One last try

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Deleted Account, Jun 12, 2021.

  1. Alright so I tried nofap in May 2019, or at least that was the first time I was serious about it. For 2 years of hell I wasn’t able to get rid of porn. My longest streak was 10 days and I had it couple of times in those two years. My results are pure shit and I can’t believe that this is who I am. On a surface everything seems fine but under the hood I am fucked up. For real. And I can’t do this shit anymore so this will be my final shot. I am ashamed, humiliated and totally ripped off. I can't look at myself in the mirror. I lost a lot because of pornography. Girlfriends, money, career opportunities, parties, new people, finding hobbies, exploring stuff and who knows what else.

    I remember that I was always saying to people how my word means a lot, and this time I am promising myself and anyone who reads this…if I fail one more time. Either I will kill myself or I will join military and totally forget about any other goals I have.

    I am probably going to fail because I am fucking addicted to porn and I don’t have any will power left inside me. But at least I gave my word and I know that this time there are serious consequences for my actions

  2. Welcome to Nofap. There's a lot help on this site. Make notes and learn as much as you can. Most of all, try things out because you'll never know if something does work if you don't try it out. Also, be a little patience.

    I think it's good that you realise there's stuff going on "under the hood" as you say. It's a great place to start looking.

    Best of luck with everything
    Sirius-M likes this.
  3. sadman65

    sadman65 Fapstronaut

    I believe in you. Do not harm yourself. Military is a good idea, they teach you self discipline and ways to reach your goals, although like you said last ditch effort to gain control.

    If I were you I would firstly think about where you want to be in lets say, 5 years(think reasonably).

    Since Porn is stopping you from reaching your goals and presumably crushing your motivation here's some of the tricks I use/have used.
    - Every time you get an urge think about it rationally for a few minutes, almost like you are about making a big purchase.
    - Ask yourself, is it worth throwing it all away just for a few moments of pleasure?
    - In general think about your life's future and revert back to the 5 years vision you had.

    Just my thoughts on the matter and I wish you the best of luck.
    Sirius-M likes this.
  4. Well thanks for your kind words and support. I will take your advice
  5. My mind is like a web site with pop up ads...images are coming out of nowhere and I can't stop them. And mostly that triggers my bad behavior...I will try meditation this time.
    Any other advices on that ?

  6. Warrior xxx :-)

    Warrior xxx :-) Fapstronaut


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