On Being Attractive

Okay, clearly my humour has not translated well here...

My comment regarding your appearance, @CH3RRY, whilst based in fact (you're an attractive specimen of manhood), were meant entirely in jest. I should have been a good deal more sensitive to this as I have often received comments, both direct and indirect, that I am an unattractive, physically-undesirable man. I'm sure that some of them were meant as nothing more than jokes (including the ones that I received first), but hearing the same thing over and over, whether in jest of solemnity, hardens into concrete Reeboks for soul.

So, @CH3RRY, I am apologising here for not more clearly identifying the humour of my comment, and more importantly, for the hurt it has caused you. That was not my intention (quite the opposite, in fact), and it speaks to my own flaws and inadequacies that I felt the need to punch down like that.

I am sorry.

 

Perhaps my comments above were a bit forward and flippant, but it hurts me to know that in 18 months or three years or whenever, I'm still not going to look as good as you, no matter what I do. Perhaps I'm being shallow, but if you and I went out, and I was dosed with Confidencin (patent-pending, awaiting FDA approval), you'd probably have greater success with women (using any rubrik you choose).

Is that everything? No, but for me it's a pretty important thing.

Nasty? Perhaps. Uncalled for? An attractive man posts his photograph and I get called out on voicing my opinion. I've apologised for the hurt I've caused @CH3RRY already, and if he wishes to take it further, so be it.

And just to prove my point, here's me about three weeks ago - I DO NOT photograph well:

Thank you. I don't hate him - I merely envy the ever-loving fuck out of him. He has something to show for his pain. I will not.

I would LOVE to have any of those numbers. I'm 168cm and presently 76kg (down from 94kg in April 2017). It is doubtful I'll lose much more weight given my trainer has me focused on weights rather than cardio.

They do? Then where were they when I was in high school? Or university? I have no doubt that there are women who do like them, but not when he's me.

Yeah, this whole thread has started picking at scars that just can't seem to heal over...

 

While everyone is talking about how skinny they are I'm over here wishing I was skinny. But nope, just fat so me!!

 

Perhaps, but I'm highly dubious. I have always been 'ugly'. Sure, lots of people say I'm not, but, there are also people who say I am - to my face. One person said it to me today while I was at work. Combine that with woman not 'seeing' me as a 'desirable man', and you can see where my bitterness comes from. I'd been making a lot of progress in dealing with this, but that comment really hit me.

Over on Bony to Beastly there's a list of laments that guys in your position have. One is about how hard it is to put on weight, and as a scrawny runt growing up, I know it all too well - although I never thought to bulk up/hit the gym/whatever (I was too far down the societal ladder to think about that). Look at at this way - would you rather be in your position, struggling to gain mass, or in the position of someone who was obese and couldn't even look at a cheesecake without getting fatter? Yes, you're not in an ideal category (and certainly not your ideal, which is really all that matters), but compared to many out there - including me - you have a body they'd kill for.

I used to see a stylist who actually made me look decent - so much so I almost cried the first time he did my hair around 15 years ago. I stopped seeing him after getting married because my wife never really cared for the efforts I made with my appearance. I returned to him again a few months ago, and plan on do so again - he even makes an effort to hide my bald spot.