This was a post from back in March of 2018 when I was 19 years old. A Little update after I lasted 3 months without PMO from 3/14/18 to about 6/1/18. I then lasted another 4 months without P but I went back to M. So in total, I lasted 7-8 months without P. I have since relapsed in the last year and a half. I started watching more vanilla P and only M once in a while. In the last 6 months, I have gotten back onto hardcore interracial porn that has caused me to come back to NoFap because I have no control over my sexual urges. I feel that my brain has been hardwired to interracial porn and I want to get my sexual desires back again properly. Some Goals: try to get back my freedom of sexual thought, confidence, find a new way to cope with stress and get me on a road to finding a girlfriend. Hi, I am 19 years old and am a porn and masturbation addict. I started masturbating when I was in the 8th grade. So I was a late bloomer compared to many. I started to realize that I had an addiction to porn about 2 weeks ago. I had a really big revelation that has really made me stop porn and masturbation. When I started I was 13 yo and that some could say was old but I have always been a late bloomer. Anyways, I started out watching porn bc my friends talked about it and so I tried it but did not masturbate to it until I figured out how to. Once I did I started to look at vanilla porn. But in the 6 years I have been masturbating over time the frequency I did it went up and the type of porn I watched escalated. It went from stories to pictures, to lesbian videos, to straight vanilla porn, to MILF/mom videos, to gangbang videos, to hardcore Interracial videos and finally to Hardcore BDSM. Over the last 6 years, the type of porn I watched escalate very quickly. P and M took a huge toll on me emotionally. I was never the kid with the most self-confidence or self-worth and for me watching porn and masturbation made it much worse. It also affected the way that I saw women. My views of women are so warped and disgusting was another reason that I quit. Another reason is that it did not make me feel good after I did it. Finally, porn and masturbation just made me feel inadequate. I feel that I know myself very well and I tried to just masturbate without porn but it just led me back to feeling worthless and inadequate. As a whole, I ended up going back to porn. Finally, for me, M and P only put me in a bad cycle of the things that I talked about. Generally, I am a very happy person, but porn and masturbation just put me in a horrible spot.
Hey I'm just a normal ordinary member. No moderator superpowers and no special insight. I share my experience. Just another warm welcome and a heartfelt hello. This community has helped me so much. What works for me is "working" it. First, I read the literature published by NoFap itself along with reading journals. Then, do the work such as writing in my journal. Finally, but not least, getting involved with the fellowship. I found fellowship on the forums, but also in people's profiles. The forums tend to be longer posts, where the profiles tend to be more "conversational". That is what has worked for me. I like to remind myself that this community was here waiting for me with the lights on when I arrived. Now, I have to do my best to be there when someone comes to the community.
Hey OP, i understand you. I cam say that i went through similar situation. Dont be so sad about your 'taste'. You are right. P make us the disgusting person who we are now. But remember that, if some external ideas can be planted in our brain by P, it can surely be undone. Besides, i usually encounter some 'self arguements' that if i suppress my fetish, i cant be my whole self. And now to analyze it, first, i dont know if this argument is external or internal(come from me). And by 'me', define me? I think 'me' is just a whole bunch of different knowledge, ideas we collect throughout our lives, process it with our CPU(come from outside too, if we consider that the gene we have come from parents, not self-create). We are defined by our decisions, not some f*cking things others(especially those pro-porn advertisers) want us to believe. So start living life wholeheartedly, do want we want to do and trying, failing, suffering and ultimately winning over the devil called PMO. PS: sorry, i am a bit active these days, maybe this post is not relevant, i just want to share some thoughts PS2: english is not my mother language, forgive me for any mistake PS3: have a nice day!
I have really been proud of myself in the last 2 weeks or so. No porn use whatsoever. I've gone almost 6 months without any porn before. I felt that it was still beneficial for me for M 3-4 times a week as it was a good release. I felt that my self esteem was much higher without the P use at all. Not having the P has made me take more chances on women that if I was using P i wouldn't have a drive to do
So I wanted to update everyone that has been following along with me in my journey to try to enrich my life without the lasting effects of porn use on the mind. I have been off of P for a total of 21 days which is a number that I have achieved before. Two years ago I was able to sustain from PMO for a total of 2.5 months. This time since the relapse I have gone for more of a longer tooled approach. I have decided to avoid P in my life. Personally I consider I have a high sex drive and the original abstaining from PMO was good for a 75-day reboot. After that reboot, I was able to only M to the pleasure, sex stories and thoughts of my own brain. This is also what led to my relapse. This time around I feel different. I have more drive to meet women and want to connect with them on another level besides sex. As I said in my Re-Intro I was doing this because P made me not want to find a woman to connect intellectually, sexually and emotionally. The hardcore P+M days I saw women only having sex with men that were unrealistically endowed. My sexual thoughts have been more realistic after the abstinence from P. I have not totally gone back to a factory reset but I am adjusting to real life. I have more of a will and motivation to talk and interact with women to connect with them emotionally. Back in the hardcore P+M I only cared about how they perceived me physically not emotionally as well.
This is great advice @DrabToLight thanks for sharing. I will remember to reach people through their profiles for conversational outreach.
I have such corrupt views of women and sexuality so I am hoping for the stain of porn to wash away from my mind. I know sex is natural and expressing sexuality is okay, but I need a good reset to understand better how I can live a healthy sexual lifestyle. Awesome work on the great progress you're making
Hey, p can easily corrupt my view of both men and women. p distorts my view of men because from what I've seen in the locker room, most men aren't "built" that way. Also, my experience is that most women do not behave the way women in p behave. So, congrats, because, figuring that out has been a big first step for me.
If you do your best to stay off of the P those problems will work itself out. The brain has the ability to adjust if you are able to get rid of the drug that is handicapping. Keeping with the program is essential. I have only been with the program for a short period of time. I have seen that abstaining from P is the most essential to the process. Like Joel Embid says, "TRUST THE PROCESS."
Another update on my abstinence from P. I am doing very well while also being quarantined inside sue to the fact the New Jersey is under lockdown. I have some updates and some thoughts on the topic of quitting P/M. I have been Ming about 5 times a week without P. I have been off of P for about a month now. I really do feel great. I have a lot more self-confidence and I feel a lot sexier than I have in the past. This may sound odd but I really do feel my self-confidence oozing out of myself. The ability to not have to watch P and be able to pleasure me have helped a lot. I have been talking to this girl that I met and I am having a much easier time connecting with her than I would have if was still on P. The discussion is wide-ranging and I also am able to compliment. After I compliment her on something I do not feel odd or weird about it. If I was on P I would feel weird about complimenting a woman that I was sexually attracted to. As I have more time on my hands I have been reading a lot of the forums on NoFap. I have a couple of thoughts on the topic of PMO. I have done PMO and it was a phenomenal experience. There were a lot of benefits to the PMO. I am currently on a NO P. I like the idea of pleasuring myself in a safe environment. Ming to P is not a safe way to orgasm in my opinion. Ming to erotic writing while using the feeling my body feels is safe. I like to use erotic writing to challenge my imagination and test truly how horny I am. If I am not horny enough I will wait until the next day. I also use lube so that I can truly feel the sensation of my penis through my body. After I O using the tools of erotic literature and focusing on the sensation actually makes me feel better about myself after pleasuring myself.
