Oh man what did I get myself into with this streak? Then I realized... (very funny!)

I on many occasions I tried to get my current streak underway and failed. Worse, I'd done a month long streak months ago as my second and longest one to date and I already knew it was quite beneficial. It sold me on NoFap. It was so beneficial that I considered it an essential element of my efforts to pull myself out of the shameful, months-long morass of weed, porn and masturbation that my life had become mired in. To get free of that to varying degrees is why we do this, isn't it? Oh, and the way it lets you bounce bullets off your chest, stop freight trains with your mind, and effect invisibility. Okay I'm kidding; It doesn't *really* allow you invisibility. Just my luck that I'd get injured and bleed out while invisible without anyone coming to help me because they couldn't see me. But if it makes you feel like you can do those things, the I'm not going to argue with that. And at least for me, it kinda does make me feel that way so I'm just going to roll with it.

Well this time I really did it to myself, threw down the gauntlet, and swore on the sacred text of my religion that I would, for 90 days, refrain from the consumption of anything containing THC, the looking at of porn and any acts of self sexual stimulation. I didn't leave any wiggle room there, did I? Not even with the THC consumption since that includes both weed in herbal form and those evil yet delicious (or are they deliciously evil?) THC oil vape pens that everyone is always offering me to take a puff off of when I'm hanging out. I don't know what's going to do me more good, the THC cessation or the NoFap? No matter, the habits were mutually supporting and driving each other. No sooner was my hand off that sacred volume of religious text than I thought "Crap, what have I done? I mean, I didn't even get in that pre-streak severance jerk!" But if having done a previous streak has taught me anything, it's that one's word to oneself is ALL important. I may have had to swear to God that I would do this, but I still made a conscious decision to do so, and there's nothing at the end of the day that would keep me from breakng it. My religion does not subscribe to lightning bolts striking us oath-breaking adherents in retribution. Well, not anymore, anyway. But I would know I swore to something and that if I didn't stick with it. It would be the ultimate letting down of myself, and I'd have to live with that, more so than having to answer to the Almighty at least for the time being. Plus I'd loose the whole thing of being able to bounce bullets off my chest. Around where i live, that could come in handy. So when I think about what that 90 says is going to be like, I look forward to the changes, and as far as the temptation, the difficult rebooting process and the depression and mood swings in the early days, I'll just have to live with that and not bitch, because there is no point in doing so. I always wanted to go for the Gold anyway, my 90 days, if for no reason than to say I did it once in my life. The Gold, baby. How often in life with anything do you *really* go for the gold? Not often enough. I don't really see any of us writing any books, we're not going to invent anything, we're not going to be curing cancer. But you CAN forward the cause of NoFap. In conversations with friends were the subject of masturbation comes up, I've said that I have gone up to 30 days without a nut and the room fell silent other than the sound of everyone's JAWS hitting the damn floor in admiration. They'll then sit in stunned silence akin to the aftermath of one having scratched their nails across a chalkboard, with myself sitting there in triumphant satisfaction as they give each other looks as if to say "Um, you going to take this one or should I You? You wanna get this one, Bill?" Then someone will say "b....b...but why?" and then I can preach the gospel a bit. Of course in some ways it's like sipping on a soda and talking about how you've seen the light and been going to AA meetings....as you sit in a crowded bar in Dublin during happy hour. I used to think I'd get stomped like a narc at a BIKER RALLY if I bought it up, but if they're going to talk about that time they got caught stroking it in the washroom of a petting zoo, then I'm diving in with my little NoFap saga with both feet. Yeah someone may talk about how they blew it into the same sock so many times that they could break it over the edge of a table, or how they have so much porn on their hard drive that the damn thing actually weighs a pound more than when they got it, but I'll be sitting there all like "Oh man I got this topped." and wait to drop the NoFap streak-bomb on their asses. The best part is that they can't crucify you for saying that you DON'T jerk it. I've had a few women in such instances look at me like "I'll be the one to make this guy break that streak, I'm going to be the one to make him bust a nut!" None of them have yet tried, and I am not what you'd call "prone to getting laid" so I've not even really thought about if I'd have sex while on a streak or not. I do not tell them that though, I'll just let them think that I was in monk mode until I'm buying them breakfast at Waffle House. That, I probably would do. Not the part about Waffle House though. Denny's is more my kinda place. But I'll gleefully skip across that bridge when I come to it. Pun intended. FWIW, I was never much into porn and easily stopped looking at it when I stopped jerking and I didn't use it much to begin with, so I consider myself more of a semen retainer, but I feel more comfortable and useful on the NoFap side of things. The retention guys sorta look at themselves as the Spartans, the Delta Force of the no-masturbation world. Yeah, whatever. We're more in the same boat than they want to admit. That mentality is just not me. Onwards and upwards, gentlemen!