Thoughts on rebooting with sex (or attempts) rather then abstenence ? Makes sense since the final goal of quitting porn and doing the 90 day challenge is to have proper enjoyable sex ? You fail once u fail twice but eventually the brain(and the penis of course) starts to reboot itself to women rather then the hand/ fantasy duo.
It's a complicated thing I guess. Just seems to me that going 90 days if you're single and not dating anyone will be excruciating. I mean it's obviously doable but I can understand why people fail all the time. First and foremost I think that everyone can agree that watching P, Edging to P, and PMO should never be allowed. I've recently been swayed to take up the whole no MO thing which has helped as there is an association to P, and is enticing due to the 'chaser effect'. When it comes to sex there is still a chaser effect, sometimes hours afterwards, sometimes the next day and the few following days which makes things more challenging. For myself the MO chaser is much worse than the sex chaser. It's unhealthy I think if you have sex while fantasizing about porn and not being present with your partner. You're using them to get off and still have an association to porn. But surely this is better than PMOing. PMO is much worse because you have that constant dopamine spike from new girls/scenarios etc.. Novelty.. Dopamine spike.. Novelty.. Dopamine spike. So if you're even using your memory and remembering Porn, it can't be as bad as watching new porn because if you remember it then it's porn you've already seen, thus no novelty, thus no big dopamine spike. Of course there will be dopamine involved compared to everyday baseline but not as much. Obviously less is more in this instance, try to avoid thinking about Porn as much as possible. But considering the alternative, trying to go hard-mode and then not making it and binging like crazy, I'll take the former every time. I guess if you can, have sex and be present as much as possible. If you can, avoid any thoughts of porn while having sex. I assume that over time, especially as your brain is healing from dopamine over-stimulation that your brain will be wired and more dopamine producing to your partner or to real people and real sex.
How about fantasies about earlier, real-life sexual encounters? I'm finding that even those are creating strong urges...especially those sessions where I recorded the sex sessions in video or pics....sort of like creating my own porn. I find that the memories of those sessions brings back also memories of MO'ing to those pics later...
If you're not in a relationship, then go hard mode. Not having sex while rebooting will speed up the process quite a bit.
I've been wondering about this myself! I am single, but have been talking to someone, and would like to continue hooking up.... But don't want to set myself back
Fantasies I'm finding are hard to stop as well. The problem is that they're in your mind and not connected to a computer. I would say however that if you have pics or videos of exes that you should delete them (as I did) because even though you dated them it is still porn and will still create that dopamine spike from watching/masturbating to it. If it's just the pure mental fantasy part I don't have a ready answer. I think that meditation is helping out but haven't been doing it for that long to know for sure. Staying busy and working on cutting those thoughts or any other strategy to reduce fantasy would be advisable.
