Porn has turned me bi will NoFap make it go away.

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by WarpedMind16, Sep 14, 2018.

  1. WarpedMind16

    WarpedMind16 New Fapstronaut

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    And no...its not some weird "latent bisexuality" surfacing. I have fucked up my brain by watching the wrong shit.
     
  2. You need to make full 90days reboot.
     
  3. hardowner

    hardowner Fapstronaut

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    I experienced similar stuff. I turned bi, asexual, straight, all over again and again. I had no idea that the cause was porn addiction. Nofap was a lifebuoy in the middle of the ocean...
     
  4. WarpedMind16

    WarpedMind16 New Fapstronaut

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    Such words bring me great peace and hope. Thank you.
     
  5. Miguel Rocha

    Miguel Rocha Fapstronaut

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  6. CCJACK

    CCJACK Fapstronaut

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    Here is a post I made on another thread you may find relevant:

    “I’ll tell you a bit about my story as it may be relevant. I started P and M when I was about 12 and got very into it, and quickly started to realize that gay porn excited me. There was something wrong about it that just got the dopamine going and I started to imagine what it would be like to essentially be in the girls position by being a bottom and forced to pleasure a man. After talking in chat rooms online I actually had my first male encounter when I was about 15. I went over to a guys house and we gave each other head. In the moment I remembered thinking I enjoyed it - until I orgasmed and I was racked with guilt over what I’d done. I told myself I wouldn’t do it again and would remember how it made me feel.

    Fast forward to university and I had another encounter for oral - same overall result of guilt. I soon got a girlfriend and we dated for a few years, but in that time I was still occasionally watching gay porn to excite me. The two of us did do some BDSM stuff because she was into it but at the time I felt it wasn’t enough, but I was also too ashamed and scared to tell her that I wanted to actually have sex with a man. So, I made up other reasons to break up with her, and about a month later I had full on sex with a guy. And, it simply put wasn’t good. I don’t know if I was just too insecure and awkward but the whole thing just felt a little off to me and not nearly as pleasurable as the videos had made it. I wasn’t enjoying it like the guys in P so, I was uncomfortable. And following that again regret and even more over the fact I ended a relationship with my first love for THAT.

    That was about 6 years ago and I haven’t been with any guys since although Stillwatched lots of P. I did eventually meet my now wife, told her all about my past and while she’s not really into BDSM / doesn’t even have a high sex drive she has still indulged my fantasies with the occasional pegging session, which gives me the feeling of submission / fantasies of giving oral but with a partner that also doesn’t make me feel guilty after doing it. But if all I had really wanted was kinky sex, ironically the girl I threw away would have been a better fit.

    I guess the main takeaway I would say is that you really can’t know until you try it but at the same time you may not realize what you’re giving up, and the fact that it can’t be undone. For me peace with it only happened when I found a girl who I loved for reasons beyond sex, and who understood and was willing to support me in my own challenges. And I still struggle with it because now my concerns are the fact that I’m asking her to do things I know she doesn’t really like because I can’t shake my fetishes - but it’s a big improvement from where I was. At least I have a partner I can be open with and can if I want to utilize a safe avenue to fulfil some fantasies without the P, M, or guilt around my sexuality.”
     
    Michael1995 likes this.
  7. Yes it'll go away. I was watching lots of porn including lots of gay porn and visiting gay chat rooms. Wanted to do it myself and got pretty close but never went through with it.

    In the same topic of porn creating a desire to act out for real, I was also watching a lot of rape porn and eventually I was thinking about it with a woman I was lusting after at the gym. At that point I realized I need to get professional help since I was fortunately still sane enough to realize that kind of thinking wasn't right and I'm getting to the over the top point. Went to the therapist and got my head back on right and on the path to ridding porn from my life.

    After starting no-PMO in January the desires to try gay sex have dropped of considerably and I'm back to desiring women only.

