I am on my day 50 of rebooting hard mode. Until the day 45 it was just fine, I was accepting the flatline as it was. But after 45, edging was so strong and I have been lazy. Last 5 days I stoped my routine of working out, reading and eating healthy. Also because of the girls upgraded interest on me, I started to have sexual texting with one. This all together drove me to a state of viewing porn on day 49. It gave me excitement and a hard on for sure but I realized that I can't get into it that like I did before the start of my rebooting. But it did not stop me to watch some new stuff and spend hours on P. It was like smoking your first cigarette after 2 months if you are familiar with the term. The first cigarette tastes really good but 2nd and 3rd are not that special but you keep smoking. Also I wanna share that I have devoloped some fetishes because of my P usage of 10+ years. Lets catogorize them bad, worse, worser and worst for not to trigger anybody reading this. So after 49 days I checked them all again and here is my reaction to them: The ''worst'' I am not into it at all anymore, ''worser'' is also feels like it's not my thing any longer, ''worse'' seems to be the level I am now that I did not need to check ''bad'' at all. This is a good sign for me that rebooting is actually working on my taste. After hours of watching and searching P, I realized I havent eaten anything since breakfast to dinner time. Dopamine was acting on my body and brain. Then I said wtf I haven eaten anything all day so I went to eat something with lack of apetite. After dinner I had a headache, I believe it's combination of low blood sugar level because of not eating all day and of course high level of dopamine in my brain. Beside all the negativity, I havent M or O to it. Thats why after long sleep of last night, today I dont feel like I lost a lot of process. I dont feel like shit or something, but I am not that great as one of good days on my reboot. The thing is my P counter is Day 1 today and MO is still 50. I have learned from this experience. It affected my game plan on rebooting (upgraded it) and it showed me that I am not that much lost like I was 50 days ago. I hope this helps some Fapstronauts trying to reboot.By the way I am 29 years old.
Learn from the relapse, friend. Progress has still been made and lessons have been learned. You're still ahead of the game. You should be better-equipped to interpret your feelings in the future and avoid putting yourself in those same situations. Just pick yourself back up and keep on moving forward Stay the course.
