Nofap needs to have some changes involving support

Discussion in 'Off-topic Discussion' started by Namekian23, Sep 23, 2016.

  1. Namekian23

    Namekian23 Fapstronaut

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    First off, I would say I am a proud member of Nofap and I always appreciate the wisdom, understanding, and empathy that most Fapstronauts have given me. I've been given great advice from talking to girls, information about porn addiction that I never even knew, focusing on goals, and more. Nofap has changed my life, and I've improved so much. It's just awesome.

    However...there is something that I want to mention, and I might talk to the creator of Nofap himself. This website is a place for support, encouragement, motivation, and so on for every member of Nofap. I feel that NO one is left behind, and that all of us should have an equal and mutual level of respect and dignity while offering positive feedback to all members.

    But like I said, there NEEDS to be some changes. And it starts with the attitude of some people. I know I talk about myself a lot, but it's the only way I can get rid of any stress and I always look forward to some of the positive feedback from others. It helps me tremendously and that's why I love Nofap. But once in a blue moon there's always that one person who ruins my day. What is their problem?

    I've been receiving very rude comments lately. One person said I was a whiny little bitch while others have mentioned that I was a little girl and that my balls haven't dropped yet. Another person said my post was gay and even retarded. It gets even worse than that...What I'm suggesting is some change. Anyone who puts others down should be addressed by the Nofap team.

    People should NOT be making of other Fapstronauts, swearing at them, and putting others down. It's just simply wrong. I do prefer constructive criticism, however, and even though I'm a sensitive guy, it actually works better for me. Having said that, we are all mature adults in this support group right? Shouldn't we have respect for each other at least? And if we don't do this, I'd say just let us be penalized.

    I've had a member who trashed me many times that I had to retaliate which I don't like doing. I prefer to motivate, encourage, and help others and that's what I've been doing ever since I joined. However, the only time I don't do this is when someone is giving me a hard time. It's not fair to me or anyone else that has to go through this, but that's just me. I think people should just be aware of what they're saying because it may hurt the other person more than they realize...
     
  2. gorilla1001

    gorilla1001 Fapstronaut

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    People will always have something bad to say, you can't get away from it (unless you isolate yourself entirely which leads to a bunch of other problems). Rise above it, don't take it to heart!
     
  3. From what I'm aware of personal attacks are prohibited. Yet, as gorilla mentioned, there will always be people like this in life. In the end they actually have absolutely no power to ruin your day. You, and only you, allow your day to be ruined. The only power people have over you is the power you give them.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 24, 2016
  4. letter

    letter Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    If you noticed, recently, the owner has opened up the doors for new moderators. Take a look at the team they currently have in place, it is a very small team for the size and volume of traffic this forum has. This much explains why you may have had the experiences you did and also that the leadership here is already onto seeking a solution. That is, it is not that they tolerate such behaviour but that they are currently stretched thin.

    Perhaps you should apply for a moderation position yourself, you seem like you have the right heart for it.
     
  5. Dr. Jekyll

    Dr. Jekyll Fapstronaut

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    re: rude comments - It seems like a lot of internet forums have this sort of thing. To top it off, this addiction thrives on "social ineptitude" (or whatever you want to call it), so there's probably going to be a fair amount of it surfacing and causing chaos. Some people equate abrasiveness with powerfulness, or think that the way to be motivated is to get abusive and swear like a drill sergeant with Tourette's syndrome. Trolls probably consider themselves very witty. Imagine how some of the people on here are like in "real" life. Probably not too happy.

    Use the ignore feature for anyone who posts things like that, either to you or anyone else, or has an attitude that rubs you the wrong way. It's not worth your time. Chances are, you won't miss anything anyway, and you will be cleaning things up on your own, in a way that suits you. This is what I've decided to do. I've also decided that when I get to the one year mark, I will have amnesty day and release everyone from my ignore list. They tend to swarm people more toward the beginner's end of the spectrum. When you get to that point, you may also find that a few of the other knots in your life may start to loosen up and you can get free of them as well.
     
  6. Namekian23

    Namekian23 Fapstronaut

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    I appreciate what you're saying, but I'm just pointing this out; that's all. Even though I sound passionate right now, it's more important to me to take everyone's advice on my post. That is, just be aware that things like this will happen and that it shouldn't ruin my day. At the same time, I have way too many things going on in my life to be modifier. But thanks for letting me know about it; I actually had no idea something like this existed.
     
    letter, Lone_Wolf and Murphy MacManus like this.
  7. Wise words and a good reminder for everyone. Thanks for this
     
  8. Namekian23

    Namekian23 Fapstronaut

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    You do have some good points, but the behavior that I've seen lately is ridiculous. In fact, there was a Fapstronaut that I've ignored on Nofap because of his constant nagging. I knew he wasn't the kind of person I'd be around with very long and his negativity towards me and everyone else is pretty much the same. And within that time, he kept showing his ignorance and fallacies of how much he knew about women when he, himself, had little connection with females in the first place. I've even had the patience to put up with him and somehow not to keep my own emotions from breaking out.

    In the end, he put me on his ignore list by saying his last few words to me: "Looks like another gay friend post." So I did the same. With my last incident there was another Fapstronaut who berated me calling me a whiny bitch and even brought in his own dad into the picture as someone who never complains about life and works much harder than I do. Basically, he was trying to be make me feel like shit because of all of his dad's accomplishments. I, on the other hand, was so furious that I had to shut him down myself.

