Question about sex with wife.

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Bottomofthemap, Apr 1, 2018.

  1. Bottomofthemap

    Bottomofthemap Fapstronaut

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    So I’m in my fifth day of no pmo. I’ve never had any problems with normal sex with my wife. Last night we decided to have sex, and I found it very hard to orgasm. I had no problem getting erect, and I wanted to do it. I’ve never had this problem before. I figured since I stopped watching porn that it would be the opposite. Is this a common thing with recovery? Has anyone else experienced this before?
     
    Deleted Account and Awakening123 like this.
  2. CELIBACY_GUY

    CELIBACY_GUY Fapstronaut

    Are you on PMO challenge ? Then how you are having sex ? The main goal of this challenge and journey is to preserve the vital semen and then experience the differences . Hope , it didn't offend you .
     
  3. Bottomofthemap

    Bottomofthemap Fapstronaut

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    No offense taken, and thanks for your reply. I’m under the impression that PMO challenge has to do with fapping with use of porn. I have no intention or interest in stopping sex with my wife. Maybe I’m in the wrong forum.
     
    CELIBACY_GUY likes this.
  4. Gooding

    Gooding Fapstronaut

    Reboot is no PMO. Reel sex is fine.

    Then there is hard mode reboot. No PMO and no sex. Complete starvation.

    Hard mode reboot followed by reboot is a typical route to address PA and PIED both.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  5. Have all the real sex you (and she) like. It's a good thing. So people go hard mode, but you aren't really able to do that. Enjoy yourselves and discover what works for you without P.
     
  6. CELIBACY_GUY

    CELIBACY_GUY Fapstronaut

    You are correct , but this forum is good . Even abstaining from porn is a great achievement indeed . My best wishes for you .
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  7. Yes real sex is good :)

    The issue you are having is due to the porn going - but stick with it.

    When men are accustomed to porn, their body gets in sync with the unnatural high stimulous and when its taken away and given only natural, issues can arise with erections and in your case, orgasm. But its temporary. Before you started nofap, you were having sex with a desensitized mind, fueled by porn. Now, you are having sex with a desensitised mind, but its not fuelled by porn. Eventually you will have sex with a healthy sexual mind like nature intended, but this takes time.

    What you should do is not be orgasm-focussed. The aim of sex should be real connection and intimacy and shared pleasure with your wife - not orgasm. Lots of touching, eye contact, showing love. Focus on being present and in the moment instead of having an end goal. As you progress, this connection, intimacy and sharing of each other will become your brains new source of pleasure and arousal and this will lead to orgasm without you having to 'try'.

    The worst things you could do, aside from watching porn, are fantasising during sex or thrusting really hard to try to force an orgasm out of yourself. Really your wife should be aware of what you're doing and the effects of porn addiction so that she isn't expecting you to O and you don't feel pressured. I'm not sure if your PMO use is something she is aware of or not. Either way, keep it up, nofap does work, just give it time :) although it seems inconvienient, the difficulty you are having is the start of healing and restoring your natural sexual mind.
     
  8. Bottomofthemap

    Bottomofthemap Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the info and the advice. I’m in day 6 of no fapping/porn, and I feel ll great. I don’t know if it’s just my imagination or what but I feel more energy, less social anxiety, more focused, and I seem to have more patience.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  9. Very well done for your progress, that's great :D honestly it gets better and better, there will be ups and downs along the way though, so brace yourself for the hard bits and push on through :) I am 88 days free of porn or fantasising, and I've only MO'd once in that time, honestly I've never felt better emotionally and my sexual response is amazing now. It's good stuff.
     
  10. Given the observations you've made are all pretty commonly reported, it would would be safe to say that it's not your imagination - these things are really happening.
     

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