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Question: Does losing your virginity help?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Ksokc, Jul 10, 2021.

  1. Ksokc

    Ksokc New Fapstronaut

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    I haven't lost my virginity. I haven't went out my way to cold approach. Im wondering if getting laid will help me on my nofap journey. Maybe grow as a man. Did it help any of you in any kind of way? Is it really worth it?
     
    Green Monstah likes this.
  2. Keep it bro, save it for marriage, sex with strangers is hollow and leaves you empty, its just temporary pleasure that can never fulfill you like true intimacy.
     
  3. becomingreat

    becomingreat Fapstronaut

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    No one is going to give you an award for losing virginity!

    Also it doesn't offer any help to you(us), in fact it drains you of energy.

    As other member have said save it for marriage or at least for a meaningful relationship.

    Trust me pre-marital sex only LOOKS good from distance, it isn't as much fun in experience, specially for a pmo addict.
     
  4. live life the way you think you should friend, life is to short to listen to meaningless opinions from people who have no part in your life, if they are not family they dont matter is.
     
  5. learning

    learning Fapstronaut

    I saw a documentary claiming that many PMO addicts rush into relationships with girlfriends hoping that it will solve the PMO problem. Unfortunately the PMO addiction remains and eventually poisons the relationship with the girlfriend or wife.

    If you hire a prostitute to lose your virginity it is just assisted masturbation rather than sex. It is just a job for the prostitute.

    I'm no expert though.
     
    Abel100%, again and Melkhiresa like this.
  6. As a virgin myself I can only confirm that it troubles me. I feel the need for sex because it is everywhere and it is often elevated to be an out of this world experience. This creates a sort of anxiety for me. I personally don’t think I will ever get to experience sex as you need to be social and attractive for that (not only physically, the total package I mean) and it is a reason why my PMO addiction got out of control.

    I don’t think losing your virginity with a prostitute or in a one night stand will help your PMO addiction though, it will only make it worse. When you experience it once, you want it again and since you have no relationship you can only solve it through porn or prostitution, either are any good or anything to be proud of.

    This is just my opinion, it might be worthless and it probably is.
     
  7. again

    again Fapstronaut
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    It is a very valuable opinion.
     
    mummra and learning like this.
  8. again

    again Fapstronaut
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    It is a very valuable opinion.
     
    mummra likes this.
  9. learning

    learning Fapstronaut

    I'm a virgin too, and I don't expect that to change (I'm 54 years old). I did hire a prostitute a couple of times when I was young, because I was curious. At least for me, the prostitute was just like hiring somebody to help you masturbate. What is lacking is being able to stimulate the other person and see his/her reaction and receiving pleasure by giving pleasure (only speculating of course because I've never had a girlfriend and never will at this point in life).

    So I completely agree with you.
     
  10. Green Monstah

    Green Monstah Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for asking a great question! Definitely not an uncommon thing on many of our minds.

    From my personal experience, no.

    I was a guy who PMO'd 2xPMO/day/everyday/8years. That was from ages 18-26. At 26 is when I found NF and after reading, watching TEDtalks, and of course, "Your Brain on P", I decided that I wanted to quit for good. See my signature for an idea of my progress.

    Another brief history. I was a guy who never had a girlfriend. I never had much "history" or "success" with the ladies much of my life. I didn't lost my virginity until age 28, when I had my first girlfriend. To be honest, I don't know how I feel about it either. I won't pretend I didn't enjoy it... but in the end, we were NOT meant for each other. We dived in way too hard and way too fast. We WANTED to work, but we just were incompatible with each other. We had some bad fights, and then finally had an ugly breakup... and it left me a mess. I was on the verge of going back to Square One after the breakup. To be honest, I was not happy with this relationship (but the sex clouded my judgement). After the first few times I "slept" with her, urges were definitely low, but when we started fighting, it made me wanna PMO.

    I will say that losing the virginity MIGHT lower your urges to PMO, but NO GUARANTEES. If you are not with the right girl, you will go back to craving it, even while in a relationship. And not to blame a bad relationship for my PMO's. I have seen many cases where people have good relationships, but the PMO addiction is still happening behind the scenes

    Fight the PMO now. Do not wait for a relationship to happen. Do not wait to lose your virginity (PIED might even ruin that moment).

    I wouldn't say I regret losing my virginity to this girl, but I am conflicted if I would have done it still if I knew what I knew now about the relationship. In those sex ed classes in school, they teach you everything about sex (STDs, birth control etc,) but they don't teach you about how to make a smart decision. They don't teach you about the emotional mess it can leave you in, such as the depression when you break up with your "first".

    I'm not gonna say "save it till this moment or that moment..." If there is one advice is, make a smart decision who you lost "it" with. There is no need to pressure yourself to lose it at any age just for the sake of losing it
     
  11. That's like thinking if you've only been drinking near beer it will help your drinking problem if you graduate to real beer with a higher alcoholic content and help you "grow."