    I know this is a lot of bullshit, but I can't stand it anymore. But like Lucky said, you have control over yourself and how your day is played out. If you let something like this ruin your day, it will not make things any better. At the same time, I was going through a lot shit last month. I can't believe how someone would have the audacity to say something so rude and with such deliberation. I just do not understand why some people would do something like this. Anyway, enough of my soap box; I'll just stop right here.
     
    Lone_Wolf and Murphy MacManus like this.
  9. Dude, those comments should warrant a ban of said members.

    Like that's not even stern help, that crosses the line into unhelpful insults.

    It's one thing to talk to a user in a stern and concerned manner, from a place of discipline and order, which may sound rough but there is really nothing insultive about it, and it's a totally different thing to attack someone with insultive language from a place that isn't out of concern or support, but something really fuckin evil.
     
    Namekian23 likes this.
  10. Step into my Playhouse and watch what goes down if anyone like that comes in there @Namekian23

    Anyways man, don't take it to heart. Sounds like some darkies (socially retarded Sith like beings) or basically blackhearted venomous beings got the best of you. If I see something like that it WILL NOT BE FUCKING PRETTY.

    Hey man, a book recommendation if you might be interested, if not, Toltec wisdom ain't for everybody,

    The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom (A Toltec Wisdom Book)

    Bottomline:

    Don't take things personally.

    Haters gonna hate. Don't let them make their pain your pain.
     
  11. I have two things to say about these kinds of people...

    #1: Report posts. Moderators can't be everywhere at all times, but if you report a post and give an adequate reason, they will decide whether or not action is warranted.

    and #2: Something everyone needs to remember before they start to judge others...

    [​IMG]

    Just because someone has been through a lot and it didn't effect them doesn't mean the same or lesser pain wouldn't effect someone else. Gain a little compassion and understanding.
     
    Dr. Jekyll, Namekian23 and feo1966 like this.
  12. Stardweller1

    Stardweller1 Fapstronaut

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    When someone is trying to change for the better, the worst thing you can do is talk down to them.
     
    WalkingForward and Namekian23 like this.
  13. Dr. Jekyll

    Dr. Jekyll Fapstronaut

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    Yeah, those guys are wrong and, FWIW, I think most here would agree. I'd also second the motion to consider being a mod. Most importantly, do whatever you need to do to stay on the path. So far, so good! Keep it going!
     
    Namekian23 likes this.
  14. Dr. Jekyll

    Dr. Jekyll Fapstronaut

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    So true - that evil disease spreads from one person to the next. It takes a lot of strength & courage to be a good man, esp. in this day and age.
     
  15. letter

    letter Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    Aye, I'm of the same mind. I personally don't care what people say or do, I can handle myself. But the points you bring up are still concerning, even if you mature past being affected by them there will be others who just won't handle things well for w/e legit personal reasons they may have.

    I forgot who said it, but the quality & nature of a society or community can be discerned by seeing how they treat their weakest and most vulnerable people. You've got a good answer for yourself, but as a community we've still got to step up. I don't think many enjoy being around negativity anyways. Just isn't fun, isn't helpful. It's destructive.
     
    Namekian23 likes this.
  16. mynameisjeff

    mynameisjeff Fapstronaut

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    There will always be trolls on every forums, If someone is being negative in everything they say I believe the moderatoe should remove them but if it can be construed as a heated argument then freedom of speech says let in go on
     
    Namekian23 likes this.
  17. Namekian23

    Namekian23 Fapstronaut

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    I think evil is going a little too far. I don't think they're murderers, rapists, or even psychopaths on a rampage. There are many components as to why people behave the way that they do. It could be their low self-esteem, how they were brought up, the interactions that they have with other people, and so on. For the ones who have insulted me, even though I don't have any tolerance for what they've done, I still have some sympathy for them.

    And I don't mean that by pitying them either. So to say that they're evil is something I try to stay clear from. They probably have a lot of shit that they need to deal with; or they may have conflicts that they desperately want to change in life, but can't. We can't blame them for it, but we just have to take it with a grain of salt and move on. People who want to succeed will strive with others who also want to succeed. And those who choose not to make a change will stay stuck. When this happens, there's comparisons between them and others, frustrations, and a whole lot of other shit.
     
  18. Gautama

    Gautama Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    I believe the Nofap team are trying to keep on top of this but like one user has stated, they are a bit thin on the ground at the moment.
     
  19. Disgruntled Worker

    Disgruntled Worker Fapstronaut

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    You create a thread whining and complaining pretty much constantly, Namekian23. There’s a difference between being supportive and then patronizing someone. You want everyone on this forum to tell you everything is gonna be okay. That living with your parents at 28 is perfectly normal. That women are attracted to emotionally desperate, needy guys that require the approval of strangers on the internet before making major life decisions. That and that alone is why you get no respect here.

    You’ve been through absolutely nothing in life growing up in America - with all the amenities and benefits that this country provides such as a free education, excellent healthcare, financial assistance for university - yet you still manage to find something to whine about. It’s tiresome and it sets a terrible precedent and example for young members of this forum who are headed down the same path.

    The difference between a member like me and everyone else is I actually know how to succeed and am willing to share those secrets with you. It takes hard work and determination. Nothing else. Until you learn that you will always be a loser.
     

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