Random sexual thoughts just pop up

I can mention from my own experience.

What you're experiencing is pretty normal. Happened (and still does once in a while) to me too.

As I spent time away from porn, my brain started re-ordering itself. The lusting over absurd and unhealthy fantasies started to abate, but it took time.

I've hooked up maybe about 7 times or so since I started. At first I would engage in some really heavy fantasies that weren't too healthy. But I realized that was hindering my progress. Doing some meditation allowed me some mindfulness in that.

Now I'm being more mindful of my thoughts. If I decide to engage in sexual activity it is with a healthy mindset. At first, it was kind of difficult, but now it's getting a lot easier, and I genuinely enjoy it and find it far more gratifying and fulfilling. I had sex with someone two nights ago, and it was amazing. Still slight issues with PEID, but those are going away, and my thoughts are on the other person and how they feel. No objectification. It was great.

Still have more work to go. It's a process, and as I've written before, nonlinear one, but there is a positive trend. Just stick to it.

 

You are absolutely right . Im also facing this kind of issue by imaging with my female college friends and my female co workers. I'm struggling since 26 Dec 2017 by not indulging in PMO and what I found that you should interact with people rather than sitting alone in a room means if you want to study ,study with your friends or study in front of family members. It's a only solution when ever we feel lonely these kind of thoughts pop up in our mind and we fail our regime. It's better not to stay alone in a room . And when you are alone talk with your friends on phone chat with them. It's a best solution. All the best

 

Don't agree. This kind of behavior makes you addictive from friends and not being alone.

 

Getting rid of fantasies is one of the hardest parts of quitting PMO, not gonna lie. I have two tips that might help you out, they helped me.
1. If you're exposed to any stimuli throughout your day, find ways to avoid them. This includes checking out girls in public. I know you don't think anything of it, but each time you check out cleavage or anything else your brain builds up a tiny bit of being turned on (awkward phrasing, don't know how else to say it), and then at night all this built up sexual energy comes forth as urges and fantasies. If looking at girls for too long in public is something you do, I'd recommend the 3 second method. Whenever you notice yourself looking at a girl in a sexual way, spend 1 second thinking about how hot, attractive, sexy, or whatever word you choose she is. The next second, simply accept within yourself that you find her attractive, also what helps me on this step is thinking of a reason I wouldn't have sex with her ("She's like 10 years older than me", "She seems shallow", etc). Then, in the third second, move on. Walk away. Avert your eyes. It's hard at first but it really helps after a while.
Once you get good enough at this, you'll even be able to do it with the fantasies themselves. Whenever one pops into my head I just go 1, 2, 3 and it's gone.

 

Fantasizing is natural. As long as it isn't too pornographic you should be fine. I hear fantasizing delays your reboot, but doesn't adversely affect it nearly as much as PMO-ing. So feel free to write anything, but once you're done writing, focus on something else. Also what's your purpose of noFap?

 

I used to have this crazy habit of going to bed, not important was it after M or not, but I would have this thing where I would just lay down in bed free from all worries sort of and then start proactivelly have sexual fantasies, I would just start creating these scenarios with girls that I know, with random girls that I have seen, with celebrities, basically anyone I thought was attractive I fantasised. So that was throughout my teens up until I had a very long streak of 4 months of nofap, I basically met my gf once in those 4 months. But after those 4 months I relapsed and started P and M again for couple of years until now, but basically I noticed at some point very randomly, that I don't do that fantasising. I just one day thought about it and realised that I havent done that since then. Every fantasy that happen to crawl into my head has a meaning, subconscious meaning I guess, and it is never forced, so it is natural. Everyone gets them from time to time.

My advice is just don't feed the thought until you can master yourself in this case, what I mean is until you can stop at any time with your willpower and redirect attention to something else and completely forget that sexual fantasy. So until you can do that, i do not reccomend feeding the fantasy. But it will happen throughout your life and don't get upset that you will never be able to get aroused by thought alone of someone, or something.