Hi, TLDR at end. I cant stop saying these stuff to people. Thought I would share some of my leanings over here. Maybe someone would benefit from it. I used to be one extreme negative thinking guy. Extremely introverted, I always thought I don't need anyone in life and I am my own strength and weakness. I used to think that it is not good to have too many friends because one day or the other they will ask you from some help and it is going to be a burden and I used to be proud of the fact that I managed to keep a low profile at the workplace and around my neighborhood. Now that I think of it, I don't remember ever having positive thoughts about anything , including me. I used to skip lovey-dovey scenes from every form of media. I couldn't take it. Anything that showed love,compassion, you know the shit. Oh, and the hatred for anything in this world. Literally everyone was useless and the world was a shitty place.I quickly judged people and none of them had a good personality in my mind.(If you have seen Louie or Louis C.K jokes, you can easily relate to my feelings. He is a genius). I wasn't bitter to people in practice , I just avoided them. But I hated them all equally , in my head. I felt just stupid to have a good thought about anyone. Now this hatred was not only for the world, but from me as well. I hated myself. I hated the fact that I used to jerk off 3-4 times a day, everyday. I used to hate myself for staying inside my room all the time. I used to hate myself because I was not capable of saying 'Hi' to anyone. I wasn't even capable of talking to girls who hit on me. I was a piece of shit but a better piece of shit than others. Extreme ego and introvertedness does not go good to anyone. introvertedness > Negativity > Fapping > low self worth/confidence > anger \/ ^<-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------< its a vicious cycle. Then came noFAP. Started with it and soon felt better in a week but the negativity remained and soon the self doubt started. I relapsed again and again. Kept on trying. I wanted to start meeting people, talk to girls , better social interaction etc and started reading on it but it was all useless when I felt I was a piece of shit and they all said you need to feel good about yourself and I tried but somehow I failed. Then it clicked. You will feel good about yourself when you feel good about others. When you see the good side of others , you'll see the good side of you. This meant no getting angry at the bus driver who was late or the co-worker who screwed up on his/her job. This is because when you are happy (as opposed to angry at everyone) , you have no choice but to see the positive side of yourself and everyone. Smiling. It is powerful. Even a forced smile will work. You dont even have to talk to people. Just smile. Remind yourself to smile. It will hurt at first because my facial muscles were just set for frowning but do it enough and you will become happy. I dont know how it works but it does and if by chance if you smile and someone made eye contact, they will smile back (most of them unless you meet an asshole like my former self). That will just lift your mood. Trust Me , I know . The whole point is to feel good about yourself. Try to immediately block negative thoughts. Stop hating people. It is not going to happen in a day. It will take practice. Eventually your brain will remind yourself you are thinking too negative moron. Stop it. This will help you in Nofap. Like yesterday I was sure a girl was looking at me on the train. I saw her seeing me through the corner of the eyes. It was really difficult for me to go and start talking to her. I tried a lot Battling the negative thoughts in my head. I could not maintain eye contact. Then came the usual thoughts , like you are a pussy and pathetic and lot of excuses. But then immediately my brain said, its ok. Your older self would not even have bothered. You made a effort. Rome was not built in a day etc etc and I felt better. I have made significant improvements in the last 2 months after I found about this. It is just easier to talk to people when you dont have negative thoughts about them. Ive managed to do things like say Hi and make small talk. TLDR ; 1) You need to have a positive outlook in life to battle the bad things within you. 2) You need to feel good about yourself. No thoughts like Im a piece of worthless shit/I cant do it , for any failure you may face. This is important. 3) For that, you are not allowed to have negative thoughts about anything and anyone. No getting angry at the bus driver , the goverment, the world , your gf/wife , parents. Remember , you are not entitled to anything in this world. 4) It takes practice to do the above. One day your brain will slowly start having positive thoughts. 5) Once you get confidence, build on it. Block unwanted negative thoughts and focus on your positive points. 6)Smiling helps. Its not a joke.(Reading a joke everyday helps though). Just put a fake smile on your face. Force it. (maybe not a mad maniacal smile. a beautiful smile ) 7)If possible start working out. If you are not happy with your body , start changing it. This will be your biggest confidence booster. It only hurts for 2 weeks. 8)Help others if possible. It only makes you happier. Don't worry that you will seem like a fool in front of others. You are doing it for you and no one else. Good luck with you nofap journey and a overall better healthy lifestyle.
I wish I had a poll attached to this to see, how many Fapstronaut think more negative than positive generally
Hi I think you are absolutely right.The negative thoughts are a main part of the circle.For sure! They lead to fapping or other addictions.And vice versa. So actively helping your brain to think more positive about others and yourself can eventually break the circle much better imo. Thank you for the good tips (Smiling,positive thinking of others).
