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Patience... worst chapter

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Deleted Account, Oct 16, 2019.

  1. Oct 16, 2019 #1
    Deleted Account

    Deleted Account Guest

    Hi guys! I have been a porn and masturbation addict for almost 7 years and I have finally managed to stay clean for 20 days today. Looking forward to abstaining for life.
    Do you ever feel like you simply can't concentrate on something for more than 5 minutes? That's me studying. I come home willing to study, and 5 minutes in I'm almost asleep and just want to do something else... like wasting time. I used not to really be like this when I masturbated, so I guess this has to do with PAWS. I'm not sure I'm in a flatline, but it quite looks like it.
    To those who've been abstaining for longer periods: have you sorted out your patience yet? Can you concentrate on something for, let's say, one hour? (if only you've had problems with patience)
    I always feel like WASTING my time and I always feel so bad that I'm not studying, that I eventually read some lines then get back to doing nothing in less than 10 minutes. It's really annoying and I'm really wondering if it goes away as rebooting evolves further.
    Thank you!
     
    Deleted Account, Oct 16, 2019
    Deleted Account, Oct 16, 2019
    #1
  2. Oct 16, 2019 #2
    blotter

    blotter Fapstronaut

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    Congrats on 20 days and the future aspirations. From what I've come across here it seems people tend to have the reverse in not being able to focus while using. In any case, yes, more clarity develops as addiction weakens.

    A little aspiration/prayer might help you within these moments, this is part of a longer chant that Buddhists recite: Grant your blessings so that confusion may dawn as wisdom. If you have a higher power you can direct it that way and keep it as is. If not, you can simply say to yourself when struggling to focus "may confusion dawn as wisdom" and visualize that actually taking place.
     
    blotter, Oct 16, 2019
    blotter, Oct 16, 2019
    #2

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