    Go no-PMO for an extended period of time and get that porn crap out of your system.
     
    sir_markus and WarpedMind16 like this.
  8. CCJACK

    CCJACK Fapstronaut

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    I would also not completely discount the interest even if you did make it worse by watching porn like I did. If there’s SOME interest you’re probably not perfectly straight - but most people aren’t and these days it really doesn’t matter. But from my own experience I can tell you that some things in videos seem cool until you try them and realize it’s not what you thought. That’s what made me realize I definitely preferred women even if I had a slight interest in gay sex too.
     
  9. CCJACK

    CCJACK Fapstronaut

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    But last point - I’ve heen doing no PM for about 3 weeks and the amount of gay thoughts I have has dropped off considerably. So it definitely has an effect.
     
  10. Certainly truth to that, thanks for the input. If after abstaining from PMO for a period, if you still have the desire for intimacy with a man, then by all means go for it. For me, after a period of time I no longer want to be with a man. But that might not be the same with everyone.
     
  11. CCJACK

    CCJACK Fapstronaut

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    Correct - the difference between you and I already is I went through with it several times even if it was awkward and uncomfortable.
     
  12. overclocked

    overclocked Fapstronaut

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    Short answer: yes. Stick to nofap for a long time and block any bisexual fantasies and the problem will take care of itself ;)
     
  13. HereAndThere

    HereAndThere Fapstronaut

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    Ill presume that youre male cause women dont get so upset over having bi thoughts. Society tells them its okay while men get punished for it. I say fuck that! Be all that you can be, a real human being. I had my own porn induced bi stage and i came to peace with the notion. There is nothing wrong with it. I think that sexuality isnt dependent on gender alone. That said, i also think that you will be less upset once you reboot and your preferences sharpen.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  14. I had bi tendancies before porn, i had bi tendancies during porn, and 254 days since quitting porn, i have bi tendancies.

    I agree with what @HereAndThere said. I am female so it's just seen as a 'quirk'. Which is not fair, it really doesn't matter which gender you are, you should be comfortable to embrace whatever your sexuality is. And really, why does it need to be defined anyway? In my opinion sexuality is fluid.

    I am probably 80% straight. If I had to pick a gender to sleep with for eternity it would be men. I love men. I love sex with men and I need a man in my life, sexually. I adore their strength and virility and all things manly. But I also appreciate and am turned on by the beauty and softness and details of the female form, and the females' higher capacity for sexual intimacy, kissing, teasing, playfulness etc (generalising of course, but you know what I mean).

    However, porn can create bi or gay tenancies where there previously were none, due to the novelty. If these tendancies only started after you started watching porn, likely they will disappear after sucessfully rebooting. And if they dont - it really doesnt matter.

    I hate all this macho you're-only-a-real-man-if-the-thought-of-other-men-makes-you-wanna-vomit rubbish. Sex is sex. If its between 2 consensual human beings (not your hand and a computer screen) that is all that matters.

    If the man I love told me he is bi, I would not care, but just feel extra special that he felt he could be totally himself with me.
     
    HereAndThere likes this.
  15. Hey guys please help how to rewire brain properly to be straight please help
     
  16. 19m

    19m Fapstronaut

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    what if someone didnt have bi tendancies before porn? but they do during yhere porn addiction period ?
     
  17. Then probably porn-related and will likely reverse after a sucessful reboot :)
     
    hardowner likes this.
  18. 19m

    19m Fapstronaut

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    thank you :) because im afarid i am but i know im not
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  19. The thing is, porn is so effective because of the novelty. Sexual novelty = arousal. Thats just the way humans are wired, and why its so easy to get addicted to porn. If you had no bi tendancies before you started watching porn, chances are your brain just liked the novelty of it (as most brains do). But after a while the regular hetero stuff seems vanilla, so bi or gay stuff can become a requirement to get aroused. This is when people really start freaking out about their sexuality. It is totally possible to condition your brain into needing any kind of porn, however repulsive you might find it in real life.

    Just reboot, dont watch the stuff, let your brain 'forget' all those warped porn pathways it's created, and focus on creating new healthy ones with intimacy with a real human being, when you are ready :)

    Importantly you musn't fantasise about it either though.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  20. 19m

    19m Fapstronaut

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    thank you!
    habk
     

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