full nude or not.

    Somehow now any porn would do, any girl would do, any body would do, and even after suffering from HOCD seeing the sight of a man's penis has no hold on me anymore. I use to get this thoughts of sucking it, I watched lots of BJ videos in straight porn, gangbang, which I'm staying away from, but now its going back to me taking roleplay of that man and doing what he is doing.

    No worries I'll not watch porn, but I'm glad to see my taste is shifting back again, to my old roots, the roots I nearly forgot even existed. I watched this shit for a decade now. I was like an artist looking for flawless things -_____________- I notice something was a miss while yes I didn't experience ED at all.

    My addiction was the worse kind, the flawless over-picky one.
     
    Last edited: Feb 4, 2016
    Hieroglyphics likes this.
  8. Do you still watch porn?
     
  9. zenon27

    zenon27 Fapstronaut

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    wrong post, my bad
     
  10. zenon27

    zenon27 Fapstronaut

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    i stopped watching it, everything, porn, pictures anything internet stimulating

    I have a girlfriend, I don't have time for fake bs anymore. If i wanna better myself I don't see any other way
     

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