    If you want something to help you grow in this context, it'd probably be more like getting a job to support a family and then dealing with all the issues with the wife and kids. A lot of people in that situation don't even have that much time for sex.

    Which documentary is that? Also, you mentioned being a virgin and hiring a prostitute - did you not end up having sex?
     
  12. I agree, it makes me quite sad that I haven’t been able to do that in my lifetime. I hold pleasuring and giving the woman attention higher than receiving pleasure myself. Just cuddling and hugging before and after the big deed must feel like heaven on earth, I think.
    There is this myth that most men just want to have sex 5 min done and dusted but I don’t buy that, I am not like that.
     
    learning likes this.
  13. FlorianStayStrong

    FlorianStayStrong Fapstronaut

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    No, it doasn't helped me, I wanted to have sex before my first court trial, I diden't wanted to go to jail as a virgin (I diden't had to go to jail, for then) but it wasn't important for me after.

    The first time sclhould be more special then an stupid lust.

    Before you ask, no, having court trials don't help you either, I will have my fourthed in September.
     
  14. learning

    learning Fapstronaut

    Unfortunately I didn't keep the documentary, but it was a Christian documentary about porn addiction. I believe the production company was "Discover Media" or something like that, but I'm not finding a link.

    I consider myself a virgin, because sex with a prostitute is merely assisted masturbation. I don't understand the appeal of it to be honest, but I know some people think it is a step up from masturbation. I didn't see any difference.
     
    HolyTheotokos likes this.
  15. FlorianStayStrong

    FlorianStayStrong Fapstronaut

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    It wasn't a prostitude, it was a real girl wich liked me.

    I would say prostitudes would coulnd as sexual enccounter, you are in an vagina.
     
    Last edited: Jul 11, 2021
    learning likes this.
  16. learning

    learning Fapstronaut

    You are correct by the normal definitions. It's just that with prostitutes in my price range it's nothing to write home about.
     
    HolyTheotokos likes this.
  17. ProminentPosterior

    ProminentPosterior Fapstronaut

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    Great deal of overlap in experiences here in regard to the in too deep too soon, emotional stressors, etc.

    Your porn addicted, borderline sex addicted brain is going to want to peel her clothes ASAP. What is likely to happen is actually learning about each other gets fallen to the wayside as you “learn about each other”. This problem is exacerbated if you’re very charming and comforting to be around, where you can secure a home run in the first date. In that scenario you will chalk it up to just those characteristics of yourself all the while disregarding your problematic sexual health.
     
  18. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

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    Sexually conditioning your self to what's normal, so real sexual encounters, real sexual experiences, real sex, this makes porn induced sexual dysfunctions less likely, or not as bad as what they would be if you were only getting the sexual conditioning from PMO.

    This doesn't mean that heavy, chronic PMO use can't still cause damage, but the guys who are still having real sex or have had a lot of real sex might find they're still able to perform in sex even though they also PMO, or if guys like this do end up with pied, they might find they recover much quicker from pied than other guys who have never or hardly ever had any real sexual conditioning.
     
    Last edited: Jul 12, 2021
  19. Abel100%

    Abel100% Fapstronaut

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    [QUOTE = "learning, post: 3065819, member: 183508"] Yo también soy virgen y no espero que eso cambie (tengo 54 años). Contraté a una prostituta un par de veces cuando era joven, porque tenía curiosidad. Al menos para mí, la prostituta era como contratar a alguien para que te ayudara a masturbarte. Lo que falta es poder estimular a la otra persona y ver su reacción y recibir placer dando placer (solo especulando por supuesto porque nunca he tenido novia y nunca la tendré en este momento de la vida).

    Así que estoy completamente de acuerdo contigo. [/ QUOTE]
    Amigo el sexo y la masturbación son cosas diferentes, sexo No se hace solo, se hace con otra persona o un animal, así sea una mala experiencia con otra persona, fue sexo y punto. Estuve casado y hay muchos momentos fenomenales y otros no tanto, así es la Vida... Pero una mala experiencia sexual no debe de decirse q es virgen , Asume que fue una mala experiencia y sigue adelante.
     
  20. PornisMyGirlfriend

    PornisMyGirlfriend Fapstronaut

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    No, no you are right it´s exactly what happens.
    35 here...virgin....still a hardcore porn addict. Even more than ever......
    I have no interest in sex anymore...even if I fantasize like crazy about it because I lost all hope. What I mean is that I would be unable to touch a real-life girl even if she was naked in front of me...something of course, that could never happen....

    Having sex with a prostitute or escort is basically having sex with a hollow being. It needs to be fast (she has other things to do) and she needs the money. She is not here to comfort you.
    Still once you got into it....the IRL ADDICTION kicks in, and you want it more but won´t be able to afford it unless...you repeat it....but then, having repeated sex with a hollow shell, is that a life perspective ?
     

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