PIED & NoFap (I really need advice and opinions)

On march 1st you will be on day 243 (approx), its not enough to get out from flatline?

 

Dont worry bro! I had the same effects before nofap, i tried many times, sometimes i got as strong erection as i could get into vagina but i couldnt orgasm. I tried to stop pmo, but soo many relapses. I have a gf, and i got many sex with her before my current streak (77 days). Now im in a huge flatline for 1,5 months, so everything is about FAITH! I know with time, every negative effect will be cured, including PIED, so just remember: one thing is the most important during the reboot: there is depression, anxiety, no energy, no self confident, no motivation, no sex drive, urges, PIED during reboot, but never lose faith, everybody will see the lights at the end of the tunnel!

 

I've relapsed and recovered multiple times now. I understand the anxiety. That first time back from PIED (or first time ever) is always scary. No matter you will be paranoid. You'll just need to get through that first time to officially make the anxiety melt away. The only way to rewire your brain to real encounters, is to actually have sex.

But don't worry, you are on the right track. You are slowly turning off all the circuits in your brain that connect PMO together. However don't be surprised if it takes you an extremely long time to reach an O the first time around. For me it always did. Eventually your brain will forget all about porn.

I know you are asking for advice, but it sounds like you got most of your basis covered. So here's some of the mistakes I made during my first recovery. Back in 2012 I finally realized I had a problem. I didn't want to have PIED my whole life. I was able to make it 90 days without PMO before my first sexual encounter. Unfortunately, when I finally had sex, the PIED was still there. This made me super depressed and I relapsed bad that very night. Life long porn abuse required more than 90 days for me.

It took me just over a year to reach a point where I could have sex without losing it. I didn't reach an O though. Finally I learned I could reach an O while I thought about porn, however this is still cheating. Don't use porn to finish.

The relapses have been farther and fewer between. Now my recovery process was much much faster this time around. However this has been the culmination of a 5 year battle for me. During that time, I was able to talk myself into thinking this wasn't working. Or I would trick myself into thinking I was "cured" because the PIED went away. Don't ever fall for it. Just like an alcoholic can't have 1 sip, we can't even have a taste of porn. The PIED will come back much faster than you expect.

I know its not easy, but trust me. It eventually gets a lot easier. Stay busy, and stick to your routine.

 

You're putting so much pressure on yourself to perform. You have to be relaxed to get a boner. You're getting morning wood. Your boner works. Take comfort in that fact and enjoy your time with your girlfriend. If you're putting too much expectations on yourself, she's going to feel that too. That pressure might ruin your time together, not your flatline. I don't know what your relationship is like, but have you considered talking to her about your issues? It might ease some of the pressure and help you feel relaxed.

 

I agree. I had sex with women with no issues except that my penis isn't hard enough as it should be. Penetration isn't an issue IF you really relax and take a long long long time to please your girlfriend. Give her an orgasm first. That will excite you. The key is to let your body react to her excitement and that's when the real fun begins! When your body reacts to her excitement, penetration is easier

 

I second those who are telling you to relax. I also agree with seaguy about the importance of spending a lot of time on her before intercourse. Don't just meet up a hotel, tear her clothes off and try going at it. Spend some time outside, preferably doing something with which you're comfortable (teach her how to play golf, for example; the body contact you'd experience would be a good ice-breaker, and she could possibly be turned on by seeing your competence in something athletic). That will allow you to relax and feel a bit more confident. From there, go out to dinner and be sure to ask lots of questions and be as attentive a listener as possible. I'd advise against drinking alcohol, but if one drink helps you to relax, it might be good idea.

Once you get back to the hotel room, it is important to really spend a lot of time on her. I don't want to go into all the graphic detail, but spend at least 15-20 minutes on her before attempting intercourse. That will make her relaxed and fully prepared for intercourse, you'll feel confident about the fact that you've already pleasured her, and you should be ready to go.

One more idea is to consider drinking WuLong (or Oolong) tea. I've found that it does seem to activate my libido and allow for stronger erections. It might all be a mental thing, but I'd heard it works, and it does appear to be of some benefit.

Anyhow, I hope it all goes well.

 

@Got to Overcome, thanks for the tip about the WuLong (or Oolong) tea. I'll try that before I have sex with a girl.

@Got to Overcome is absolutely correct. Girls love it when they are satisfied first. When they are satisfied, they'll go wild on you. I tried that and it worked like a charm. Treat her like she's the Queen. She is!